The Bollywood award show: This ain't no Oscars

On Sunday night when the nation sat down in front of their television screens to watch ‘India’s answer to the Oscars’ the question on their minds was not ‘Who will win the best picture this year?’ but closer to ‘Who will SRK and RK rip apart this year?’. They knew that the Filmfare will never disappoint them by throwing up a random Stanley Ka Dabba as Best Movie with Amol Gupte as the headline act. They knew that the academy will present them with top star cast movie thus giving them adequate eye candy as a reward for their patience. And they were not wrong. It may come as breaking news for today’s generation but awards in Bollywood once existed solely to honour good movies. As an online club of cinema lovers laments: ‘If you look at the winners of Filmfare two or three decades ago, you will be surprised to find names like Naseerudin Shah, Govind Nihalani, Shyam Benegal over there. The reason why Amitabh Bachchan won so few Filmfares when he reigned over the box office was because meaningful cinema was given more importance those days.” And then television happened. Somewhere in India one sharp television producer stood up in a crowded conference room and told the award guys: “Look here now, if you can get us some great stars, big performances and some dirty jokes, we can get you a deal. Otherwise, take your jholas and go home." So here’s what the award guys did: they abandoned their cinema loving audience and went chasing hard-as-nails general entertainment audience. They are the guys who give the TRP’s. The guys who ensure the paan-masala sponsors. The guys who think Stanley Ka Dabba is the name of a local eatery. Suddenly, the paradigm shifted. Attendance was swapped for awards, big bucks were given for big acts, A-listers became stand up comics in drag outfits, Madhuri was roped in for dhak dhak, Rekha for her kanjeevarams and the whole proceeding was tinged with ribald humor and cloying sentimentality over the dead superstars. [caption id=“attachment_225290” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“Attendance at many of these ceremonies is now swapped for awards and big bucks given for big acts. Reuters”]  [/caption] The script guys came in to deliver dialogue that met the brief ‘be witty, crack jokes at stars but for God’s sake don’t piss them off’ and then edit stepped in to copy paste a stray smile from an otherwise comatose star across the entire length of the show to ‘animate’ it. The final masala touches were delivered by the camera guys who moonlight as gossip columnists as they unfailing pan on Rekha when Amitabh goes on stage and now bestow that dubious honor on Priyanka when SRK is up. And hey presto! A money spinner was born. Credibility took a step back and entertainment took a step forward as Zee Cine Awards, Max Stardust Awards and Colors Screen Awards and the globe trotting IIFA came in for their share of the spoils. The result is a thoroughly vacuous, eerily similar and immensely entertaining media property that’s worth crores. And if you’re still crying about Stanley Ka Dabba have heart, the Critics Award did honour Amol Gupte. For a whole 7 seconds at least. Having said that, there is no shame in succumbing to what the majority of the nation clearly seems to want. My submission is only let’s not call any of them ‘India’s answer to the Oscars’. Now that would be a shame.