Splitsvilla 7 wrap-up: Battle for Queen's title is an oily mess

Behold, it is time in Splitsvilla to decide who will be the next Queen. Khushi has been holding on to the title for sometime now but the battle raged in episode nine and reminded us all over again that everything in this show depends on the director’s whimsy. More on that later. The plot was simple: the girls had to convince one boy to nominate them in the competition and the two girls who didn’t manage a nomination wouldn’t be able to compete. Of course, ‘moti’ Jacqueline was not nominated by anyone, but surprisingly, Apoorva, who’s been abusing pretty much everyone in the villa, convinced Mayank Pawar to nominate her. Interestingly, Scarlett got Abhishek to nominate her even though Abhishek has been going on about Dana’s hotness. He didn’t choose Dana because Dana didn’t come up and ask him for his voet. As Abhishek points out, the objective of the task is to make the girls must beg. Just being hot isn’t enough. So lower your pride chickas, hotness alone won’t do the trick. Dana, predictably, was quite upset, given both Mr Asia (Mayank Pawar) and Abhishek have dumped her. We can’t help but notice her make up is more fit for a vampire-themed show (the whiteness is unnatural even for a Caucasian girl). So which girls would finally compete? First, there was an annoying competition in which the girls hid behind a facade with only their feet showing. The boys had to correctly identify the feet of the girl they’d nominated. Otherwise she’d be out of the running. Surprisingly, the boys managed. We wonder if they’ve all been giving foot massages to their chosen ladies. Tragedy struck Scarlett who was told she can’t compete. Why? Because Abhishek, who nominated her, is being penalised for stealing the Queen’s dress. (Remember Nikhil had warned him that there would be consequences for breaking the holy Splitsvilla protocol? Et voila.) We have to side with Scarlett on this issue, though. Why make her her pay for Abhishek’s sins? The upshot of all this was that Dana took Scarlett’s place. [caption id=“attachment_1659025” align=“alignleft” width=“380”] Screenshot from the Episode.[/caption] Then, just when you think this annoying game must be over, the director decided to add another unwanted twist. The two girls who weren’t chosen – aka Scarlett and Jacqueline – would be choose one contender out of the remaining four. So then why have the damned foot-fetish competition? Obviously Jacqueline wanted to nominate friend Apoorva, but Scarlett wanted Priyanka. For some reason, Mayank Gandhi thought his girl Rashi should also be in the running. Needless to say, there was no consensus. In the middle of all this, Ayaz and Mayank Gandhi had a “You want a piece of me bro?” moment because Ayaz said Priyanka should be queen because she is his princess.  Ok, then. The director then decided to add another twist. Since Scarlett and Jacqueline couldn’t agree on one name, banished boy Rhishabh got to decide who will compete. Why, kyun, kaihe ko? Ask the director. Rhishabh returned like an evil banished prince with his sher dialogue and picked … Apoorva. Why, kyun, kaihe ko? Probably to continue with the theme of unwanted twists. So finally Khushi and Apoorva were the chosen competitors, but they had to choose partners. Mr Asia couldn’t compete with Apoorva because of his broken arm, so Apoorva picked Rhishabh. Do note this guy is supposed to be banished and technically not a part of the show, yet he’s the one taking a whole bunch of critically important decisions. Clearly, “banished” has a very different meaning in Splitsvilla. The task that lead the Queen to her crown was called “Fairy-tel” (tel as in oil). The crown was in a box, the keys were in the air and the girls (Apoorva and Khushi) had to climb in to get it. Before that, they had to get past the boys who were hanging around with a bucket of oil on their heads. The girls needed to climb over the boys to get to the keys. If they wanted to make things difficult for their opponent, they could pull a rope to empty the bucket of oil on the head of the opponent’s boy. It’s all very messy and oily, and the pakora references from Khushi and Abhishek don’t help. Sadly for Apoorva, Rhishabh gave up mid-way because he complained the harness was choking him. So Khushi is still Queen, which basically means all this action had precisely zero reaction. Next episode, one of the boys will be banished. Oh joy. Splitsvilla airs on on Saturday 7 PM on MTV Disclaimer: Splitsvilla airs on MTV India, which is part of Viacom 18, a joint venture between Network 18 India and Viacom Inc. Firstpost is published by the Network 18 Group.