Five lessons all our politicians learn from the Tharoor-Pushkar episode

Oops he did it again. The Lok Sabha MP from Thiruvananthapuram appears to be facing divorce for the third time, and once again for stepping out on his spouse. [caption id=“attachment_1343091” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  The Tharoors in happier times. Image courtesy: CNN-IBN[/caption] The Shashi Tharoor-Sunanda Pushkar grand romance was the stuff of a tabloid reporter’s dreams. It had all the necessary ingredients: a high-profile politician in the midst of a corruption scandal that involved a very attractive girlfriend. That Tharoor was married at the time he met Pushkar in Dubai made it juicier still. But then they got legally hitched and settled into playing the it couple on the Delhi social circuit. When Narendra Modi made the mistake of describing Pushkar as a 50-crore girlfriend during a campaign speech in Himachal Pradesh, the ostensibly happily married couple could safely stake out the moral high ground, expressing outrage at his misogyny. But three years after the wedding, that united marital front has fallen irretrievably apart – and in the most spectacular fashion. What started out as a story about Tharoor’s hacked Twitter account has now turned into a sordid and very public melodrama of marital infidelity. Pushkar theatrically burned her bridges today by spilling the bizarro beans , accusing Pakistani columnist Mehr Tarar of being an ISI agent who is “stalking my husband” with whom he supposedly had a “ rip-roaring affair.” Now, Tharoor’s marital problems – however public – are his to resolve. Most of our politicians are not exactly angels for any of them to stand in judgement of his private life. That said, here are five lessons all politicians can learn from this absurd spectacle. One, keep your pants on. Adultery may be the world’s oldest sin, but politicians, for better or worse, have to live by a different set of rules, as Bill Clinton infamously discovered. Politicians around the world routinely fool around, but they also pay a high price when they get caught. Unlike celebrities of other kinds, elected leaders in any country – other than the notable exception of France – are not permitted to openly revel in the sexual perks of power. You either keep it discreet, or keep it zipped. Two, timing is everything. Tharoor may have successfully fobbed off the current imbroglio as an embarrassing private episode at any other time, riding out the news cycle which would inevitably turn to other matters. But not now, not with a national election round the corner. Tharoor has publicly declared his eagerness to seek reelection from his Lok Sabha constituency. But will his party give him the option now that his personal life will inevitably become electoral fodder for the opposition? Unlikely. Three, stray local. The most unpleasant aspect of the Tharoor marital drama is the jingoism evoked by the nationality of his alleged lover. Pushkar herself opened that can of worms by accusing Tarar of being an “ISI agent” – hence opening up her husband to allegations of allowing his libido to compromise national security. A ‘50-crore girlfriend’ is one thing, but a Pakistani one is a scandal of an entirely different magnitude. No one gets to choose cross-border love over country – except maybe if you are Salman Khan. Four, marry Ms Right. There is a reason why politicians prefer to marry traditional wives who will loyally stand by their man, irrespective of his many crimes. Like former Rajasthan minister Mahipal Maderna’s wife, Leela, who took up cudgels on behalf of her husband after he was accused of not just having a lover, but of arranging her murder. That’s true loyalty, bharatiya naari style. Unfortunately for him, Tharoor chose a bold and emancipated spouse, and of the most dangerous kind. Pushkar was never the kind of woman who would sit aside and let her husband rove free. That he picked someone who is adept at intercepting BBM conversations was more foolish still. Choosing a strong, independent spouse a la Barack Obama is very admirable, but then there’s a reason why he spends all his time wooing her with sexy date nights. Five, better yet, don’t marry at all. Of the many choices available to a politician, this is perhaps the safest, more so in India where bachelorhood is a well-established option. Unlike Americans, we are quite comfortable with the idea of a singleton politician, be it Mayawati or Modi. Ever since Jawaharlal Nehru romanced Edwina Mountbatten, our bachelor leaders have received a free pass, as long as they remain somewhat discreet. Even in the case of Snoopgate, it was the snooping rather than the relationship that raised eyebrows.