Book Launch: When Queer India came OUT!

“A sudden sadness overwhelmed me as I remembered that this was not real. It could never be. We could never be,” Juthika Nagpal’s voice wavers slightly as she reads a line from her story She’s like Wind”. Her story, like many others’, is a part of Out! Stories from the New Queer India. Nagpal is a single mother who lives in Bombay and describes herself as gender-fluid. Nagpal lives a ‘multifaceted existence’, and professionally contributes to the digital and new media industry. Her story is a tribute to what she calls a ‘long lost time’. Out! published by Queer Ink is a collection of stories that talk about the India we usually balk at talking about – it talks about queer India, peopled by gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender – an India that lives with us, but one that a lot of us won’t acknowledge. [caption id=“attachment_585004” align=“alignleft” width=“380”] Publisher Shobhna Kumar, Editor Minal Hajratwala, Actor Nandita Das along with some of the writers at the book launch.[/caption] The book, edited by Minal Hajratwala, features first-time writers and a few established names. It was launched at the Crossoword Bookstore in Mumbai in the presence of actor Nandita Das, Harjatwalla and a bunch of interested readers. Until three years ago, homosexuality was a punishable offence in India. The lives of queer Indians remained fodder for misinformed gossip, speculation or stayed limited to the largely apprehensive, closed social circles that many in the gay community stayed locked in. However, with the decriminalization of homosexuality, it was time that there was some cohesive written testimony of the country’s most misunderstood minority. Out! is probably an infant step towards that. From a village girl in a polyester salwar kameez to  one in a flashy sequin dress and red stilettos – Out! talks about them all. About who they were born as and who they wanted to be. Also how they went about claiming their bit of freedom. Hajratwala said that they had received hundreds of stories and had a tough time choosing 30 from them. “All this while, I was struck by how fresh these voices were,” she adds. “Unlike what queer fiction represents in the West, these people don’t live in some magical gay ghetto. They live right in the midst of the largely heterosexual social structure in India – some of them also subscribe to the traditional Indian family structure, one that has mothers and fathers, grandfathers, aunts, children, wives, neighbours and sometimes unlikely allies,” says Hajratwala. R Raghu Raj in his story _Crocodile Tear_s, explores the meeting place of the body and the heart, self and other, eros and kama. But underlying that, there are emotions. Emotions that most readers will empathise with, irrespective of their sexuality, if they have ever been in love. When asked when and how he came out, he says, “It was never a problem for me, my stories did it for me.” But the writer admits, it isn’t an easy task. “It’s easy for the rebellious ones to go out and tell the world, but not everyone is rebellious. There are people who carry the burden of their identity throughout their lives,” he says. But for 29-year-old Gazal Dhaliwal it wasn’t too difficult. “I feel blessed, my parents understood me so well and they were very very supportive.” Gazal felt she was trapped in a man’s body till about five years back, when she went in for a sex change operation. Gazal never played with her brother or his friends; she enjoyed playing around with her mother’s dupattas. Slowly, she realized what she wanted and that her identity was not of a man. Gazal is a happy and a gorgeous woman today. Her Twitter profile sums her up succinctly: “Yesterday - engineer; today - screenwriter, lyricist, actor; forever - hoper, adventurer, smiler and hugger :)” Gazal’s story A lipstick and a pink stole is dedicated to her parents, to show her love and gratitude. Asked if cinema will take the idea of queer India forward, Nandita Das says, “It will take its time, but will happen gradually.” “Fire may have been a bold step in Indian cinema, but, it is a reason for where we are today. It had its own contribution.” It sure is going to take a much more concentrated effort to drag India out of the closet and into the living room. And Out! marks that beginning. The book is priced at Rs 350. You can order it from here .