International Women’s Day Part 4: Dear women, shed your inhibitions, embrace your sexuality and find your clitoris

When it comes to sexual health, one thing that often gets ignored is the clitoris. This is partly because not much has gone into the research of this tiny, super-sensitive sexual organ (since many claimed it didn’t even exist). Another reason why the clitoris seldom gets the attention it deserves is the taboo attached to the topic of women’s pleasure. But let’s set the story of how we came to know about the clitoris aside for now and answer the biggest, most popular question women have about it - how does one find the clitoris? [caption id=“attachment_7707891” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  Representational image. Image source: Getty Images.[/caption]

Know your vulva

You can’t go about a quest without a map. So if you want to find your clitoris, get acquainted with the lay of the land. If you already know your way around your vulva, that’s great - but not many women know what their vagina looks like. So get that tiny hand-held mirror out of your makeup bag, strip out of your clothes and get ready to become familiar with your anatomy.   The vulva (often mistakenly called the vagina) is a collection of organs that make up your external sexual organs. This includes your labia, clitoris, the opening of the urethra and vaginal opening. Every vulva looks slightly different, though - so don’t look at pictures or diagrams and then be freaked out by what you see in the mirror. Unless you feel any discomfort, it’s all completely normal. If you can’t see beyond your labia, you can pull the skin aside with the help of your (clean) fingers. Make sure your nails are trimmed and clean - the skin around and inside your vulva/vagina can be extremely sensitive and you definitely don’t want a cut or tear down there. Washing your hands is essential as you can easily transfer bacteria that may cause an infection.   While the clitoris is actually not so small in size, most of it isn’t accessible or visible externally. Only a small part (sort of a head) can be seen, and in some cases only felt, by you.  

Get handsy  

Now that you know what things look like, get ready to go exploring. A clitoris can be obviously visible in the first go or may take some time in finding. As we said, every vulva is different. So get some lubricant and feel your way around your vulva. You don’t need to go in blind, though - try the area about one or two inches directly north of your vaginal opening. The glans clit (clitoral head) is what you’re looking for. There might also be a small hood that covers it. If you aren’t aroused, it might be harder to locate the glans. When aroused, the hood covering it may retract itself and reveal part of the clitoris. The head of the clitoris will become a bit engorged when stimulated and this might make it more noticeable as well.   Interestingly, some old studies suggest that there might be a correlation between your ability to orgasm and the distance between your clitoris and vagina. These studies were conducted many, many decades ago though so don’t let it bother you much. Clitoral stimulation is still your best bet if you want to have an orgasm.  

Stimulating the clitoris

The clitoris contains nearly 8,000 nerve endings, much more than any other part in your body. This accumulation of nerve endings is what makes it so sensitive and able to provide a strong orgasm. Here are a few tips on stimulating it: 1. Building it up:  It’s not just about stimulating the clitoris until you orgasm. You also achieve stronger orgasms or even multiple orgasms with the help of this little nub. Pause for a few seconds when you feel extremely aroused, start back up when you feel like you can handle it. It’s not a race, it’s you exploring your body and understanding the extent of its capabilities. 2. Types of touch:  There are many types of touch you can use and once you try them, you’ll know which ones you’d like to experience in the future. Start with gentle caresses, rubbing the clitoris in circles or an up-down motion with the pad of your fingers. Next, try tapping it less gently and even pinching it lightly between your fingers. Experiment with different degrees of pressure. You can even press a vibrator to the area for more or a different kind of pleasure. Once you figure out what works for you, you’ll also be able to guide your partner better. 3. Mix and match:  Once you’ve found your clitoris, it doesn’t mean you disregard every other erogenous zone. Use a combination of techniques - stimulate your clitoris during vaginal or anal intercourse or while engaging in the nipple or anal play. Mix and match until you find the perfect blend.   Remember, even if you can’t see your clitoris, it’s there somewhere. Caress and stimulate the general area and keep exploring to reach new heights of pleasure.   This is the fourth article in a series on International Women’s Day 2020. For more information, read our articles on   Women’s Health_._ Health articles in Firstpost are written by myUpchar.com, India’s first and biggest resource for verified medical information. At myUpchar, researchers and journalists work with doctors to bring you information on all things health.