Brokers kick Monkeys, but indices have outperformed all

A full glass of defeat with a dash of bitter lime. That’s what the Monkeys tasted as the brokers made a (nearly) clean sweep of the investment charts.

For the week ended 1 June, the brokers’ portfolio, consisting of 10 stocks picked by 10 stock experts, posted the best performance as it slipped just 1 percent. In comparison, the Nifty and Sensex lost 1.6 percent each.

Monkey portfolio 1, consisting of 10 randomly selected stocks from the BSE 100 , dropped 3 percent, while unlucky-as-always Monkey portfolio 2, comprising 10 randomly selected stocks from the BSE 500 , contracted nearly 4 percent.

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The broker’s portfolio also managed to show the best performance for the period since all three portfolios were created (19 August, 2011), giving up just 1.3 percent ( see table ). It almost matched the Sensex’s 1.1 loss and was just marginally worse than the Nifty’s 0.08 percent loss over the nine-and-a-half month period. Bhel was the biggest loser in the portfolio, surrendering 39 percent.

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Monkey portfolio 1 came next, declining 3.1 percent ( see table ). Adani Enterprises was the worst performer, losing 55 percent of its value. As for Monkey portfolio 2, well, what can we say? Its fortunes seem to be getting worse by the week. For now, it’s down an extraordinary 18 percent ( see table ). Its biggest drag remains Manappuram Finance, which lost a steep 60 percent.

Firstpost has heard from sources that Monkey 2 is feeling extremely depressed about his portfolio (who wouldn’t?). It seems he is actively thinking about selling all his stocks and exiting the markets. After the depressing GDP numbers - India’s GDP growth for the March-ending quarter fell to 5.3 percent, the slowest pace in nine years - and gloomy forecasts about inflation, Monkey 2 is rapidly losing hope that his portfolio will recover any time soon.

The more cool-headed Monkey 1, however, is trying his best to dissuade his simian friend from quitting. He believes everything will turn out all right in the end. Clearly, he belongs to that old school which believes in investing for the ’long term’. You don’t see many of those types around today, do you?

However, Monkey 2 is in no mood to listen. For now, he’s venting his frustration on the brokers. One by one. Sneakily. On the revenge menu this weekend is a plan to pay a gym attendant to put itching powder on the exercise shirt and shorts of one of the brokers before he begins his workout. Rather childish, we think, but monkeys will be monkeys, won’t they?

See you next week!