A dummy's guide to Bandra's low-budget watering holes

This is a tough job. Writing about places to have a drink. I’ll manage though. This week, it’s about watering holes in Bandra (West). The focus is on places where the primary reason to visit is to have a drink. When you’re broke: Yacht, on Hill Road [caption id=“attachment_93867” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“Representational image. Unlisted Sightings/Flickr”] [/caption] It’s a ‘quarter bar’, where you can order alcohol by the quarter or half bottle. There are three ‘sections’; an air-conditioned dingy room, another air-conditioned dingy room and a non-air-conditioned dingy room. What did you expect? The Ritz, when you’re broke? Regulars include local traders (fairly noisy guys), youngsters from the neighbourhood and some couples who do not want to be seen in public. Decent snacks, as the establishment is run by fine gentlemen from Mangalore. Indian, lots of seafood, Chinese. No free snacks; you have to pay for the peanuts, too. Avoid the non-bottled water. Avoid beer; it’s often flat and they will NOT change it. Good for a hard-drinking boys night out – which shouldn’t be long enough for you to need to use the loo. It stinks. One sure way to dump your girlfriend – take her to Yacht. Do they accept credit/debit cards? Yup. Open till about 1.30 am or till the cops come to shut it down. Continues on the next page So infra-dig, it’s dig: Janata Bar at Pali Naka [caption id=“attachment_93880” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=" Decent, non-flamboyant food but great value-for-money. Image from the bar’s Facebook page."] [/caption] Again a quarter bar, but not half as dingy as Yacht, nor as cheap, but still cheap. Non A/C ground floor, air-conditioned first floor. The place has wonderful energy, always crowded, lots of laughter. Very, very safe for women, though they will discourage you if you’re alone. Women are treated well by staff and guests. Polite and firm waiters, very good service. Decent, non-flamboyant food but great value-for-money. Their helpings are large; fried rice is a big draw for singles who come here. Lot of seafood. If you can speak Tulu, that’s an advantage when you ask the waiter what fish is fresh. Eclectic mix of guests; the young, the professionals head for the A/C rooms, while the locals and the traders fill up the ground floor. Good place to eavesdrop on advertising agency gossip, as many from adland come here. Many live in Bandra, so it’s logical, I guess. Great place for a get-together with colleagues, college-mates, etc. Loo still bad, but not a total disaster. Credit/debit cards accepted happily. Open till about 1.30 as well. Continues on the next page Nobody goes there anymore – it’s always full: Toto’s Garage Pub at Pali Naka [caption id=“attachment_93874” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“Toto’s, funnily, doesn’t encourage big groups. Unlisted Sightings/Flickr”] [/caption] It’s almost 20-years-old. And it’s a brand – I’ve written about it here for Campaign India, a magazine I used to edit. This one is super-safe for women, single or in a group. Clean loos, separate for males and females, is a bonus. Toto’s, funnily, doesn’t encourage big groups – go in a group larger than eight and they’ll politely tell you to take your custom elsewhere. The only place in Bandra where you get fresh beer on tap (no, you’re sure not at Taj Lands End). Good food, not too expensive. Try the sausages, the kebabs, chicken sandwiches (I kid you not, they’re great) and even a chicken omelette. Terrific retro music and a TV that shows movie channels only – on mute. You’re likely to bump into marketers and advertising, media and marketing professionals on any given day. Opens only in the evening, 6 pm onwards. Last orders around midnight. They’re very tough on underage drinking, so if you look younger than you are (lucky you), they’ll ask for your ID. Tough to get in after 10.30 pm; Toto’s actually stops entry once the place is full. Good time to go if you want to sit comfortably is by 8 pm. Prices are decent-ish; Rs 600-700 for a pitcher of Kingfisher on tap. Good place to go with your girlfriend/wife or boyfriend/husband. Of course, they accept cards – not American Express, though. Toto’s used to see many celebrities till a few years ago; now, as I said, it’s so crowded that nobody goes there anymore… and there’s no valet. Parking tough to find if you’re late-ish. Continues on the next page Where the F is WTF?: WTF, somewhere near Khar Station WTF (no, it doesn’t expand to anything) is not in Bandra, but it’s certainly a part of the ‘Bandra’ circuit of watering holes. Very close to Khar West station. Air-conditioned and non-air-conditioned sections to choose from. The first thing you need to do is is be nice to the waiters. All of them who hover near you. They disappear once the place is full, which is around 9.30 pm on weekdays and 8.30 pm on weekends. Decidedly a young professional’s hangout; median age will be around 25-28. Good food; try the beef. Almost always excellent. Ask for an omelette if you’re not very hungry even if it’s not on the menu. A plate of mini-burgers is a must if you’re more than two. They’ll ask for your credit card up front if you’re not a regular. They won’t swipe it, though, till you call for the bill. Large flat screen TVs to keep you abreast of sport events. Common to see large groups troop in to catch the big football matches. Good place for good conversations, especially if you sit outside (no music, no TV). Women are safe and happy, loos are clean (and separate). And, as is the case with Toto’s, cards are welcome, but AmEx is a pariah. Prices on par with Toto’s. Continues on the next page If you’re a sardine…: Hawaiian Shack, near Linking Road [caption id=“attachment_95103” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“Image courtesy: Hawaiian Shack”] [/caption] If you’re a sardine… you will love Hawaiian Shack. Round the corner from Toto’s. Multi-floored, always crowded, but the kind of place people brush against you all the time, some by design and some by accident. Packs in more people than it has the capacity to handle, so it’s tough navigation to the loo. Therefore, stay off the beers. Cover charges and entrance fees for stags are a put-off. Same price range as Toto’s and WTF. The service is terrible, so be prepared for long waits for your refill. Sensible to order multiple drinks at once. Good music; different at different levels, so choose from Retro, Hip-hop, R & B and, unfortunately, Bollywood as well. Not a great place to go if you’re over 40; the flipside makes it ‘happening’ for the younger lot. Not cheap. All cards accepted. Parking is a pain. Valet could take forever to get the car back. Continues on the next page View Food Destination in a larger map