Living with Section 377: Four members of the LGBTQ community told us how an archaic law affects them

It’s a regular Saturday afternoon and Ashok Rai (name changed) is looking through Grindr. He’s hoping to have dinner with someone tonight. He comes across a profile he likes and swipes right. After chatting for 30-odd minutes, the two decide to meet for dinner at Connaught Place. Ashok reaches the place on time. His phone rings. It’s his date. “Hey, I’m in the blue Swift Dzire right in front of PVR. Can you see me? Oh, good. Why don’t you get in and we’ll drive together to that restaurant?” Ashok agrees and gets into the car. The doors is locked and the date aka goon in the car asks Ashok to cough  up Rs 5,000. If he doesn’t, he threatens to report him to the police and tell his family. Ashok panics. It doesn’t even strike him to fight back or question this chap or drag him to the police. He gives him Rs 5,000 and gets out of he car. He goes back home, deletes the app and goes to bed. Ashok told me this story when we met in July 2017, just at the beginning of the Delhi Bike Pride. In July 2009, the Delhi High Court had struck down Section 377 — only to have it reinstated in 2013 by the Supreme Court. Section 377 criminalises all non-peno-vaginal sexual acts — even those occurring among consenting adults. Since then, the LGBTQ community has had it rough. According to a study done by Humsafar Trust, post the Supreme Court judgment, 41 percent of the participants said that they have been blackmailed and have decided not to come out of the closet. 54 percent of the participants believed that the change in law is a major setback to the community as same sex relationships can be punished as per the law and 65 percent of the participants said that the community would have to lobby with religious leaders to resolve the issue. There’s no doubt that life has changed — and not for the better. We spoke with four members of the LGBTQ community about the impact Section 377 has had on them. [caption id=“attachment_3898845” align=“alignnone” width=“825”]  Participants take part in a gay pride march in New Delhi. Image via Reuters[/caption] Rohan Pujari, 30, Mumbai I was at the office of Humsafar Trust the day Section 377 was recriminalised and I was crying. A journalist got a good shot of me and the next day the photograph was in the Times of India. That’s how I came out to my parents and my mother didn’t speak to me for a couple of days. It was quite dramatic. Even though it has been four years now, my parents really haven’t accepted me as I am. I am their only son and they wanted me to have a  family and children and lead a regular life. Instead, I won Mr  Gay World India 2017 (first runner up). It’s crippling not to have support from your family but thankfully I’ve found like-minded people at work. I am open about my sexual orientation and feel strongly about the rights of the LGBTQ community. But I think we all have dual identities. It’s just so difficult to be who you are. I like the idea of settling down, getting married and running a household but I’m having a tough time dating someone. Most of my partners have a huge problem with me being openly gay. They think that the community will ostracise them and the police will lock them up if they are seen with me in public. Even holding hands in public is a subject for a heated debate. So many of my friends who want to live with their partners have a really hard time finding an apartment. Many of them have been blackmailed and had money extorted from them. If 377 wasn’t around, life would definitely be a little better. It may not bring immediate societal acceptance but it would at least take some unnecessary fear away. It would reduce exploitation. Sonal Giani, 30, Mumbai The biggest change that has happened after 2013, is that people have decided it’s safer not to come out of the closet. Blackmail and extortion cases have gone through the roof. A lot of young college students and  professionals who had considered coming out to their parents and friends went back to leading a dual life after the Supreme Court judgment. It’s happened with my then partner too. Post-2013, she said if she told her father about it and he said it was illegal, what response would she have for him? Single women have it tough anyway. If you’re gay or bisexual, it gets a bit messier. There are so many misconceptions about lesbians; the scariest one is that people think if you’re gay you’re easily available and they can have their way with you. I know plenty of stories of women who were abused by family members because their fathers or brothers thought that once they’ve had intercourse with a man, they’d be “fixed”. Despite all this, I’ve been open about my sexuality. I’ve spoken freely to the media but I make it a point not to discuss it with everyone. I am a private person and I see no benefits of telling my landlord or neighbours about my sexual orientation without reason. I imagine, it could only create trouble for me. Single people in Mumbai struggle to find apartments. My struggle is a wee bit harder. Plus, unlike a regular married couple, I can’t buy a home with my partner. The law doesn’t permit that. You can register a house only with a blood relative or your spouse. Work-wise, it’s better to be in an organisation that’s accepting. I used to be in hospitality but I found the industry extremely homophobic and chose to leave. After that, my job with an NGO required me to assist LGBT victims of violence in five states. A lot of my daily work involved filing FIRs and accompanying people to court. The perpetrators almost had no sign of remorse and would, in fact, go around telling everybody that my client is gay and that’s a big crime. They’d eventually stop when I told them that I’m bisexual and that there’s nothing wrong with it. My work now is more creative and I don’t have to spend all my time with goons and policemen. This is much better. But I do hope that 377 is discarded soon. You’ll be amazed at the number of support groups that prefer being underground after 2013. It is no longer easy to get help. If the law was on our side, society would be more supportive, work would get simpler and we’d just be able to get on with our lives, without these unnecessary hindrances. Harsh Agarwal, 25, Delhi I haven’t been extorted or exploited because of 377 yet — thanks to the privileges I have. I manage my own business and so there was no question of facing  discrimination at the workplace. But as much as I hate to admit it, every time I am outside the house or office, I move around in a constant state of fear. If I’m in the metro and I see a policeman, I immediately correct my posture. I put my phone inside. I’m always worried that they’ll come up to me and ask me some questions. Maybe they’ll take my phone away and find something in it that’s objectionable. And it’s not a baseless fear. This has happened to people I know. The police have approached them because they suspected them of  being gay, taken their phones and then unfortunately even found damning evidence. After that, it would have been a long walk to the police station if they didn’t bribe the policemen en route. If I’m outside with my partner I make a conscious decision not to hold his hand or hug him. It’s almost like I want to hide when I’m outside, remain unnoticed, unseen. I want everyone around to be oblivious to me. Living my day to day life with this feeling may eventually take a toll on me. Koninika Roy, 23, Mumbai I didn’t identify with the LGBTQ community till as late as 2015. My daily life of course, is not impacted so much by the law. I go on with everything as I would, even if the law weren’t around but a lot of my work is related to Section 377. As someone who counsels individuals who may have been abused, I end up dealing with one new case every month. People have been harassed for money, forced to empty their bank accounts and faced physical abuse just because they’ve tried to hook up with a stranger and it’s gone wrong. Many of these cases go unreported because of the fear the police. But the truth is that 377 is not about your sexual orientation. It’s about certain sexual acts, so everybody should be worried about this law. It’s unfortunate that people think that being gay is a crime. It’s isn’t.