Silence of the Lions: Kejriwal, Rahul, Modi no better than MMS

by Overrated Outcast New Delhi’s most talked about book of the season is Sanjay Baru’s Slouching Towards Ten Janpath. It’s got everything! Gossip, betrayal, power play, sycophancy, and short-sighted narcissists who really wish they could be Prime Minister. The book begins on a balmy summer morning in 2004, after a surprised Congress had won the election. As the results were coming in, Sanjay Baru wrote a column in the Financial Express urging Sonia Gandhi to give up the Prime Minister’s chair and appoint Manmohan Singh in her stead. Thus, he was solely responsible for Singh’s ascension because as we all know, Sonia Gandhi gets her political advice from a business broadsheet that has less readers than the dubiously named ‘financial times’ supplement of a private newspaper. [caption id=“attachment_1498171” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  Why is Modi as silent as the PM?[/caption] Not only that, as Baru notes in his book, any success that Manmohan Singh has had, has been because of Sanjay Baru. Serving the country with dedication and humility, Baru was the only person of consequence in the Prime Minister’s office. Other officials were just a blur. They only deserve praise for the instances they took out time from their petty bureaucratic infighting to help Sanjay Baru save the world. You see, he was the person to whom everyone turned to whenever the government was faltering, or there was a huge crisis. The only reason Baru wrote the book was because he wanted to make sure the Gandhi family didn’t get credit for all of ~his,~ I mean, Manmohan Singh’s good work. Which is why Sanjay Baru is appalled at the accusation that he is cashing in. The reason his book is being hyped, promoted and released smack-dab in the middle of a highly contentious election while its subject is still Prime Minister is because Baru cares about him so much. This is his way of showering love upon his former boss! And if there is anyone in this country in need of a little love right now, it’s Manmohan Singh. In a few years, he went from being stoic, deferent, patient, mature, optimistic, accommodating, hard-working, brave, respectful, cautious, undeterred, funny, profound to defeated, stiff, uninterested, lost, emasculated, emotionless, a meandering mass of purposelessness. How did we get here? On paper, Manmohan Singh was thought to be a very inspired choice for Prime Minister. A man who has served in almost every level of government, who supposedly knew its ins and outs and was well prepared to make it work for once. It’s not like he is a simple rube or a shrinking violet. He didn’t get to the level he is at just by merely being subservient. There was a bit of talent and lots of politicking involved. He even had some mild successes! Yet, he floundered really badly. Even if his integrity is unquestionable, he abdicated responsibility when it came to his ministerial colleagues. He gave them a free reign and didn’t think it was his place to even politely nudge them in the right direction. He chose to work with incompetent people just because he got along with them. He was complicit by his silence. So when the whole edifice came crumbling down, all the queen’s horses and all the queen’s men couldn’t put it back together again. Which is why the same behaviour emanating from our three principal prime ministerial candidates is disturbing. While their lieutenants roam around the country threatening, provoking and cajoling people, Moe, Larry and Curly go about their business as if everything’s dandy. Rahul Gandhi campaigned for butchering enthusiast Imran Masood the day Masood was arrested for his hate speech. Arvind Kejriwal spent half the time in his short-lived experiment with governance defending spam king and urine sample aficionado, Somnath Bhariti. Narendra Modi’s supporters have been giddily wetting their pants in anticipation of his victory and have already begun telling people what they plan to do to them once the last vote is cast. So Modi gave us a sample of his strong leadership skills by posting a tepid and vague tweet that didn’t call out anybody. If he doesn’t agree with them, why has he yielded political space to them? A real leader doesn’t sit by idly by when someone campaigning in his name uses unacceptable rhetoric. For the past ten years, the country has suffered under a Prime Minister who was a mute spectator to the chaos around him. Seems like the next five years will be more of the same. * * * As another evening dawned in New Delhi, it’s most non-descript resident got up from his desk and walked over to the shelf holding all his mementoes. The first item he picked up was the one of a kind gold coin with his face on it that Narasimha Rao got minted for him as a present. He then saw the cowboy hat that George Bush had given him after they had signed the nuclear deal, despite Manmohan repeatedly telling that goofy simpleton that he really wasn’t into wearing hats. When he laid his eyes on the next item, he broke into a huge smile. He picked up the gag ‘Prime Minister LK Advani’ visiting cards he had made after his party won the election in 2009. He had someone in his office mail a couple of them to Advani anonymously every few months. He made a mental note to send a few copies to the BJP’s current Prime Ministerial candidate because taunting Advani was one of the few policies that enjoyed bipartisan support in this country. He smirked when he saw Arjun Singh’s wheelchair. These days, its only purpose was to soundlessly absorb Manmohan’s farts. He picked up a dart and hit another bullseye on the board with Pranab Mukherjee’s face on it. Well, ten years of practice had made him perfect at that. The loud gong on the old timey clock in his office made him realize that it was time to go home. He wiped his shoes on the doormat that suspiciously resembled Prakash Karat and headed for the exit. “Manmohan Singh has left the building,” said the head of his security detail on the walkie-talkie, as a signal to the driver to bring the car around. Overrated Outcast is a writer based in Delhi. You can follow him on twitter @over_rated.