Who moved the falafel? PM Modi's Arabian adventure comes with a Gujarati thali

Imagine you travel to a country you’ve never visited before. A country known as much for its crude and lucre as it is for its cuisine. Yes, it is also known for refusing the sequel of Sex And The City to be shot there because it had the word “sex” in the title, and believes in public executions. But for the average tourist, there’s the falafel and hummus and stuffed dates. The UAE’s most recent celebrity visitor is the Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, who is back on his travels across the world. This is quite the momentous visit as he’s the first Indian PM after Indira Gandhi, to visit UAE. So one can imagine that the red carpet would be rolled out by the Crown Prince Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed Al Nahyan and other dignitaries who were on hand to meet and greet Modi. And what’s a state visit without dinner diplomacy? What better way to appreciate and understand a people and a country than by breaking their bread and partaking of their food and customs? So the question was what was the dinner in the dinner diplomacy? What Middle Eastern delights would be served up to impress Modi? Which star chef from the UAE would be called upon to display the country’s culinary wonders for the visiting dignitary? Well, the answer to this is – Chef Sanjeev Kapoor. [caption id=“attachment_2395862” align=“alignleft” width=“380”] A dash of Gujarati to welcome PM Modi. Star Indian chef Sanjeev Kapoor was flown in by UAE authorities to prepare PM’s favourite. Twitter/@MEAIndia[/caption] Yes, our very own desi chef and ex-Jhalak Dikhla Jaa participant Sanjeev Kapoor was flown in from good old India, to cook up – wait for it – an authentic Gujarati shudh vegetarian meal for our prime minister. MEA India’s Vikas Swarup, who seems to be on Twitter for the better part of state visits, tweeted, “Star chef @SanjeevKapoor was flown in by UAE hosts for a special vegetarian menu in honour of PM @narendramodi”. So when Modi sat down to dig into some hummus, falafel, couscous, kibbeh, what he found instead was coconut khandvi with mango salsa, chakri, lauki kachumbar, fafda chutney. A Beiruti hummus was thrown in for good measure as a little concession to the hosts. The main course had a Royal Gujarati Thali which had wondrous Emirati delights such as Undhiyu, Kadhi, Aamras puri. Instead of Modi visiting UAE, it was like his Arab hosts got to visit Gandhinagar. Is this what the ad meant about the charms of Gujarat ki khushboo? This is like the nervous desi immigrant packing 70 frozen aloo parathas for that trip across the ‘kala pani’ to America where he is convinced they only eat beef burgers. It reminds me taking an India holiday package tour to any foreign country. The tour operators decide in advance that the travellers want to eat Indian food at every meal. So you may be sitting in Shanghai, waiting for some authentic Chinese fare, but finding masoor dal and tinda with pulao being served to you – and gobbled up by your co-travellers. These are the moments when my heart goes out to Modi-ji. Imagine travelling all the way from Delhi to UAE, only to find that the your Gujarati kitchen has tagged along with you. Why would they not serve him their cuisine? The Middle East has such a fabulous repertoire of vegetarian dishes. This is the same as if Barack Obama was visiting India and was served a Hoagie, a beef burger and chili at a state dinner. Just to make him feel at home. For common folk like us, and maybe even Modi, a large part of going to a new city, town, country is so much about food. The flavours, ingredients, dishes that are used and prepared. It helps you discover so much about a place. Modi could have tweeted out pictures of his Arabian feast which thousands would have retweeted. But thanks to the Chef Sanjeev Kapoor, what did Modi discover in UAE? What he could have discovered any day in his own kitchen in Gujarat or Delhi. It’s an odd way to honour someone visiting your country for the first time. By not serving them your food. What could the logic be? That because UAE is primarily non-vegetarian and our prime minister is vegetarian, better be safe than sorry? Whatever the reason, all Modi has to show for his state visit other than for an improved bilateral relationship, is a bowl of khichdi with paatra. And yes, it’s common knowledge and been reported often enough that when US President Barack Obama travels to various countries, he does so with a retinue of 500 people, including the White House chef and kitchen staff who carry Obama’s food and water. The chefs usually check the food being served, before it is dished up to their president. Yet, when Obama visited India in January, the state dinner included “mustard fish curry, gushtaba (pounded mutton dumplings cooked in yogurt), and achari paneer (cottage cheese cooked with traditional pickle)”. And the food wasn’t cooked by Heston Blumenthal, it was cooked by our Indian chefs - not by Obama’s chef. And anyway Sanjeev Kapoor is not Modi’s khansama or personal chef – at least to the best of my knowledge. It is a show of clout to say that they’ve flown in our country’s star chef to cook our PM a vegetarian meal, but it also shows UAE’s strange lack of faith in their own cuisine as well as a nervousness about not doing anything to upset the visiting dignitary. The menu would have still made sense if it had been prepared by an UAE chef – as a way of showing Modi that UAE can be as authentically Indian as India. Or even included Middle Eastern staples like figs and dates and phyllo pastry in the dessert. But no such luck here. It was like a punishment - you will eat your khandvi till you agree to all clauses in the bilateral deals. No baklava till then. However, I’d strongly advise Swarup to pack up some falafel and pistachio baklava for the prime minister and himself on the way home, and of course tweet about it.