Everything you wanted to know about having sex after pregnancy

You’ve finally brought your little bundle of joy home, and now you and your partner are starting a new chapter of your lives. Being new parents is bound to take a toll on your sleep pattern and lifestyle, but the one thing it affects the most is your sex life.   [caption id=“attachment_7778591” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  Representational image. Image source: Getty Images.[/caption] Whether you chose to be sexually active during your pregnancy or not, after delivery is usually the moment when the realisation dawns that you probably haven’t been intimate with each other in a while. What makes resuming sexual activity for women difficult is the fact that their bodies go through a lot during pregnancy, delivery and even after it. She’s lactating, her entire system is still healing, and the rise and fall in hormone levels might just leave her in no mood for a romp in the bedroom. Going through all these things after pregnancy is quite normal, and yet, not often addressed in conversations around postnatal care. A study, published in the Annals of Medical and Health Sciences Research in 2014, reveals how many women face sexual problems — including dyspareunia, vaginal dryness, vaginal discharge and loss of sexual desire — after pregnancy, but are unable to discuss their issues openly. This can negatively affect their social, physical, psychological and emotional well-being too.

Why wait and for how long?

A lot of women also feel the pressure of resuming sexual activity soon after giving birth. This, according to a study in Reproductive Health in 2015, can often be dictated by the need to keep new fathers from feeling deprived of love at home or to make sure they don’t stray away from their wives.   Now, you should understand that while sexual intimacy is important, it’s more vital to allow a woman’s body to heal after pregnancy. If she delivered her baby vaginally, she might have had vaginal tearing and soreness. Whether she had a vaginal delivery or a cesarean one, she’s going to feel fatigued, emotional, and her body is going to be getting rid of the lochia (vaginal discharge of blood, mucus, uterine tissue, etc) for four to six weeks.   Sex might be the last thing on a woman’s mind, and so, patience is key. Sex is about pleasure and intimacy, and you’re not going to be able to get either if you’re both uncomfortable and one of you is in pain. And this is the reason why most doctors recommend women to wait for at least six weeks before resuming sexual activity. If you’ve gone through a surgery to repair vaginal tearing, you’ll need to wait even longer.

Tips to improve intimacy after pregnancy

But just because you can’t have sex for at least six weeks doesn’t mean that you can’t be intimate. On the contrary, treat this period of waiting as a fresh courtship phase and slowly build-up to the moment when you’re finally ready to have sex. The following tips will come in handy:

• Even though you have a baby to look after now, make sure you spend a lot of time together.
• Talk about your new life and new expectations from it. Intimate conversations will help rebuild the foundation for physical love and sex.
• Bring back the romance with flowers, little gifts, letters or cards. They might sound cliche, but they’ll definitely make you feel younger and more adventurous.
• It might be difficult to manage with time constraints, but do look after yourself. Eat well, get as much sleep as you can get and maintain personal hygiene. Don’t let your hygiene put a damper on your sex life.
• Increase physical interactions and discover each other’s bodies anew. Start with simple things like holding hands, cuddling, massaging and kissing, and slowly amp it up by getting playful.

Tips to resume sex after pregnancy

Once the new mother has fully healed and the new parents have settled into their new routine, you may feel ready to resume sex. Don’t rush into it after the six weeks are up, and follow these tips instead:

• Talk about lubrication and contraception. Breastfeeding leads to vaginal dryness and can make sex less enjoyable and even painful. And you do want to have a gap between your pregnancies, so using contraception is important.
• Instead of going for a quickie, set a time and place for sex. You might not stand a chance for such spontaneity with a new baby in the house anyways so make a date for sex so you don’t get disturbed.
• Increase foreplay to naturally increase lubrication. Try mutual masturbation and other sensual activities before engaging in penetrative sex.  
• Talk after sex, because it won’t have been the same as before pregnancy and you need to discuss the changes to improve your sex life going ahead.

For more information, read our article on   Sex After Pregnancy_._ Health articles in Firstpost are written by myUpchar.com, India’s first and biggest resource for verified medical information. At myUpchar, researchers and journalists work with doctors to bring you information on all things health.