The new found love for dad bods and plus sized models is just pointless

He’s at the beach, he’s wearing swimming shorts, and rising above that waistline is a gentle belly that seems to be primed to make its owner belch. The man in question is Leonardo DiCaprio and hey, if DiCaprio can bare his paunch with pride, so can you. No longer will you be judged for not sporting a six-pack and having a little bit of a jiggle in the middle. For this license to guzzle the extra beer or wolf down your favourite fatty snack, gentlemen can thank American student Mackenzie Pearson, who wrote a blog post extolling the virtues of the “dad bod”. An asset you can acquire even without being a dad.

According to Pearson, a dad bod is “not an overweight guy, but it isn’t one with washboard abs either”. That’s nice. It’s always good to not be pressured into conforming to a certain body type. Pearson’s “dad bod” post quickly went viral, and there, dear readers, lies the problem. Because now, mainstream media just can’t get enough of overweight celebrities.

Regardless of your aesthetic preferences in the realm of male buffness – would you like to be pressed against a six-pack or is being out of shape more in sync with your worldview ? – there is no arguing that Hollywood can boast of men who make pudgy look desirable. DiCaprio has almost been handed the crown for the dad bod of the century . Gorgeous Jon Hamm who played Don Draper in Mad Men seems to be the runner-up. Russell Crowe, Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd are other regulars in the celebrity dad bods’ hall of fame.

Lists like this may make your eyes roll, but they’re not a hardship if those are the men being photographed. Consider the Indian equivalent: The Times Of India (no doubt wanting to seem sensitive after posting pictures of Deepika Padukone’s cleavage) carried pictures of men they thought had dad bods . The chosen ones include Vijay Mallya, Chetan Bhagat, Boman Irani, Shashi Tharoor and Govinda. I kid you not. India Today’s list has Rishi Kapoor, MS Dhoni and Aamir Khan. Why Khan? Wait for it, and I quote – “further proof that he is a dad bod? A fan hugged him in China”. I still haven’t figured out that logic, but if you do, drop us a comment.

I understand our Indian media’s quandary in finding actor’s with dad bods, since all our leading actors – even those pushing 50 – seem to think that acting talent begins and ends with a waxed chest and an eight pack. However, let us observe a few seconds of silence to mourn how women seeking manflesh are being pointed by leading publications to objectify the likes of Mallya and Kapoor. There really is no justice for women in India.

Here’s what few seem to have noticed about Pearson’s original blog post – the appreciation for dad bods isn’t about men and their bodies, but about women and their body issues. “While we all love a sculpted guy, there is just something about the dad bod that makes boys seem more human, natural, and attractive,” writes Pearson in her post. “We don’t want a guy that makes us feel insecure about our body. We are insecure enough as it is. We don’t need a perfectly sculpted guy standing next to us to make us feel worse. We like being the pretty one. We love people saying ‘they look cute together’. But we still like being the center of attention. We want to look skinny and the bigger the guy, the smaller we feel and the better we look next to you in a picture.”

Ergo, the only reason men should let go is for the greater cause of making women feel like we aren’t fatties or invisible. Because you see, we want to be slim and the centre of attention. Just for a moment, imagine how we’d have reacted if a man had written this in order to justify his preference for petite, thin women.

What’s evident from both Pearson’s original post as well as the dismal truth that no one is doing lists of “mom bods” is that when it comes to women’s bodies, it’s just a minefield of insecurities. Bombarded by either images of impossibly fit bodies or politically-correct campaigns that strive to show us unattractive figures in a photogenic light, we’re groping in the dark to figure out what is a regular, healthy body shape that could be considered a norm.

Recently, a young woman named Tess Holliday made news for being the biggest plus size model to get a modelling contract. Holiday is the first size 24 model to be signed on by a major agency. She weighs 117 kgs and is 5 feet 5 inches tall. Apparently she trains four times a week, which suggests that contrary to appearances, she is fit and healthy.

However – and I realise that this will unleash upon me the ire of feminists – let’s not pretend Holliday is not overweight. If showing anorexic models in fashion shoots presents a terribly skewed beauty ideal, then Holliday as a role model is equally suspect. Because I’m willing to bet that most people who are 117 kgs and 5 feet 5 inches tall don’t have the physical stamina to work out. Their weight is likely to be the result if unhealthy eating and a sedentary lifestyle, which means that no matter how beautiful they think they are, they’re also hurtling towards a heart attack in all probability. If you want to resist fashion diktats, then please look past the illusion that Holliday is presenting just as you sneer at the scrawny, bone-popping figures that are held up as examples of beauty.

I doubt we’ll ever get over this constant obsession of pushing one body type over another. Neither will we tire of constantly judging our celebrities – mainly women - by their fat quotient. Perhaps instead of trying to find norms and ideas, we should just focus on the basics: be fit, eat healthy and define yourself by something other than how you look.

Ladies (and gentlemen, if you’re so inclined), let this be your theme song: