What is breadcrumbing, the new entrant in modern dating scene?

In modern dating scene, wavering commitment for someone looking for an authentic relationship can be a painful experience. At some point, this might even make them give up on love. The damaging tactic known as “breadcrumbing” has become quite common these days. Let’s take a closer look. A new entry in modern dating parlance According to Dr Monica Vermani, a Canada-based clinical psychologist, who spoke with CNN, breadcrumbing is a form of manipulation – whether intentional or not – involving one person “feigning interest and acting as though they feel sincerely interested and invested in a relationship with another person when they are not.” In simple terms, it is an act of sending out flirtatious but non-committal, social signals to lure a romantic partner in without much effort. The emotionally manipulative tactic also has famous cousins like ghosting, gaslighting, and situationships. The psychology behind breadcrumbing The person who intentionally misleads others may have desire for attention, validation or control, and in some cases, for fun without being committed. Others may just be conflicted about what they want or have a fear of commitment and confrontation. Dr Kelly Campbell, a professor of psychology at California State University, believes the reason someone stays in perpetrator’s corner is due to principle of “intermittent reinforcement,” which drives the addictive cycle and success of gambling behaviour. Dr Campbell explained to CNN, “With a slot machine, every so often there’s a little winning, so you keep playing in hopes of achieving that again, whereas if you never won, you wouldn’t keep playing.” People with low self-esteem or some mental health issues like depression, anxiety or eating disorders, can be vulnerable to this kind of emotional manipulation, according to Cleveland Clinic. Red flags Unfortunately, a lot of individuals frequently don’t realise they’re being breadcrumbed until after they’ve been harmed and misled.. Here are the signs to watch out for when dating to prevent this from happening. The person you are interested in is not as committed to the relationship as you are. “(Breadcrumbers) make plans with you but cancel or don’t show up, and they seem too busy for you. They might even go absent for periods of time,” Campbell told Brides.com. You’re never sure where you stand in their eyes. Breadcrumbers “are sporadic, inconsistent, and unpredictable in their expression of interest” in you. They initially appear friendly, but eventually become aloof. Taking a long time to respond to messages is one such example of this behaviour. Their actions are beyond comprehension or explanation. You often feel confused, angry, frustrated or inadequate and hopeless after interacting with them Ways to tackle it Acknowledge that you are being breadcrumbed. Setting boundaries and understand what you are willing to tolerate is important. If your needs are not being met, be prepared to walk away. Speak to your loved ones, friends, family or a therapist who can offer emotional support and guidance. Keeping the options open by not putting all “emotional” eggs in one basket.