Ramdev wants social boycott of Aamir Khan's film, but here's why he is like alien PK

Baba Ramdev - India’s one-stop doctor for pimples to bhrastachar to diabetes - has taken deep, very deep offence to Aamir Khan’s PK. No, the bearded guru is not fighting for the right of hair to exist on the human body, though he should have made a fine crusader for the same. Instead, he has joined the august breed of humans who get offended more often than they sneeze or scratch their heads. Very recently, while on a trip to Mumbai, he chastised Hindus for being lazy, chips-eating, cola-guzzling, couch potatoes who watch films and yet don’t get angry enough. Since the accused Hindus are guilty of lives, careers and common sense, they haven’t yet protested the fact that Aamir Khan’s PK ‘denigrates Hindu Gods and Goddesses.. and insult our saints’. Now, take a moment to quietly applaud how he slips ‘saint’ into the sentence like Yo Yo Honey Singh slips ‘Yo Yo Honey Singh’ into his songs covering a variety of subjects from lungi dance to dope shope. Then consider what he has said, as reported by The Economic Times: [caption id=“attachment_2020557” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  Agencies.[/caption] “People think a 100 times while talking against Islam. However, when it comes to Hinduism any one gets up and says anything, this is shameful. There should be a social boycott in society against those who are involved in making such movies.” However, the interesting bit here is, for people who have watched PK, the Baba might seem to have striking similarities with the titular character - the alien in the film played by eyes wide open Aamir Khan. We list three very obvious similarities between the two. They both have magical powers PK is your prodigious alien-next-door and follows the human blueprint for aliens - sharper, smarter and can run Apple and the North Korean nuclear weapons industry just fine with a hangover, alone. PK’s hands are USB devices. They have the telepathy hitherto reserved for Ram Gopal Verma’s possessed heroines. And they can do Google translate in a flash. Six hours of hand holding with a woman and Khan’s alien starts speaking like Lalu Prasad Yadav in the parliament. The moment he holds someone’s hand, he can not only read what’s going on in the person’s mind but can also catch up in his/her life history in a flash. Guess what, our Baba Ramdev has claimed several such feats that otherwise defy all human logic. For example, he claimed that he can ‘cure’ homosexuality with yoga. “Homosexuality is not genetic. If our parents were homosexuals, then we would not have been born. So it’s unnatural,” he declared, inviting the gay community to his ashram, so that he could cure them of the ‘disease’. Anyone who can tell homosexuality from malaria might roll their eyes in disapproval, but our Baba is not to be put down. “I guarantee to cure them of homosexuality. Today they are talking of homosexuality, tomorrow they will talk of having sex with animals,” he asserted. Even PK’s eyes should open wider at that. The again, where as science says that you can’t choose the sex of the child you conceive, our Baba would not be deterred by science. He reportedly invented a pill, which allowed you to choose the sex of your child - especially if you wanted a boy - with the same ease with which you select the toppings on your pizza. In the past, it was alleged that Baba Ramdev’s pharmacy was selling pills that could help children conceive boys, though the Baba vehemently refuted the claims.  They both rock gender bender chic and how! While you might be slightly unsure about Baba Ramdev’s favoured outfit - we shall call it the yogakini - that’s not all that he has to offer in the fashion department. Before you applaud Bollywood for breaking gender stereotypes and making cleavage-baring tank tops fashionable for men, look to our Baba. He gave the good old salwar kameez a makeover even Manish Malhotra couldn’t have imagined. In 2011, while trying to flee from the Ram Lila Maidan in Delhi, where he was apparently protesting against corruption, the Baba draped himself in a salwar kameez and covered his head with a dupatta to evade the police. But then, his beard played spoilsport and stuck out of the dupatta, giving him away. Later, he posed nonchalantly in the same outfit - you will notice how it’s not a tent that he was hiding under. It was what you call a slim fit, figure hugging one that would have made Bollywood shaadi wardrobes for the aunty-types proud! Ditto for PK, the alien who must have made a detour to the Vogue office before landing on earth. No wonder then, in the middle of a desert, he picks out a yellow lehenga, with an oh-so-in neon pink border. To go with it, he chooses a beige blazer and a pristine white shirt to cook up an outfit that would make Milan proud. Props for gender bender chic for these guys, anyone? They both don’t get humans. The reason Aamir Khan’s eyes remain distended like Nemo's throughout PK, is because he doesn’t get humans, says the film. The same might apply for the man who suggests that there should be a ‘social boycott’ against the makers of a fictional film or Or questions what contribution homosexuals have made in the world. In fact, the alien gets its name because the its naive wondering questions are usually met with the stock response: “Peekay hai kya (Are you drunk?)"  And that sounds exactly like something we have often wanted to ask Baba Ramdev when he makes one of his tall claims.