Happily Divorced: What are grey divorces on the rise in the US?

Over the past few years, there has been a steady decline in the divorce rate in the United States. But the number of elderly Americans living alone is growing. The term “grey divorce” refers to the recent trend of increasingly long-lasting  marriages  ending. In the US, there were around 16 million adults 65 and older who lived alone in 2022, which is three times more than there were in the 1960s, according to CNN. This figure is anticipated to increase as Baby Boomers age, generating serious concerns about the future of the nation. So, what exactly is grey divorce? Let’s take a closer look. Also read: Couples that sleep apart stay together? Sleep divorce, the new social media trend, explained All about grey divorce Grey divorces are those that involve spouses who are older than 50 and have been married for quite a long time, according to highswartz.com. Most older couples choose to divorce for a variety of reasons, including that the marriage is no longer working, that one or both partners feel the need for financial independence, or that there is no longer any chemistry or willingness to share responsibility. Krista Jordan, PhD, a couples therapist in Austin, Texas told the sexual health platform Giddy, “When there is a grey divorce, usually the couple has had dissatisfaction in the marriage for many years. Careers and children are convenient distractions from the marital issues, and by focusing on these things, partners limp along in a relationship that is actually not viable long-term.” The US Census Bureau reports that the divorce rate for people over 50 has nearly doubled over the last three decades. According to a survey, more than half (54 per cent) of Americans who filed for divorce in 2020 were over 50, which is twice the rate of any other age group. When they initially discovered the tendency, experts were taken aback. In an interview with CNN, Susan L. Brown, co-director of the National Centre for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University, said, “We were just floored by our findings.” About ten years have passed since Brown’s research made the term “grey divorce” prominent; it was previously uncommon but is now far more prevalent. The revolution In the US, the divorce rate for those over 50 doubled between 1990 and 2010, The Washington Post cited research by sociologists Brown and I-Fen Lin. They came up with the term “the grey divorce revolution.” For everyone, from celebrities to regular people, the trend is still going strong. Most recently, Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau (51), and his wife Sophie Gregoire (48) announced separation. Last year, Bollywood actor Aamir Khan and his producer/director wife Kiran Rao divorced after 15 years of marriage. After 27 years of marriage, Bill (67) and Melinda Gates (58), a millionaire couple, announced their divorce in 2021. Director Priyadarshan (66) and his actor wife Lissy, 56, divorced in 2016. The divorce rate is still increasing among those over 65. CNN quoted Brown as saying, “This means more and more people will likely be ageing alone and without marriage, without a doubt.” Over 50 per cent of people end up living alone in the initial years following a grey divorce, claims Brown. Also read: What is ‘no-fault’ divorce? Why are US conservatives against it? Causes A divorce is a difficult process. Grey divorces have increased as a result of shifting societal attitudes, despite the fact that marriage is an institution that ties two people together for the rest of their lives. This shift has a number of causes, including the economic advantages women had when they entered the workforce and shifting perspectives on marriage. Jaclyn Gullotta, PhD, a licensed mental health counsellor and a qualified mental health supervisor in the Orlando area told Giddy, “Grey divorces may happen when people have more time to think about what they want in life. Self-reflection may become more of a priority once people find themselves less busy with their careers ad taking care of a family. With this, each person may realise they have less in common than desired for their relationship.” Houston-based divorce attorney Susan Myres claims that some older individuals file for divorce because they have drifted too far apart from their spouses, while others do so because they have experienced abuse or learned disturbing secrets about their partners. According to CNN, Myres prefers using the term “silver splitters” rather than “grey divorces” since it also hints at the benefit of starting again regardless of age. Intensifying trend The percentage of seniors living alone in recent years has remained largely stable. It is circling about its present value of 28 per cent. However, due to the size of the Baby Boomer group, which comprises individuals between the ages of 50 and 77, the overall number of elderly persons living alone is rising and is anticipated to continue doing so. Experts believe that if more isn’t done to improve social services, this might have a big impact on communities all over the nation. Markus Schafer, a sociology associate professor at Baylor University who specialises in ageing and health, refers to it as a “two-sided phenomenon.” “A lot of people really find it appealing to have autonomy – to not have daily squabbles over how the dishwasher gets loaded or where the toothbrush goes. On the other hand… consistently research finds that even though a lot of people fare well living alone, people who live alone report higher levels of loneliness across the board, and it’s definitely more pronounced later in life,” CNN quoted him as saying. The concern Researchers and campaigners are working to find solutions to aid ageing people living alone before it’s too late, because of the well-established and significant health implications linked to loneliness and social isolation. “There’s a lot of innovation and startup money for robo-companionship – things like robotic dogs, the metaverse and artificial intelligence. This is really taking off in Japan. They’re kind of showing us what the future of ageing may look like here,” Schafer said. According to Jennifer Molinsky, director of the Housing and Ageing Society at Harvard University’s Joint Centre for Housing Studies, the future of ageing in the US will undoubtedly see millions of people living alone. By 2038, the number of single-person households led by persons over 75 is expected to top 14 million, according to projections from the centre. As Baby Boomers age, this figure is expected to rise dramatically in the following years. With inputs from agencies