Un-Saif at all times: Say hello to the upper-crust Dada

by Lakshmi Chaudhry and Sandip Roy

“People assume that just because you are a film star, you are a spoilt brat…I feel like I have been aggressed upon (sic),” said Saif Ali Khan , complaining about unfair presumption of guilt in the media. And he probably has a point. The rich and powerful in India have a long and colourful record of behaving like roadside goondas. Movie stars may generate more headlines, but they’re no worse than the spawn of industrialists and politicians who consider it their birthright to beat up all those who offend – usually with the aid of a well-muscled bodyguard.

But Saif’s problem isn’t that he is a Bollywood hero but that he is the Chhote Nawab, albeit in name only. Both Saif and his mother have leveraged their Pataudi name to promote an image of genteel refinement, and position themselves as the first among equals in a industry defined by arriviste aspiration. In an interview posted on his website,  Saif describes the nawabs in his famly as “great gentlemen and very polite people and fantastic sportsmen,” adding that “the Nawabs and Begums of Bhopal and Pataudi have been the most honourable of men and women, and frightening to live upto. My father’s the first generation in the family to have a had a drink. But he’s a prince among men and highly respected. He’s not one to be making noise in a bar.”

Or beating someone up in a restaurant, either. The poor man’s been hoisted on his own royal petard. For all his protestations about lineage, it is clear that beta Saif remains a wee bit confused about what constitutes “gentlemanly behaviour”.

“I could have reacted differently. I could have been a little more Gandhian in my approach. But I’m afraid I reacted in a way any gentleman would have reacted,” he says , “But I’m not proud of what happened. It could have been handled differently. I should have set a better example. I’m sorry that I reacted this way.”

Hmm, so he wasn’t Gandhian because he was being a gentleman. But he is not proud of acting like a gentleman, and should have set a better example? This would have involved emulating Gandhi, we presume. Ah, what a tangled web we weave…

Saif’s other problem is that the Wasabi brawl is not the first such allegation of unsportsmanlike conduct. Over the years, the blue-blooded prince has felt the need every now and then to display his red-blooded mardangi.

In 2008, Saif was booked for allegedly assaulting a photojournalist in Patiala. Before that, a bunch of blackbucks in Rajasthan were on the receiving end of his machismo. Earlier still, he and his then-wife Amrita Singh beat up some chap for writing about an affair between her and an unnamed actor. That’s our Saif: ever ready to defend the honour of the ladies.

Back in 1995, Saif punched journalist Ashok Row Kavi in another fit of chivalry. And he actually went to Row Kavi’s house to do the honours. This time around, he was defending mommy’s izzat. Row Kavi’s crime was he’d mocked Sharmila Tagore’s acting chops and mimicked her clipped convent Hindi accent on television. Ironically in the heat of the moment, Saif not only punched Ashok Row Kavi but also shoved Row Kavi’s elderly mother to the floor when she tried to calm him down.

The geriatric theme repeated itself in the latest scuffle, as well, with Saif claiming that he was first punched in the eye by Iqbal Sharma’s 68-year old father-in-law, Ramanbhai Patel. He was therefore forced to retaliate against the old man. Patel’s  version  is no less colourful:

Subsequently, Khan realised that the situation had gone out of hand when he saw the senior citizen in pain. He apologised but Patel demanded an apology to his son-in-law too. Saif refused and walked out of the restaurant, screaming, “I have been brought up in a very cultured family.”

“That was unforgivable,” says Row Kavi of the attack on his mother. “What culture do these nawabs talk about? It’s mostly agriculture as far as I can see.”

According to Row Kavi, the real provocation was probably his review of Saif and Akshay’s buddy-movie Main Khiladi Tu Anadi in the gay magazine Bombay Dost. Titled ‘Saif Sex’, the article cheekily claimed that the two heroes in the film seemed to be so in love with each other that it ought to be India’s entry to the San Francisco Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. That didn’t go down well with the up and coming movie star who called Row Kavi and gave him an earful about it.

Row Kavi dragged Saif to court though it took a year to even serve a warrant on him. But eventually the young Pataudi apologised in open court.

But at that time, Chhote Nawab was still a chhota film star. Now that he’s hit the big time, it’s a different matter. Saif’s camp is already busy circulating their version of the story, which includes alleging that Iqbal Sharma was drunk and out-of-control.

It’s still a he said/he said story thus far. And Saif may well be exonerated by that still-unavailable CCTV footage. But while he’s waiting to be redeemed, we recommend he spend his time reading his own quotes. As, for instance, this little gem that counsels movie stars to “be professional, be courteous. Associate with whatever you should be associating with. Whether it’s a charity, or… do the right thing. Be a good son, a good father and a good boyfriend. And I think that will come through as a brand… You don’t have to be a prince to behave like one.”

Amen.