The year 2017 started on a bizarre note. While Prime Minister Narendra Modi shared his lofty vision of a Digital India, the women of the country were given a lesson on Indian culture, how to dress appropriately and how you ask for it every time you go out without male company and are made to realise that nothing has changed for them. Three days after a few women were molested during the New Year's eve, Samajwadi Party party leader Abu Azmi shared some crispy nuggets of wisdom.
"Agar meri behen-beti suraj dubne ke baad gair mard ke sath 31 December manaye aur uska bhai/pati uske sath nahi hai ye theek nahi hai (If my sister or daughter goes out with another man to celebrate the New Year and her father or husband is not with them, do you think she will be safe? I don't think so.)
That's not all, he came up with a rather strange analogy to describe or rather find an excuse for the predatory behaviour in men: Agar kahin petrol hoga aur aag aaegi to aag lagegi hi. Shakkar giri hogi to cheeti wahan zarur aaegi (Petrol will always attract fire. If there is sugar, then there will be ants). In case, you are a tad bit confused, the women are being compared to sugar and men are ants.
Typical of our politicians, instead of addressing the elephant in the room, Home Minister Rajnath Singh issued rather a vague statement: "Protecting the modesty of women is an important issue in the country." Whatever modesty means.
Of course, there is nothing new in women or girls being compared to strange objects, sometime even food. Remember the nursery rhymes:
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice and all things nice,
That’s what little girls are made of.
But then Azmi need not look very far. High-quality lyrics from Bollywood songs provide inspiration:
"Main to tanduri main to tanduri murgi hoon yaar
Gatkale saiyan alcohol se"
For Azmi, FP Special Forces have come up with some more analogies to describe women.
- Without men, women are like fries without mustard.
- If women are Penthouse Letters, then men are self-help books (that's where the mansplaining comes from).
- Women are like cellphones and men are the uninformative, overeager telemarketers.
- Women are polar bears of North Pole and men are albatrosses of South Pole (because yin-yang?).
- If women are the bridemaids, then men are the DJs belting out 'gandi baat' (because sanskar).
- Men are like Brussels sprouts and the women are like mirchi bhajji (they always ask for it).
- Women are like LCD screens and men are like the remotes.
- Women are sentences, men are prepositions
- Women are like fried fish and men are like ice cream. They don't belong together.
We can go on all day with this. Luckily for you, we won't.
Okay one more: Women are like dental floss and men are like apple parings.
What do you mean it's a ridiculous comparison?
Men like Abu Azmi will not make sense, women will remain incredulous and the sky will continue to be blue.
Updated Date: Jan 03, 2017 16:32 PM