NSA's theme to FB stalking: There's a RD Burman song for every occasion

He was precocious, eccentric and a livewire. As far as academics were concerned, he was a ghastly failure, but musically, Rahul Dev Burman was anything but a failure. As a boy, he learnt the sarod from Ustad Ali Akbar Khan and had composed his first song at the grand old age of nine. Barely bothered about minor details like a formal education, Burman quickly started working with his father, the legendary music director Sachin Dev Burman. Father and son had nothing in common as composers, but the two geniuses made a good team. However, the younger Burman, fondly known as Pancham, was too dazzling to play second fiddle for long. By 1961, he’d been offered his first job as a music director and a few years later, with Teesri Manzil, he delivered the first of many superhit soundtracks.

Perhaps it was his readiness to bring world music into the Bollywood soundtracks that kept people from acknowledging Burman’s dazzling brilliance for a long time. Add to that his flamboyant joie de vivre, and Burman seemed too carefree and child-like to be a bona fide genius. Yet even a cursory glance at his compositions shows Burman’s amazing versatility and talent for not just composition but also orchestral arrangement.

It’s been 20 years since RD Burman passed away, but the influence of his music upon Indian music in general and Bollywood soundtracks in particular is unmistakable. From Hindustani classical to disco, musically speaking, there was nothing that fazed Burman and there hasn’t been a music director who has impacted popular music as profoundly as Burman had.

Looking back at Burman’s career spanning 30-odd years, there’s a song for every occasion and many that are so beautiful that you don’t need a reason to listen to them on repeat. On his 75th birthday, here’s a reminder that no matter what the occasion or mood, RD Burman wrote a song that was perfect for that moment. Add your favourites in the comments.

Monsoon watch: Ghar Aaja Ghir Aaye (Chhote Nawab)

Once the clouds have gathered and that rain-laced breeze starts blowing, this is the song you need to have on your playlist. It sounds like a traditional, Hindustani classical raga-based song, except for those who can spot such things, there are traces of a number of ragas in the song, all of them blended beautifully to create something that’s new and yet respectful of tradition.

Pick-me-up: Sar Joh Tera Chakraye (Pyaasa)

For years, this song from Guru Dutt’s classic Pyaasa was credited to Sachin Dev Burman, who was the film’s music director. RD Burman had assisted his father on this project and this particular song was composed by Burman junior. Even though the song talks about the stresses of everyday life (and a head massage), it’s got a chirpiness that is guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.

Wake up call: Aao Twist Karein (Bhoot Bangla)

If you have this song as your alarm, there is no way you’ll ever sleep in. Between the trumpets and the ridiculously peppy beat, this song will have you twitching and, well, doing the twist within its first few bars. No better way to put a spring in your stride.

When you need to let your hair down: O Haseena Zulfonwaali (Teesri Manzil)

Mohammed Rafi and Asha Bhonsle were at their cabaret-best in this song, which begins with a crazy drum section and then finds room for everything from violins to electric guitars and xylophones. For those who like listening to lyrics, it’s one of those duets that’s got some lovely, sharp repartee. Plus, the video has a rather dashing Shammi Kapoor.

To annoy your Tamilian neighbour: Ek Chatur Naar (Padosan)

Padosan remains one of the most delightful comedies that’s ever come out of India and this song is the cherry on the comic cake. The duet between Kishore Kumar and Manna Dey is a hilarious medley and very low on the political correctness scale. Dey was the voice for Masterji, a Tamil music and dance teacher played by Mehmood. Masterji gets beaten unfair and square by Kumar over the course of many rounds of musical jousting. Guaranteed to make any proud Tamilian grind their teeth…before collapsing in giggles.

