Dead set on marriage: What is China’s ‘ghost wedding’ tradition of marrying the dead?

Marriage is traditionally seen as a union between two individuals. But have you ever wondered if both need to be alive?

It appears the phrase “till death do us part” does not apply to certain customs.

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One such example is the ancient Chinese practice of ‘ ghost marriages ’. This ancient tradition, which dates back nearly 3,000 years, centres around marrying the deceased.

Yes, you read that correctly.

As the name suggests, it is about forming a marriage with someone who has passed away.

In this report, we explore what ghost weddings are, why they continue in parts of China, how these unions are arranged, and whether similar customs exist beyond China’s borders.

What are ghost marriages?

A tradition that stretches back nearly 3,000 years, ghost weddings are an ancient Chinese custom in which a deceased person is “married” either to another dead individual or, in rare instances, to someone still living.

Initially, the practice was limited to the dead, where the living would arrange a symbolic union between two unmarried deceased people. However, in more recent times, some cases have included a living person marrying the deceased.

In ceremonies involving two deceased individuals, the “bride’s” family often expects a bride price. A dowry is also provided, typically made up of symbolic items such as paper replicas of jewellery, household staff, and a home.

Much like traditional weddings, factors such as age and family status remain important. Families often seek out feng shui masters to act as matchmakers for the pairing.

The wedding itself usually includes a banquet and the presence of funeral plaques representing the bride and groom. One key ritual involves digging up the bride’s bones and reinterring them in the groom’s grave.

This custom is particularly common in northern Chinese provinces like Shanxi, Shandong and Hebei.

In these areas, ghost marriages tend to fall into two categories.

One includes couples who died before marrying or shortly after becoming engaged. Out of affection and grief, their families hold a wedding ceremony and lay them to rest together, South China Morning Post reported.

The other involves individuals who never met or were promised to each other in life. In such cases, a matchmaker arranges the union posthumously.

Why do ghost marriages take place?

Now to the part you likely clicked in for. The reason behind ghost marriages might come as a surprise.

Those who uphold the tradition believe it spares the unmarried dead from a lonely afterlife.

Among older generations in China, there is a belief that individuals who die without achieving life’s milestones, such as marriage, may not find peace and could return to trouble the living.

The practice is also deeply rooted in China’s ancient patriarchal values, where marriage is seen as essential to carrying on the family line, according to SCMP.

Moreover, Chinese folklore expert Huang Jingchun explains that these marriages continue to meet the emotional needs of those still alive.

“Whether it is out of longing and compensation for the deceased or for their own interests, the ones who truly seek comfort and relief from anxiety are the living,” Huang told the Chinese digital media outlet, The Paper.

How are such weddings arranged?

The ritual usually starts with the family of the deceased turning to a Feng Shui master to help find a suitable match.

Parents look for an ideal partner for their late child, asking about the other person’s age, background, occupation, and even requesting photos.

A wedding ceremony is then arranged, after which the bodies are dug up and reburied together in a shared grave.

In certain instances, one person in the marriage is still alive.

Here, the living individual takes part in a traditional wedding ceremony, with the deceased represented by a photograph and their clothing.

Though illegal, these marriages continue discreetly, driven by long-standing cultural beliefs. To outsiders, ghost marriages might appear unsettling, but for some families, they remain a way to uphold spiritual harmony and honour bonds beyond death.

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Do ‘ghost weddings’ happen in other places?

Most ghost marriage cases are reported in northern and central China, especially in provinces like Shanxi, Shaanxi, and Henan.

Szeto Fat-ching, a feng shui master from Hong Kong, told BBC that this age-old custom still survives in Chinese communities across South East Asia.

In Taiwan, if an unmarried woman dies, her family may place red packets with cash, paper money, a lock of hair, and a fingernail in public. The first man to pick up the packets becomes the groom, and turning down the ghost bride is believed to bring bad luck.

Wedding rituals follow traditional customs, but unlike mainland China, no exhumations take place. While the groom may later marry someone alive, he is expected to treat his late wife as the primary spouse.

In Malaysia last year, a ghost marriage was arranged by the parents of Yang Jingshan, 31, and Lee Xueying, 32, after the couple died in a car accident. They had been in a relationship for three years and were planning to marry.

Jingshan had intended to propose during a trip to Bangkok on June 2 last year. But on May 24, the couple’s car overturned on a road in Perak, northwestern Malaysia. Neither survived, South China Morning Post reported.