Bahu, chemist and cough syrup: SP goondagardi gone stupid

by Lakshmi Chaudhry and Sandip Roy “S***e tere ko dukan se hi uthwa lungi, tu wahi rook,” threatened an irate Richa Yadav, yelling down a mobile phone at an errant New Delhi chemist, Ashok Malik. Malik’s offense: He did not have her required brand of cough syrup in stock. Retribution was swift. Five goons, including two policemen wielding machine guns entered the shop within 15 minutes and assaulted the hapless store employee. Such are the perils of disappointing the daughter-in-law of Samajwadi Party leader Ram Gopal Yadav. The optimistic Malik immediately called the cops and offered to show them the store CCTV footage of the incident which had been captured in its entirety [see it here ]. The Delhi police responded by doing what it does best: nothing. That’s until Malik wisened up and took his story to the media instead. The FIR was finally registered on Wednesday night, soon after the footage aired on news channels, evoking outrage amongst most viewers except the Delhi cops. [caption id=“attachment_1136663” align=“alignleft” width=“380”] A CNN IBN screengrab of the chemist and he CCTV footage.[/caption] Now, in the grand scheme of Indian things, being roughed up by security personnel on behalf of powerful politicians is pretty ho-hum. But this tawdry incident marks an exceptionally stupid exercise of goonda power for several reasons. One, cough syrup. Really? Cough syrup? Political goons beat up hapless citizens all the time, but they at least pretend to have good reason. A rightwing thrashing requires some element of immorality or treason. Hence the Bhagat Singh Kranti Sena assault the hapless Prashant Bhushan. Sure, there are less loftier forms of political thuggery aimed at offending cars who get in the way in traffic, block entry into night clubs, but cough syrup marks a new low even by our degraded standards. Malik’s crime was not of defiance but of circumstance. He simply didn’t have any bottles of the required brand. Even the most entitled princess would move on to the next chemist – who was likely right next door given the penchant of pharmacies to flock inexplicably together. Then again, Richa is a member of the Samajwadi Party royalty whose underlings recently assaulted booth staff for asking an MLA to pay up like he was some common plebe. But while the urban middle class may not care as much about a toll booth worker on some distant highway, we are far less indulgent about attacks on our neighbourhood chemist. After all, this is the guy who figures out the right medicine for Pinky’s fever when doctor-saab is too busy to answer the phone. Two, the SP USP. The headlines tom-tomming the ‘return of goonda raj’ in UP reached a crescendo with the Muzaffarnagar riots, and finally spurred Akhilesh Yadav into a series of penitent interviews offering fresh promises of reform. The last thing he needs is yet another reminder of all that’s wrong with his party’s thug culture – more so from someone a wee bit too close to the ancestral home. Richa’s claim to royal privilege, i.e. her sasurji, is Ram Gopal Yadav. Mulayam Singh’s brother and the guy who claimed that UP doesn’t need IAS officers in the wake of the Durga Shakti firing. UP wouldn’t need policemen either except they come so handy when SP honchos – and their families – need to keep uppity chemists in line. Now, sadly, the two UP cops who formed the lynching party have become a political albatross, adding ever more to Akhilesh’s woes. But as that old saying goes, you can take a Yadav out of UP, but you can’t take UP out of a Yadav. Three, not in my backyard. ‘Horror in VIP Delhi’ says an outraged Headlines Today underscoring the other takeaway from the story. Much like Delhi real estate, goondagardi is all about location, location, location. These kinds of shenanigans might work in the Back of Beyond in Barabanki but we won’t tolerate such dehati antics in our national backyard. That the cops were from UP police adds more fuel to the Delhi-gone –to-the-dogs outrage. As Headlines Today anchor Rahul Kanwal made clear: “This is a story we will continue to track because leaders form the Samajwadi Party have turned Uttar Pradesh into a virtual jungle raj. Now their goons in khaki can do the same in the national capital.” Sure, Delhi’s not exactly the bastion of public safety – especially for women – but we have to draw a line when our hapless male chemists start receiving “uthwa loonga” threats. Four, lal batti gone wild. When the Supreme Court has blasted the rampant misuse of red beacons and sirens across the country, most of us shrugged. The lal batti is just part of Indian politics as usual, the ultimate green light to act as a bully. The lal batti and the armed muscle that accompanies it is routinely employed for everyday political work, such as stopping traffic, clearing crowds, intimidating witnesses. But the Yadavs appear to believe in more fully multi purposing their private army. Their police posse, armed with sten guns, is used for truly critical missions as fetching cough medicine for the bahu. And now the police officers’ superiors have been busy trying to stonewall demands for an FIR while uparwalas tried to stop television channels from airing the video. But in all the outrage about politicians drunk on power, spare a thought for our men in khaki. Once they were hauled up for fake encounters with Maoists and militants. Now they are reduced to fake encounters with chemists. Lal batti culture has reduced our police force into glorified errand boys, chhotus for memsahib. Five, in your face and on camera. All politicians throw their heavyweights around, but even political thuggery has its rules. Rule one: Don’t use your personal mobile phone with a number that can be traced right back to your WhatsApp picture. Rule two, try not to send your goons into a place with CCTV cameras. That’s plain sloppy. Richa_ji_ seems to have been relying on one unassailable truth of Indian law and order: When everyone knows who your father-in-law is, the cops exist not to uphold the law but to bend it to your will. The police despite being presented with the CCTV footage, dragged their feet for 7 days before filing an FIR, and remain bravely skeptical and determinedly clueless. “We have registered a case and are looking into the allegations. The chemist has lodged a complaint against unknown persons,” said DCP (South) B S Jaiswal, adding, “The complaint he gave us did not seem genuine.” As Headlines Today puts it: “You can see. I can see. But police can’t see.” And Richa Yadav and her family is betting that they will continue to remain willfully blind. But rest assured, our political class has learnt the important lesson of this little story: keep your goons in mufti.