Humshakals: Can't get Bipasha, so what? get the Kardashians instead

It’s going to take some effort, but imagine this: Sajid Khan, director of Heyy Babyy, Housefull, Housefull 2 and Himmatwala, is at a party in Los Angeles. Who should he bump into there but Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian. They chit chat. He says he’s a huge film director in India. They’re like, “Yeah whatever.” Or maybe they’re like, “OMG!” He tells them, he has a new movie coming out. It’s a comedy and it’s going to be a crazy. They should come for the premiere, he tells them. They’re like, “Family vacay!” They didn’t take a selfie, so there’s no proof that Khan actually met the Kardashians but if the Humshakals PR machinery is to be believed, then the Kardashian sisters may be coming for the release of Khan’s new film. According to the publicity email sent to media agencies, “A source close to the Kardashians said, ‘Kim, Kourtney and Khloe are very excited about coming to India. They are aware of the huge fan following in the country and are fascinated by their culture and traditions. They have heard a lot of wonderful things about India from their friends’.” [caption id=“attachment_1578863” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  Courtesy: Facebook[/caption] (Unsurprisingly this “source” has no name.) Comedians, you have our sympathies because out here, fact is funnier than fiction. Then again, this is information given by a PR so arguably, that’s more of a joke than a fact. First, let us consider for a moment where we’ve sunk as a culture and industry when of all the names to namedrop, we choose the Kardashians. Second, as silly attempts at publicity go, this is one of the silliest and not only because Kim Kardashian made an appearance in Cannes yesterday (thus making it highly unlikely that she’ll be showing up for the Humshakals premiere in Mumbai). All this is clearly an attempt to distract attention from the fact that actress Bipasha Basu isn’t promoting the film. Basu released a statement on Twitter saying she’s “extremely disturbed” by how Humshakals has shaped up. Coming from the actress who has appeared as the sexier equivalent of furniture in countless films, this is alarming. Clearly, we shouldn’t expect strong women characters in Humshakals. Faced with Basu’s withdrawal, it’s as though Khan and his publicity team decided that if they couldn’t have photos of one curvy actress in the film’s promotion, they’d wrangle in three. From America. Take that, Bips. And hey, it’s not like the Kardashians are actually going to notice. They’ve just had a wedding in the family after all and Kim’s been busy learning Photoshop ever since the wedding got over. But if Khan did actually invite the Kardashians, this could be one of those rare moments when Bollywood reveals it has a genuinely funny side despite the horrific hamming and appalling gags that pass for comedy in our films. Because if you think about it, the Kardashians are the perfect people to promote Humshakals. It’s a silly film about three lookalikes who wear multiple outfits and do stupid things. Sounds like the Kardashians, looks like Saif Ali Khan, Riteish Deshmukh and Ram Kapoor. Of course, this would mean Khan has been struck by the lightning of self awareness. Recently, he’s admitted that Himmatwala was a terrible film, which suggests Khan isn’t entirely out of touch with reality. However, he has also said that Humshakals is his “coolest” film, which is a stunning thought considering how tacky the posters look. Still, we can’t help but imagine a Keeping Up With The Kardashians episode set in India or the Humshakals DVD with the Kardashians providing commentary. They’ll be guaranteed hits. Bible.