Amrita Rai should not have had to clarify on Facebook why she married Digvijaya Singh

Amrita Rai, an anchor with Rajya Sabha TV, took to Facebook to announce her marriage to Congress leader Digvijaya Singh. Rai was in the news last year, when Digvijaya Singh declared on Twitter that he was in a relationship with her and urged people to stop maligning the couple. While a relationship announcement on social media usually comes with it’s share of ‘awws’ and cheering, it was exactly the opposite in Singh and Rai’s case. Primarily because Singh is not exactly a political figure who enjoys great popularity in Twitter, which is in part dominated by BJP trolls. Also, when they came clean about their relationship, Singh was 67 years old and Rai, 43. There was audible clucking of tongues, crude jokes floating around on Twitter and pictures of the couple complete with sleazy captions or wisecracks doing the rounds of social media. In fact, BJP leader Sushil Modi jumped into the troll bandwagon and ‘congratulated’ Digvijaya Singh for ‘having an affair at 67’. Given that nothing is too sacred for social media to tear into, Singh and Rai’s relationship gave new fodder for internet jokes and memes. Rai’s former husband, Anand Pradhan, also a journalist also put out a Facebook post, saying that he respected her decision and urged people to respect their privacy. [caption id=“attachment_2423662” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  Amrita Rai and Digvijaya Singh. Agencies.[/caption] However, like everything else, that blew over and we pretty much forgot about the couple till Rai put out the Facebook post. Unlike posts about weddings, Rai’s post has an undertone of anguish even though she seeks to celebrate her wedding. “Last one and a half years have been particularly stressful and traumatic. I was the victim of a cyber crime, but was treated as a criminal. I was trolled and abused in most derogatory language for no fault of mine. Those who themselves have no concept or belief in love and dignity tried to shame me on social media. But all during this period, I kept a dignified silence and went on with my work, believing in myself and my love for DIgvijaya.,” she writes in the post.  She goes on to say that her decision to marry a much older man had been panned by the public and motives had been randomly attributed to explain why she was in a relationship with Singh. In what sounded like a clarification, Singh added, “I have already requested him to transfer all his property and belongings to his son and daughters. I only want to embark on this new journey with him, working towards a dignified, professional career.” Digvijaya Singh spoke to India Today from the US, confirming the news and said that they were abroad for medical consultation for Rai. Rai’s move of sharing the news of her wedding on Facebook may not be out of normal, but her explanation of the nature of her relationship points at the kind of evil that social media breeds. If you read it twice, the post almost seems like a defence of the relationship she shares with Digvijaya Singh. Here are two adults getting into a relationship, with almost no recorded objection from their own families. Yet, since it involves a political figure, it was a relationship free to be taken apart on social media. A similar pattern followed when social media decided to pay close attention to Modi’s relationship with his estranged wife. While the conversation around his wife after she filed an RTI was understandable, people went to great lengths to explain her relationship long before that – including her duties as a wife of a PM, and her misery. While some suggested she should not be seeking attention from the great national leader, others batted for her right as the PM’s wife. Some maligned her as an attention-seeking old woman out to feed on her husband’s reputation, others defended her as a long suffering woman whose life was put on a backburner by a man with soaring political aspirations. She was the villain and the victim, a hero and a loser - labels that the media and social media chose to define her by. No one can say that Narendra Modi was greatly inconvenienced by this chatter, by Jashodaben, chased by TV cameras and journalists sure saw her life overturned. “I have and will continue to shoulder my personal and family responsibilities on my own,” Rai says towards the conclusion of her post. That’s not a clarification she should have ever have to give.