Oscars 2014: Why it's no better than the Filmfare Awards

I hate the Oscars. I passionately hate the Oscars. It’s not because every year, tweets about it clog up my Twitter timeline with unfunny jokes and overenthusiastic people live tweeting the ceremony as if every update is breaking news. It’s not because they turned Jennifer Lawrence into a star and made the whole internet fall in love with her much later than I did. It’s not because of the heartbreak of the (ahem) brilliant, masterful and life-changing The Good Road not being nominated. It’s because the Oscars doesn’t celebrate art, talent and creativity; it celebrates lobbying. And cable TV network ratings. The Oscars isn’t something unique. It’s just a show and it’s no better than the Filmfare Awards. It has been documented that some of the Oscar voters have not had anything to do with the movie industry for more than 30 years. That is why we see old fashioned, politically-correct films get nominated over newer, radical and challenging stuff. So don’t be a clueless elitist and tell me you watch only The Oscars but not desi award shows. And don’t tell me you prefer the Oscars because they’re not ‘fixed’. The Oscars are as fair as health care in North Korea, as impartial as gay rights in Russia, as transparent as Subrata Roy’s Swiss bank accounts and as sincere as Raza Murad in Mohra.  [caption id=“attachment_1416019” align=“alignleft” width=“380”] The Oscars isn’t something unique. It’s just a show and it’s no better than the Filmfare Awards. AFP[/caption] Don’t take my word for it. Julie Delpy agrees with me. She said of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences in a recent interview, “It’s 90 percent white men over 70 who need money because they haven’t done anything in a long time.” Joaquin Phoenix doesn’t even like attending the Oscars. He publicly loathes them and in return, the Academy didn’t nominate him for Her (presumably). I can almost hear the jury members huddling up and mumbling, “Yeah, that’ll show him up!” In addition to all this, here’s why I definitely won’t be watching this year’s Oscars: Adele Exarchopolous was not nominated for her role in Blue is the Warmest Color.  Her performance was so powerful that Spielberg made an exception for the Palme d’Or at Cannes Film Festival to ensure she shared the award. It was the first time in the history of the festival that an actress shared the award. But what do the French know? The Academy is clearly more knowledgeable about cinema. Brie Larson didn’t receive an acting nomination for Short Term 12. Larson’s performance as a foster care worker with a troubled past was incredible. The film itself is rated at 99% on the website Rotten Tomatoes, which follows the critical response a film gets, but of course what do film critics know? The Academy is the boss. Frances Ha was robbed of nominations. This brilliant little film directed by Noah Baumbach and written by Baumbach and Greta Gerwig is for everyone and anyone who would like to gain some perspective on their own lives through a film. Gerwig is fantastic as Frances, a young dancer in Brooklyn. Oh silly me, why would the Academy members need any perspective? Hugh Jackman was ignored. Jackman in Prisoners was one of the strongest male performances of last year. Granted, the race in this category is tight this time, but what was stopping the Academy from making an exception and including a sixth nomination slot? Pacific Rim was not nominated for visual effects. So Pacific Rim wasn’t spectacular enough for the Academy, but The Lone Ranger scored a nomination. I’m not an expert on 3D animation, but even a blind man can tell you that the critically acclaimed Pacific Rim had more eye-popping visuals, more complex graphics and better CGI artistry than the Disney flop. Inside Llewyn Davis was only nominated for cinematography.  The Coen brothers’ latest release is a moving, terrific film about artists struggling to catch their break and make ends meet. It’s about the tough choice an artist makes between a stable career and following his dream. By not nominating this film the Academy has roundly dissed those very artists, all the while posing as an organisation that honours fine art and artists. Too many good films didn’t get a look-in from the Oscars  Before Midnight was only nominated for its screenplay. But just one nomination for a film of its quality backs up Delpy’s remarks about the Academy. There are plenty of other incredible films like A Touch of Sin, Blackfish, TPB-AFK, Upstream Color and Tonerre that received zero nominations, but that could only be because the Academy hasn’t even heard of them. And expecting the Oscar voters to support the superb F1 film Rush is like expecting Suppandi to solve a differential equation. That orchestra The orchestra that gives Oscar winners their marching orders in the middle of their acceptance speeches is the most irritating thing ever. The most shameful example of this was seen last year when Life of Pi won the Oscar for best visual effects. The head of Rhythm and Hues, the company that designed the film’s special effects and had gone bankrupt just a few days before the Oscars, tried to make a statement, but the orchestra drowned him out. If this is the Oscars’ idea of celebrating and honouring cinema and artists, I’ll pass. All of the above could be forgiven if the Oscar show was actually fun. It’s not. It’s clichéd and boring. It’s followed the same template for the last fifty years. Celebrities walk the red carpet in ridiculous gowns; journos compliment them as if they’re wearing something made out of Unobtainium; the show’s host cracks mostly lame jokes at the expense of the stars attending the event; cameras cut to the stars for reaction shots – these are pre-decided and negotiated by the stars’ PRs. It’s the exact same show every year, often with the same faces. It’s not surprising that viewership has declined drastically over the past decade. So here’s my Oscar 2014 prediction: a bunch of entitled panjandrums will present the awards to a different bunch of entitled panjandrums.