Splitsvilla episode 6 wrap: Kiss, tell and wail

The sixth episode of Splitsvilla 7 was probably designed to repose faith in things like love, romance etc (basically all that may have got obscured by the fake eyelashes, bared biceps and the assaults to intelligence that pass as conversation between contestants). “Maine in logon ko smooch karte hue dekha (I saw them smooch),” screeched Jacqueline, on being sent off to the ‘“dumping ground”. The ’them’ in question is a boy called Aswhini and a girl called Sanjana. To back Jacqueline’s ‘allegation’ (c’mon, the girl at least gets the bharatiya dating show memo right), the show flashed footage of the boy planting a kiss on the girl’s lips so briefly that it would seem he was asked to kiss an uncooked pomfret. However, that was enough to outrage Apurva and Jacqueline, the two contestants in the dumping ground. As the couple on spotlight simpered, the contestants looked shocked. Nikhil Chinapa descended upon the Splitsvilla universe of absurd as the voice of reason and pointed out that the ‘accused’ are two adults in a dating show and if they want to kiss, it’s not shocking. [caption id=“attachment_1627713” align=“alignleft” width=“380”] A scene from the 6th episode of Splitsvilla.[/caption] Finally, Aswhini and Sanjana left the show, possibly because there’s no point of staying in Splitsvilla if you’re turning into a normal human being with normal desires in life. Net result: all the candidates for being dumped are packed off to spend a sleepless night fretting about their future in Splitsvilla. With a consolation. Rishabh, who coincidentally either lives in the era of Khilad_i films or has had an unfortunately scarring Bollywood watching past, gets to save one girl. To plead their case, Scarlet and Savita approach Rishabh while the others go try their luck with the ‘king’ (Shravan). Incidentally, Rishabh is the same guy whose pearls of wisdom would make the Kardashian sisters sound sensible and Sadhashiv Amprapurkar proud of every dialogue he as spoken as a villain in his career. “In logon ki badkismati yeh hai, ki yeh mere dushman hai (It’s their bad luck that they are my enemies),” he had declared valiantly. Now he gets to be legitimately mean to someone and guess who walks right into his bad dialoguebaazi trap? A girl called Scarlet. In case you need a reminder to figure out who Scarlett is, let’s rewind to what happened earlier in the episode. Lover-boy Ashwini was initially besotted by Scarlet, but quickly moved on to Sanjana. However, in the great Veer Zara tradition of our Indian romances, Scarlett wasn’t ready to give up and threatened to leave the show with Ashwini and his new girl. This made other contestants shriek, shout and shudder; Sunny Leone stopped smiling (the horror!) and eventually, Scarlet was cajoled into staying back. She is also the one who had once banished Rishabh from the villa and now, she has to go back to him to ask for his help. They meet in a pool where Rishabh tells her off. This may or may not be better than what Rishabh has in store for Savita. Before she enters the pool, to join Rishabh, he asks her to “do something cool”. She does what we presume is a dance (because, you know, it’s not cool to come across as sane in Splitsvilla)._  Elsewhere, king Shravan learns from Heena that she had hired male strippers for a friend’s bachelorette party and the king is very amused by this. Rishabh ultimately saves Savita, thus showing dance is a survival skill in Splitsvilla.  But all is not lost for Scarlet because Ayaz saves her. Except to save Scarlet, Ayaz has to consign one of the  previously-safe girls into the dumping ground. That hapless soul turns out to be Pooja. This is a tragedy for bodybuilder Mayank, who likes her. On the other hand, Ayaz, who wears big red specs like he is a Cartoon Network themed birthday party, is having a pretty good day. He asks the saved girl Scarlet for a kiss on his cheek, which he gets. Like a dutifully idiotic contestant of the show, he doesn’t wipe the mark off. We suspect he later takes a selfie and saves it for Facebook posterity. Meanwhile, Mayank isn’t happy. He howls first at Ayaz (for throwing Pooja out into danger zone), then almost threatens to beat up king Shravan when he decides time’s up for Pooja and stripper-hirer Heena. Bottomline: so far, no inhabitant has threatened to show any sign of an evil called intelligence. Hence, all’s well in the world of Splitsvilla.