Barbering tales: Mumbai's The Paris Kesh Kala Mandir can't be Truefitt and Hill but it is no less

It must be the most poetically named barber shop in the world. The Paris Kesh Kala Mandir - the Paris Temple of Beautiful Hair. It has been around for a long time, bang on Mumbai’s Colaba Causeway where the road narrows into the market area. It is a small little recessed place, narrow and rectangular, with a bench on the side of the long section and the chairs aligned along the opposite side. The barbers all come from Uttar Pradesh and have their own network. Hassan arrives in Mumbai, and then passes the word onto his fellow aspirers who join him in Paris. They then proceed to learn the ropes from Hassan on how Mumbailog have their hair cut. The price of the basic haircut has kept up with inflation but is still reasonable. More important, for those who focus on the basics only, the service is without the bells and whistles. Metrosexuals not welcome. [caption id=“attachment_2453964” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  A barber at work in Mumbai. Reuters[/caption] On the essentials Its joys are many. First and foremost, unlike in the West, the barber does not talk to you. There is none of the slightly forced camaraderie of a barbershop in, say, New York or elsewhere. There are no banalities on whether the Yankees have a chance at the World Series, or the travails of the barber’s favorite cricket team. Mercifully therefore, there is also no chance of the barber reminding the hirsutely challenged about that expanding bald spot at the back. The flip side is that there’s no sage advice to the anxiously shedding along the lines of “Sonny, in mah forty years of barbering, the only thing ah’ve seen that stops falling hair, is the floor.” Second and crucially, there’s none of that unnerving choice a high end establishment gives you. Here, there are only two choices – the “short” and the more complex “medium short”. This is sound and logical, given that hair is usually long when you visit them. In fact, the biggest benefit loyal customers have is not even having to describe what’s required. The talented barbers at Paris - like others of their tribe - have this instinctive skill of sizing the hair up and reducing it to exactly the same level it was at the previous visit. You just squeeze into the chair, and it is done. Third, you can indulge in the comfortable ritual of a close shave in a time when that art is getting lost. The final touch with the hot towel takes place, but for hygiene reasons, isn’t recommended. Fourth, there is no queue, a function of the adequate number of chairs. This is a seven-chair establishment, so even on a Sunday, there’s no long wait. None of that “By Appointment Only” baloney. Fifth, they even dye chest hair which is a little yuck, but hey, some customers want that. Sixth, service is superb and no nonsense. These guys are good at what they do, and are particularly adept at replicating a cut from a more swank establishment. One client returning from America took out a snap shot and said - do it like that. Which Zahoor imitated perfectly, resulting in a loyal customer for many years. Finally, and unusually enough, they all have the same skill set, so there’s never an issue with going to the same establishment and getting the cut mucked up with a different barber. Whipped into shape at 4000 a pop At the other end of Colaba Causeway, you actually have the other end of barbering. This is Truefitt and Hill, the oldest barber shop in the world as certified by the Guinness Book of Records. The Colaba branch comes complete with that round striped pillar outside which indicates a barbering establishment. These guys have what you’d call “heritage”. They’ve been around since 1805, cutting the hair of the dandies of Regency London, and then going on to shear the likes of Thackeray, Dickens, Wilde, and Churchill. Truefitt’s is under royal warrant no less, part of that grand stable of British brands that include Turnbull and Asser or Holland and Holland; brands that have the right to proclaim “By Appointment to..” some royal poobah. They’re in the Regal cinema building right at the circle, next to the HDFC Bank. At Colaba, a haircut with a shave thrown in sets you back almost Rs 4,000. That’s about thirty times more than what it would cost down the road at Paris. Why Truefitt’s exists in Mumbai is a mystery. The clientele is exclusively male and the market for such haircuts is negligible. (Women, it is admitted, are a different ball game with a lot more doodah that can be done to their hair). Part of the answer might lie in the proximity of big hotels with lots of visiting foreigners in the area. Haircuts are a textbook example of a non tradable service. You cannot make a haircut in Mumbai and export it to London. But locating a haircutting service where visiting Londoners stay in Mumbai, and giving them the chance to cut their locks at a discount to what it costs in London, might work. Depending on how you look at it, the Rs 4,000 for the cut and shave charged in Mumbai, is still a steal compared to the Rs 12,000 or so it would cost at their London establishment in St. James’s. It’s all about the labour arbitrage. The idea is similar to medical tourism. The market travels to the service if the service cannot get to the market. The idea is sound but the overheads are considerable, compared to the Paris Temple of Beautiful Hair. It remains to be seen whether Truefitt’s makes a go of it or joins the crowded graveyard of luxury brands in India. Truefitt’s abroad makes a big deal of the traditional hot towel shave, actually marketing it as part of a wedding package for the groom. (Presumably, getting high end grooms whipped into shape for their wedding day is also part of the Mumbai branch’s business plan.) At Paris, the shave is just part of the daily service. Truefitt’s is also into up market male grooming, so metrosexuals are very much part of the target audience. At Paris, it’s your everyday Joe, so there’s less male vanity on display, that is if you ignore the chest dyeing in progress. Presumably, Truefitt’s unnerves some customers with the range of services available, unlike the “short” or the “medium short” at the Temple of Beautiful Hair. Pity the ferengs don’t drop in at Paris and ask them to replicate the Truefitt cut and shave at one thirtieth of the cost. Even if Paris offers a similar haircut — which it does in the opinion of this writer — there is the issue of language, and all the other barriers. Adil Rustomjee is an investment adviser in Mumbai. Comments are welcome at a_rustomjee@hotmail.com.