 "Jonas Brothers Family Roast: Priyanka Chopra tried, but she can't be as 'rollickingly raunchy' as others on the 'roaster'")
For reasons too obvious to state, Priyanka Chopra Jonas (now simply Priyanka on Instagram) got the maximum media coverage in India for Jonas Brothers Family Roast .
Priyanka, with a thick American accent, did a good job of jabbing the Jonas brothers, especially husband Nick, whom she called “Kevin Jonas’ baby brother.” She also went on to comment on why they are so compatible as a couple: they both love the same person: Nick Jonas.
Ha ha. As for rumours of their rift (just because Priyanka dropped Jonas from her name on Instagram), Priyanka clearly states at the Roast she has no intentions of breaking the marriage unless Chris Hemsworth shows up in her life. “We’re both totally, completely, wholly obsessed with Nick Jonas. We love Nick Jonas, both of us. He’s our favourite. I wouldn’t want to marry anyone else unless Chris Hemsworth suddenly became single."
She topped the Roast with a toast to her own stardom. “Have you noticed how much content the Jonas Brothers post online? They are forever on Instagram, always on the phone. It’s cute. I’ll tell you why. All of them combined have less followers than me. So I guess the most popular Jonas is @PriyankaChopra on Instagram.”
A toast to our Indian dost Priyanka for a rousing roast. However, the best roaster of the evening was British comedian Jack Whitehall. Calling himself a ‘Jonaholic,’ Whitehall went on to call Nick ‘The Meghan Markle of pop’ for breaking up the Jonas Brothers at one point of time.Whitehall also confessed that he was a celibate in his early years just like the Jonas brothers (who were under contract with Disney to avoid girls) because the minute Whitehall told girls he liked the “mindnumbingly bland” music of Jonas Brothers, they ran away.
By the time Whitehall announced he wanted to give the Jonas Brother’s father’s testicles a Grammy for contribution to music, I was roaring with laughter.
More than anything else, Jonas Brothers Family Roast proves we Indians can never do a ‘roast’ with celebrities. We do not have the sense of humour to handle it.
In 2015, All India Bakchod (vulgarity most intended) hosted an infamous Bollywood roast with Karan Johar, Ranveer Singh, Arjun Kapoor, film critic Rajeev Masand and others. They are still wrangling with various court cases that were slapped on them.
AIB had to eventually shut down. In contrast, the Jonas Brothers were roasted with such raunchy relish! Even Kevin’s wife Danielle took lurid potshots at her husband, stating as she did without fear of a backlash, that the couple’s two daughters were born in the ‘traditional way’ after she slept with the milkman.
Before Roast host Kenan Thompson could get over that one, Daniella congratulated her husband for his massive…. no, not the ego. That was demolished with devilish delight by all the roasters on the roster that rollicking raunchy evening when Priyanka (sans Chopra Jonas) let her hair down.
Jonas Brothers Family Roast is streaming on Netflix.
Subhash K Jha is a Patna-based film critic who has been writing about Bollywood for long enough to know the industry inside out. He tweets at @SubhashK_Jha.
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