Aww, he is such a ramzada: Your dictionary for the new vocabulary of Modi's India

What Shah Rukh Khan was to senorita, Narendra Modi was to ‘shehzada’, not long ago. Then, the general elections of 2014 happened and our Prime Minister had to distract himself with selfies with world leaders and prints on his suits to resist the temptation of a wisecrack or two. But his country, like a loyal Salman Khan fan, didn’t let him down. As his party and his opponents, kept springing up one memorable word after another that would make its way into our vocabulary, his fans made sure that they all found pride of place in the Twitter vocabulary of highly effective (read annoying) phrases. On the first anniversary of him heading the government, we draw up a list of phrases and words that have become indispensable to our vocabularies after he became the country’s Prime Minister.

1. Ghar Wapsi, verb

Origin: Angry Hindu conspiracy theorist’s cricket match-less work day

Meaning: According to the creators of the phrase, ‘return home/to Hinduism’. In case you didn’t know, the mentioned conspiracy theorists would claim everything from Nutella to Kanye West as ideas that originated in the ancient scriptures of the religion, but was marred by others. For example, it’s a bit like saying, they created Benedict Cumberbatch, but some other religion hijacked him and turned him into Kanye West, thrusting upon the world his wife’s selfies, his own temper and Twitter account too. But as eternal optimists, they will suggest that West can be Cumberbatch-ed back, with a little sprinkling of Gau Mutra we suspect.

Can also be used to as a replacement for rehab, grounding and scolding.

Examples: “All that vodka will kill him. He needs ghar wapsi to whiskey, asap!” or “Vicky wants to audition for Roadies! Give him a good ghar wapsi someone!”

2. Love Jihad, verb

Origin: Angry Hindu conspiracy theorist’s dry day or the unfriendly neighbourhood Muslim conspirator’s dungeon which exists in the former’s nightmares

Meaning: In its most traditional sense, it means a Muslim man or woman crooning ‘Kaho Na Pyaar Hai’ to a human of the Hindu variety. As the latter, armed with a brain destroyed by K-serials, responds and run into the arms of the former, love jihad is achieved.

Can also be used as replacement for poaching, stealing or robbing.

Example: “ABC company has a great tech team. We have to love jihad from them soon.” or “I think she is trying to love jihad my best friend! How dare she pose with her in the HRC washroom?” or “Dude, I hate Mumbai locals. My phone got love jihad-ed again”

3. Presstitute, adjective

Origin: Ardent BJP lover’s bad Twitter day. Then endorsed by BJP minister VK Singh.

Meaning: Journalists whose articles you don’t want to agree with or like. Also journalists who haven’t been heard singing ‘pal, pal, dil ke paas, tum rehte ho’ to BJP/Narendra Modi yet. It has been recently discovered that the word has also been used generously by Salman Khan’s devoted fans.

Can also be used against anyone/anything you don’t like or agree with.

Example: “Yuck, this pasta is so presstitute man!” or “My ex got a new boy. He is so presstitute that it’s not funny!” or “Monsoons in Mumbai are absolutely presstitute.”

4. Ramzaada, adjective

Origin: In the labyrinth of BJP minister Sadhvi Niranjan Jyoti’s brain, which we suspect couldn’t deal with Dilli ki sardi

Meaning: The children of Ram, most literally. Hence, divine and all things good. The nice guy, noble guy, thoughtful guy, the guy whose Facebook DP is one where he is seen feeding stray dogs.

Example: “The guy is boring, but such a ramzada man!” or “The bartender put extra rum into my LIT for free. What a ramzada!” or “All the ramzadas of the world are either married or gay. Pfft”

5. Suitboot, noun

Origin: In Rahul Gandhi’s head in a vipassana chamber

Meaning: Too preoccupied with suit, boots, money and all such inconsequential things when there’s bacon, Belgian chocolate and dahi papdi chat to obsess over.

Can be used to refer to things overtly snooty, posh or expensive.

Example: “Oh, you can’t come to Andheri? So suitboot of you” or “They have a really suitboot house in Delhi” or “She is the most suitboot person in this office.”