Inconveniently yours: Why PM Modi can't ignore Jashodaben anymore

For now the Prime Minister’s wife has not really demanded anything. Except for some answers. One would have assumed a Prime Minister’s wife could just pick up the phone and call the PMO. But Jashodaben Modi has filed an RTI request instead. That act is a telling commentary on the state of affairs. She has the trappings of a VVIP but not the access. It is incorrect of Modi’s opponents to seize on Jashodaben as a stick to beat Modi with. Until now, to the frustration of Modi’s opponents she’s shown a rather sad and one-sided attachment to her state of matrimony but no desire to play the wronged woman. She still fasts four days a week for her man and tells MidDay “I will go and do his seva, he just has to give me a call. If he comes down to the building where I am right now and tells me that I should go with him, I will immediately join him.” The state of their relationship is indeed their private matter. But once she filed that RTI Jashodaben Modi also makes the parameters of that “marriage” a matter of public debate. The Telegraph reports that in 1987 Modi wanted divorce by “mutual consent” and she refused. And thus it’s wrong to point fingers squarely at Modi for leaving her stranded in a Trishanku neverland. [caption id=“attachment_1820767” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  Jashodaben with a copy of her RTI. AFP.[/caption] But the fact remains that they do remain married technically. And that puts certain obligations on him. Until now Jashodaben Modi had been used by both sides. Modi’s acknowledgement of her on his nomination form was supposed to prove his transparency but his supporters also used her meekness to dismiss her. She has said she had no problem talking to media but there was “ pressure” on her not to. Modi’s opponents hoped to use her to impugn the man’s character, showing up at his election rallies and trying to raise the issue before television cameras. It did not work because Jashodaben has never said she was wronged by her husband. She was content playing a flesh-and-blood Sati-Savitri-Sita, fasting, praying and patiently waiting without protest to be acknowledged as his wife. Like Sita in the forest, she uncomplainingly made her home out of her husband’s sight hoping for a sign. But all she got for her prayers was her name on his election nomination form. He might have seen it as a legal technicality. She read far more into it. “Temna manma mara mate ek so ek taka lagni chhe. (In his heart, he definitely has feelings for me)” she told the media. Finally she has done something Sita never did. She has asserted her rights. Or at least she has politely enquired what her rights are – as a lawfully wedded wife. And she is entitled to ask that question as any spouse is, leave alone the Prime Minister’s wife. Jashodaben Modi wants to know according to her RTI application: Under what order have SPG commandos been assigned to protect her? Under what orders do those guard tail her in government vehicles while she takes public transport? What other services she can get as per the protocol? Is she eligible under this protocol to travel in a vehicle? These are all perfectly legitimate questions. Of course underlying it all is a deeper personal question. She got the protection she did not ask for but without the status she wants. The SPG commandos tailing her ironically become a constant reminder of that absence. As her brother Ashok Modi put it to Indian Express “Vada pradhan na patni ne shu malvu joiye? Je prem emne malvu joiye, e nathi maltu. (What necessary facilities should a a PM’s wife be getting, the love that she should be getting is not being given to her). Jashodaben would be deluded if she expects to get that love via an RTI. “If she had approached me, I would have told her she should not hope for such an unrealistic thing,” his brother Sombhai tells The Telegraph. He complains that once “she and her brothers never spoke to the media. They always said that the couple’s separation was their personal affair. But now, not so.” That’s the real rub. Every spouse, separated, divorced or married, has rights. Many just choose not to assert them but that does not mean the rights do not exist. And by speaking to the media, Jashodaben has taken the first step towards asserting that right. That does not mean she should be portrayed as some kind of activist or a wife-come-lately trying to cash in on the PM’s success. @shilpitewari tweets that “if modi would have taken his wife along to 7 rcr or any foreign trip those overwhelmed with compassion for her would be flogging them.” That’s a non-issue. The point is she’s not asking to go with the PM to Australia or USA or Fiji. Asked about that she tells the media “How could I? But, if he shows me respect and calls me, I will.” And anyway that might be a perk but is hardly a “right” that any First Spouse enjoys. @DeepikaBhardwaj asks “How many women Ministers have thrown their husbands or changed a few or not taken care of them. Surely know one. Media Never discussed.” That too is a red herring. Jashodaben has filed an RTI on her own and why should we ignore it just because other Ministers might have not taken care of their spouses. @KaraiKudy says “I know10s GUJARATI Families,Husband wife stay away,paths never cross!Modi-Jasodhaben1 such!media shdnt be her spokespersons!MODI’s call!” Actually it’s not Modi’s call alone. It’s just as much Jashodaben’s call since she has as much rights within that marriage as he does. Her steadfast, even deluded attachment to a marriage that clearly never took off might be frustrating, inconvenient and baffling but it’s not wrong. This unresolved family matter from years ago might be a distraction to his job but that’s the way it goes. She is living proof that one should be careful about the aadarsh Bharatiya Sati Savitri one keeps wishing for. Once you have her, she might refuse to stop standing by her man. Modi does not have to move her into 7 Race Course Road or have her preside at state dinners. But at the very least he owes Mrs Modi some answers.