International Yoga Day 2018: The 'handy' guide for those who don't really want to do much

India and indeed, the world — the reasonably flexible part of it anyway — marked the fourth International Yoga Day on Thursday. From Average Joes Jatins sprawling across soggy promenades in Mumbai to Prime Minister Narendra Modi leading what looked like at least 17,412 people in Yoga to television news anchors teaching viewers to stretch, flex and breathe, it seemed everyone was getting in on the act. But what about those who wanted a piece of the action, but for whom the whole idea seemed like too much hard work? Or those who try as they might, just can’t work out how to go about it? via GIPHY Not to worry, we’ve got just the thing for you, yes you. But first, let’s deal with the excuses: I’ve got no mat on which to do my exercise. Doesn’t matter, you don’t need one. I’ve got no snazzy Yoga pants to wear. Doesn’t matter, you don’t need them. Besides, those things are hideous. I’ve got meetings all day. Doesn’t matter, you can do this in your meeting. I don’t really want to get sweaty. You won’t, no one gets sweaty doing Yoga. I’m tired and hungry. Fine, grab a bite, take a nap and return. I just don’t want to. Fair enough, it’s a free country.  Our crack team of ascetics (yes, we have a lot of teams) who spend decades in the jungle to attain some sort of deeper peace, emerges once in a while to keep a track of the goings-on in the world. And also to seek answers to pertinent questions like ‘Who is the President of India?’, ‘Has global warming made it impossible to leave your home?’, ‘Does Ram Gopal Varma still make films?’, ‘Does the RSS still wear khaki shorts?’ and the like. This time, however, the team emerged, in a manner of speaking, with a discovery to share: Compact Yoga. Designed with the busy, on-the-go percentage of the population in mind, Compact Yoga allows you to get all the good vibes of conventional Yoga without any of the hassle — not to mention those excuses above. And don’t be put off by the fact that this form of Yoga is completely untested or that any health benefits you may enjoy are completely coincidental. The peace of mind and happy thoughts that you are certain to enjoy will more than make up for it. And isn’t that what Yoga is really about anyway? (What do you mean it’s not?) Without further ado, here are some of the asanas with which you’ll want to familiarise yourself at once. The Compact Yoga equivalent of Spinal Tap’s Gimme Some Money, this particular asana is designed to take away the stress from the end of the month when you’re rubbing together pennies.

And when you need a bit of relaxation:

When everything’s A-OK:

When everything’s better than plain OK:

Break into hives when you’re AFK for more than five minutes? This energetic asana should help ease that tension:

For fans of CID and ACP Pradyuman, this one ensures that whatever the gadbad, your mind and soul are able to steer clear:

Disclaimer: Any health benefits you may enjoy are completely coincidental.