How to tell when an agent (insurance, loan) is lying to you

Confession: The headline for this story was supposed to be “How to spot a liar”, but then the story would have been wrapped up in just four words. “Look in the mirror.” The truth is that we all lie. Some people lie all the time. All people lie sometime or the other. Anyone who claims otherwise is either a silly liar or just delusional. It could be a lie to play a prank, or a lie to your boss, about the flat tyre and why you reached work late. Or, you could be white-lied-to by a friend who didn’t turn up for your dinner party, citing the invitation mail went to the junk folder and she saw the invitation only after the event was over.

Consequences: But, lies can have serious consequences if you are at the receiving end and your money is involved. An agent trying to deceive you to buy a particular investment, could damage your portfolio, worse wipe your account clean. And, an insurance agent could mis-sell you a life insurance policy which would leave his savings account a bit bulkier and your family high and dry. A car salesman could easily manipulate you to buy a car, where he gets the highest commission, instead of a car that suits your needs. The possibilities of you being lied to while dealing with money matters are endless. Sample this, according to IRDA’s annual report for 2010-2011, there were 2189 mis-selling complaints registered with IRDA.

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So, what do you do when there is endemic mis-selling, lies and deception in the financial system? Well, you could keep your money under the mattress, or you could learn a thing or two about lie spotting and use this information while handling financial agents.

[caption id=“attachment_513301” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  Image courtesy David Hilowitz/Flickr[/caption]

Face: The adage that says, “No one can lie while looking straight into your eyes,” is nothing but a myth. Author, Pamela Meyers, in her book Lie Spotting; Proven Techniques to Detect Deception, says, “Unfortunately, the myth that “liars look away” persists to this day: 72% of people in a large survey identified this action as a sign of lying. In fact, liars tend to exhibit more eye contact, and for longer stretches, because they believe this will help to “sell” their story.” So, next time you face an agent trying to convince you to avail that loan, and he looks straight into your eyes and prolongs the eye contact, be cautious.

The next clue is that most people when they lie, involuntarily do a few things, which could help you know the red signal. When people lie, there is always an increased amount of stress, which has to be dealt with. Touching the face, lips, ears, scratching the nose, and at time even covering the mouth with the palm, or using a handkerchief to cover the mouth is a sign. She adds, “If you’ve baselined the behaviour of the person you’re talking to, spotting the out-of-place gesture will be easy.” This lie detection technique had been used by investigative agencies and police forces in various countries successfully for years.

Body: Dr Rajan Bhonsle, MD, counsellor and psycho-therapist says, “When someone lies, their body gives signals. There is slight perspiration on the forehead. It may not be as evident as they show in the movies.” This clue may not be an easy one to spot, but if you look intentional, you might just spot some perspiration on the forehead of the agent, even when the AC of the room is full blast.

Mumbai based, Psychiatric, Dr Keerthic Sreevathsow, says, “When someone lies he becomes fidgety.” The dictionary defines the word “Fidgety” as: antsy: nervous and unable to relax. The body usually tells more about a person then his words. Bhonsle says, “Becoming fidgety is a common sign, one moment he could be sitting in the seat, the very next at the edge of the seat and then back again into the seat. He may not sit in a relaxed manner.” Of course, those telling the truth do move their body naturally, but when someone is lying he will over do it, or he could do just over do the opposite, that is to have a very stiff body.

Another signal is when the body does not match the words. While the mouth may be saying a “yes”, the head movement moves in the direction of “no” and vice versa.

Words: Agents usually have the gift of the gab, or else how would they be able to sell their products or financial services? But, when an agent starts repeating himself over an over again, it’s time to raise a few red flags. Bhonsle says, “Another technique which liars use is distraction, where they keep repeating the same things over and over again, so that this information distracts you from paying attention to some information they don’t want you to focus on.” Another reason for frequent repetitions of certain information is that they have rehearsed the rebuttals to your questions very well, or sales pitch very well. Repetitions not only help them control what you focus on, but also distract you from asking more questions.

Sreevathsow, “A good strategy to follow is ask the same question which the agent is trying to avoid answering in three four different ways, you will realise that there isn’t any consistency in his answers, when he is lying about something he isn’t sure of.” So, go ahead and ask the question a number of times in different ways to spot the lie.

In the book Meyers gives some very interesting techniques. For instance, when you ask a question, the person who lies repeats the question in verbatim (word to word), before answering. This gives him that extra time to think about the lie which he wants to tell you as a reply. Then there is something called contraction. When people tell the truth they use words like “I don’t think, you will lose money with this investment.” But when a liar lies, he won’t use contraction denial, instead he will say, “I do not think, you will lose money with this investment.” Since he is lying, he will put an extra emphasis on denial.

Then there are other signals like, not shrugging both shoulders fully, but giving a partial or half shrug with just one shoulder. Usually when someone is lying they will over emphasise their truthfulness with word like honesty, to tell you the truth, and like. You can read more about more signals on Meyer’s website.

End note: Honestly, we think you can become an expert lie-detector just by reading this story. Bhonsle says, “You cannot spot when an agent is telling a lie, just like that. An agent, who lies would be doing it for years together and has enough practice, but there are a few things like body language that can help you spot some deception.” The best thing to do is read the terms and conditions of the financial product you plan to buy. Take second or even a third opinion from various sellers, check insurance quotes across companies and sales channels. Nothing beats doing your own research and due diligence, before buying a financial product. But, a little info, on how to tell when an agent is lying to you, will sure help you recognise the red flags.

PS: We have lied to you at one place in this story. Can you spot the lie? Let us know with your comments.