Splitsvilla 7 wrap up: Taking love to a bloody new level

If you’ve never watched a reality TV show, you must note that the word ‘task’ holds a completely different meaning in this tele-verse. If you thought it means something constructive, you’re wrong. Tasks on reality tv, especially in case of shows about girls competing with one another to find ’true love’, are all about pushing the limits of sanity and stupidity.

In the second episode of Splitsvilla Season 7, we have the seven girls who’ve got ‘black roses’ from the boys trying to fight it out with the girls who are safe. The girls who will survive in the show are those who would successfully complete tasks assigned to them by Sunny Leone. The boys are the judges.

It’s safe to say that on this episode when it came to dressing, Sunny Leone was the best dressed. Not that she has much competition. One of the boys on the show (Ayaz Ahmed) decided to dress like he’s half waiter, half surfer and all wrong. Someone tell this dude that a bow tie doesn’t go with shorts.

As for the tasks, it’s the usual humdrum stuff that you know very well if you’ve watched too much Splitsvilla. Do a sexy dance, show how hot (in terms of sex appeal, not temperature) you are using the available props, talk to the boys and win their votes. One contestant picked a sword and proved that thrusting can be seriously unsexy. Sadly she won. One rightfully lost out because she couldn’t remember all the boys’ names.

In case, you felt you weren’t getting enough insight into the psychological dynamics of the men and women engaged in Splitsvilla’s tasks, the contestants provided wise and insightful commentary on how their fellow show participants performed their tasks. “Uska dance ekdum okay types tha.” “She really poured her heart out.” “Mujhe woh genuine nahi laga.” We’d feel worse about giggling at their accents if the show wasn’t all about being superficial.

The one task that stood out in Saturday’s episode was two of the girls were asked to pick one boy with whom they think they have a “connection”. Then to “test that connection”, the girls are asked to draw blood from the boys’ hands using their nails. Needless to say, once this task was completed, the men were not pleased. It’s also the only point in the show when you might feel something akin to sympathy for the boys, who keep trying to look smouldering hot all the time but fail miserably.

So the lesson learnt from this episode: Ladies if you’ve never drawn blood from your man’s skin, it ain’t true love.

Splitsvilla airs on on Saturday 7 PM on MTV

Disclaimer: Splitsvilla airs on MTV India, which is part of Viacom 18, a joint venture between Network 18 India and Viacom Inc. Firstpost is published by the Network 18 Group.