All political parties put together cannot stop us: Imran Khan

Imran Khan should really watch The Life of Brian more closely. Pakistan’s celeb politician told a crowd at the Kolkata Literary Meet at the city’s book fair that he was shocked when he saw the classic Monty Python comedy in Britain. “It made fun of Jesus,” he said.  Where he came from poking fun at religion, God, or his prophets, was just a no-no. Khan should have paid more attention to the rest of the film. Like this bit.

Brian: I’m not the Messiah. Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly. Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity. Brian: What? What sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah! Followers: He is! He is the Messiah! Brian: Now f*** off! (Silence) Arthur: How shall we f*** off, O Lord?

[caption id=“attachment_198314” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“Imran Khan offered few clues about how he’d manage to be a strong leader. But he did sort of outline his vision for Pakistan.”] [/caption] Imran Khan, in his Tehreek-e-Insaf avatar is busy trying to become Pakistan’s elected Messiah. But if his appearance at Kolkata was any indication, he has few miracles to offer and only a lot of political pablum. Rahul Bhattacharya, his interlocutor, and the author of Pundits from Pakistan skipped the cricket and kept the conversation on politics. Khan stood at the podium, while Bhattacharya sat on the chair making for a rather off-kilter visual that quickly sent the message home. This was not a conversation as much as it was a star politician giving a stump speech. He had little to offer. Kashmir – the reason we are in such a deadlock is we have not had “strong leadership in both countries at the same time.” But inshallah, once Tehreek-e-Insaaf comes to power, we will. Even better, the new generation coming of age is not quite so weighed down by all that Partition baggage. What? You want specifics about what he’d do to resolve Kashmir? Well, really, that has to happen in negotiations. He can’t just give ideas unilaterally. But “strong leadership” is a must. What about cross border terrorism, the kind that spawned the Mumbai attacks? “If we say it’s our responsibility that nothing originates from Pakistani soil, we’ll make it happen.” How? Strong leadership, of course. Imran Khan offered few clues about how he’d manage to be a strong leader. But he did sort of outline his vision for Pakistan. He wants  an “Islamic state” as Iqbal had envisaged it but not a theocracy. Islam, he said, does not believe in theocracies and only really produced two – Afghanistan under the Taliban and Iran after the Revolution. His “Islamic state” is a state which is humane, a welfare state where “religion was the alternate to materialism.” He was sanguine that the army wouldn’t get in the way. “The consensus in Pakistan now, is no matter how bad democracy is, there should be no military rule,” he said. “If there was any possibility of the military coming in, it would have come in already. We have the most corrupt government ever. Our country has become the ultimate predatory state.” Corruption is one of his pet peeves. He says he’s been talking about it for years.  “The third world is the third world for one reason only – corruption of the ruling elite.” No hints about how he’d make a Tehreek-e-insaaf ruling class corruption-free. But the answer is political.  Anna Hazare would be much more effective if he had launched a political party said Khan. Khan has big plans for his party. He doesn’t want to be in a coalition government. He thinks that’s a big problem in India. “We’d rather sit in the opposition,” he said. “But right now all political parties put together will not be able to stop us.” The only thing that can stop Tehreek-e-Insaaf, is Tehreek-e-Insaaf according to its founder. Actually Imran Khan has an Imran Khan problem. He’s good looking. He reminds Pakistan of the 1992 World Cup victory. He is cosmopolitan, suave, a jetsetter. He was late for his event in Kolkata because he’d just flown in from Davos and was jet-lagged. He is trying to hold onto that charisma even as he tries to reinvent himself as a more down-to-earth religious politician. It leads him into strange verbal twists. On Rushdie, for example. “No one should have the right to inflict pain on each other. What is more painful for a human community is for that human community to decide. Who is to say (that what Rushdie wrote) is not more painful to Muslims than the Holocaust is to Jews?” Except as Bhattacharya pointed out no one was killed by the Rushdie book. On jihadists. “You must fight terrorism not with bombs but my winning the hearts and minds of people. The root causes of terrorism always lie in politics, never in religion.” On the assassination of Salman Taseer. “That assassination had nothing to do with religion. It had everything to do with the war on terror. That radicalised people in Pakistan. We got into this war because the ruling elite made money. 20 years ago they made money by training jihadists. Now they are making money by killing jihadists." But then a moment later he was taking pains to point out that 9/11 had nothing to do with Pakistan, yet it suffers grievously for it. Imran Khan will not engage anyone in any conversation about radical Islam because he thinks that’s a false narrative set up by the West –  that the Muslim world is caught in some terrible fight between radical Islam and moderate Islam. “9/11 didn’t happen because of radical Islam. It happened because of the Arab Israeli conflict,” said Khan. At the end of the spiel, an elderly Bengali man stepped forward to ask a question. He said he was 75 years old and he remembered being in Eden Gardens when Imran Khan took Sunil Gavaskar’s wicket with his very first ball. “It was an outswinger,” said the man. “You took Sunil’s wicket even before we settled down in our seats. Please recount what went through your mind at that moment.” It could have been a genuine electric moment of connection – a true fan with his hero. But Imran Khan, sadly, didn’t remember. The cricketer had become just another politician. The politician had other things to worry about - like coming to power. Then suddenly the electricity went out. The auditorium plunged into darkness.  The conversation about change in power in Pakistan ended rather ominously with a power cut.