Week 2 on Bigg Boss: Of love, nervous breakdowns, clean toilets and muscles

The good thing about Bigg Boss is that whatever season it may be, it stays as ludicrous as ever. And like a car crash, you keep watching it. Because you can’t seem to believe that people would agree to behave like this on camera. I have some favourite moments from this week. First, Rajat Rawail, Kamya Punjabi, Kushal Tandon, Pratyusha Banerjee and Gauhar Khan are the ones nominated for eviction this week. Just so you know who’s who: Kushal and Gauhar are the love birds, Pratyusha is the peroxide borderline blonde, Kamya is the catty one from Jahannum and Rajat Rawail is Bigg Boss’s own personal Goodyear blimp. My favourite sentence of the week was from the wrestler, Sangram Singh. Rajat Rawail — who can’t sleep lying down flat because he’s so overweight that he might asphyxiate and who can’t do any work because he gets exhausted — had a mini-breakdown. What we in common parlance call an anxiety attack. He cried, wept, panted, whined and basically made a snivelling mess of himself. Why someone so unfit would join a show like Bigg Boss is anyone’s guess. Ah the things we do for love, money and fame. Sangram summed up the entire fiasco in one line: “Hamara haathi paagal ho gaya.” (“Our elephant’s gone mad.”) Cruel, but true. [caption id=“attachment_1139381” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  Rajat Rawail. Courtesy: Colors[/caption] The Bigg Boss producers also finally got their much-needed romance quotient for the show. The pretty people on the programme gravitated towards each other and so we’ve seen lots of the Gauhar and Kushal romance, i.e. hand-holding, sulking, bonding in the loo. Also, this week Tanisha Mukherjee let it be known that even if she can’t act, she can delegate and be a very good housekeeper. I have never heard someone describe how to clean a toilet commode in as detailed a manner as Tanisha did. Take Lizol, put it on toilet paper, wipe the seat, pick up the seat, wipe under it, wipe the bowl of the toilet, wipe the top of the commode, then lick the entire bowl clean… you get my drift. Or how to hold a broom while sweeping. I, for one, feel that Uday Chopra really let a good thing go. What spotless toilets and rooms Yash Raj studios would have if she was the bahu. And then came the wild card entry into the house: Asif Azim, a Bangladeshi model. Going by the size of his muscles, it looks like he’s eaten up all the food in Bangladesh. My favourite moment was when the Wishing Wall – where contestants can go and wish for anything from Bigg Boss and one wish will be fulfilled – was opened. While Kushal played to TRPs and wished for Gauhar, Asif wished for what any self-respecting Bong would. FIVE whole kilos of rui fish. Because you can take a Bengali out of Bangladesh, but you can’t take the Bengali out of him. So maachh bhaat time it is. It was also nice to be informed by Anita Advani that she prefers lean men, a nugget delivered while she gave Asif the once over. He looked a little nervous when she said she liked his body. And in case the memory of Neal ‘n Nikki had vanished from our memories, Tanisha reminded us of the horror of it all when she said that she liked her men beefy and muscular. Okay then. So what is Oracle Sen’s prediction for this week’s ouster? I say Rajat Rawail or the very irritating Pratyusha will be out. Kamya will stay because she’s the show bitch and adds the snark to it. Kushal and Gauhar have added the romance, so they can’t be chucked. Rajat does prop up the TRPs and there’s nothing like waiting for a live breakdown on TV. Pratyusha is just painful and that hair colour is really getting to me. So it might just be off with her head.