To set the, ahem, mood: Roop Tera Mastana (Aradhana)

Aradhana’s music is mostly by Sachin Dev Burman but he fell ill while working on the film and RD Burman stepped in to finish the project. One of the songs that the younger Burman composed was this scorchingly sexy number sung by Kishore Kumar, Burman’s favourite male singer. Roop Tera Mastana has been needlessly remixed by many contemporary DJs and artists, but do yourself (and your sex appeal) a favour — stick to the original. It needs no improvement.

Facebook/Twitter stalking your online crush: Pyar Deewana Hota Hai (Kati Patang)

In the original video, Rajesh Khanna and Asha Parekh make eyes at each other, but if you ignore that and listen to the lyrics, then you’ll realise there is no better soundtrack for those occasions when you kill time by indulging your infatuation. It’s peppy, the lyrics are self-aware of how utterly illogical crushes can be, and it imposes a time limit. Four minutes and 31 seconds at a time is about as long as you should waste on an internet crush.

Unleash your inner alcoholic poet: Chingari Koi Bhadke (Amar Prem)

It doesn’t matter if you’re feeling like the Energizer bunny, this melancholic song will slow you down and make you feel broody in the best possible way. Anand Bakshi’s lyrics aren’t isn’t sad enough to depress you but couched in Burman’s beautiful composition, it’s just wistful enough to make you pour yourself a drink and imagine yourself as a shayar.

When your date is late: Piya Tu Ab To Aaja (Caravan)

Hanging around and waiting for a date to show up will be something you look forward to if this song is there to keep you company. If your name is Monica, then you totally have to make your date holler “Monica! My darleeeng!” when they see you. Alternative use: try listening to this song while working out, with the “piya” in question being the weight you want to reach.

The NSA’s theme song: Jahan Teri Yeh Nazar Hai (Kaalia)

Here are the opening lyrics:

Hey! Jahaan teri yeh nazar hai Meri jaan mujhe khabar hai Bachna saka koi, aaye kitne Lambey hai mere, haath itne Dekh idhar yaar Dhyan kidhar hai?

(Paraphrased: “I’m well aware of everything that you’re looking at. No one’s slipped out of my reach, and many have tried. See how long the reach of my arms are! Look here, where’s your attention?”)

Enough said.

When you need to mope: Tujhse Naraaz Nahin Zindagi (Masoom)

There are times when you want to wallow in self pity because the world is a cruel, unfair place. This is the song for those occasions. Its lyrics are wistfully philosophical and the melody matches the lyrics in poignancy. There’s no effort to cheer you up, but what a beautiful sadness it offers the listener. As with many of Burman’s later works, you can’t help but imagine how much more powerful the song may have been in Kishore Kumar’s voice but Anup Ghosal does a respectable job here.

Insomniac’s motto: Phir Wohi Raat Hai (Ghar)

Never mind what the situation for the song was in the film, this song is the one you want in your ear when its 3 am and you’re lolling around in bed with sleep nowhere in the offing. Play it on loop and Kishore Kumar’s smooth baritone might just lullaby you into sweet dreams.

When the next politician is embroiled in a scandal: Yeh Ladka Hai Allah (Hum Kisise Kum Nahin)

You can’t behave like an ostrich and not listen to the news, so might as well give the news a peppy soundtrack. The lyrics are supposed to be romantic, but they work surprisingly well as a cautionary message to greedy, exposed politicians.

When your team fails in the FIFA World Cup: Golmaal Hai (Golmaal)

This is one of those versatile songs that can provide an upbeat commentary to anything that’s gone out of whack. Simple lyrics, fun effects and a lot of good cheer, Golmaal Hai could be the perfect song for a World Cup that has already seen favourites like Spain and Italy get kicked out of the competition.

First mover advantage: Bahon Mein Chalo Aao (Anamika)

Ladies (and gents), let’s face it. Sometimes, the significant other needs clear directives. This is the song for those moments. Directions don’t get much clearer than this and neither do songs get much sweeter. How Sanjeev Kumar resisted Jaya Bhaduri in the film is beyond us, but gentlemen, if a woman is playing this song for you, do not follow Kumar’s lead.