 "Game of Thrones Season 7: Seven awesomely crazy fan theories doing the rounds")
Winter is here. Finally. For those of us that love Game of Thrones — and no, it’s not just
t@#s and dragons
Ian McShane (not that we mind in the least) — this is the most exciting time of the year. So, for your reading pleasure, our faithful minions have been hard at work, trawling the darkest regions of the interwebs and have unearthed the seven craziest fan theories doing the rounds. Here goes: 1. Daenerys Targaryen is the villain of the series. And crazy.
Daenerys: It is such a long way. I was tired, Jorah. I was weary of war. I wanted to rest, to laugh, to plant trees and see them grow. I am only a young girl. Jorah: No. You are the blood of the dragon. Dragons plant no trees. Remember that. Remember who you are, what you were made to be. Remember your words. Daenerys: Fire and Blood.
This analysis, for smug book readers, comes from the always excellent
Wars and Politics of Ice and Fire
: Dany’s arc in A Dance with Dragons ends with her recognition that dragons plant no trees and that her words are “fire and blood” – not just as the house words of her dynasty, but as her personal motto validating her rediscovered turn towards the mother of dragons and a violent vision of prophecy. To sum up: Dany has rejected her own nature. She tried for peace in Mereen and found it lacking. She has come to understand that dragons are, above all, conquerors. And conquerors aren’t famed for peace. Conquerors bring fire and blood. TV Dany is much the same. She wants the throne. At any price. “They can live in my new world or die in their old one,” she said. Is GRRM pulling a Breaking Bad on us? Making us sympathise with the hero(ine) of the tale, only to pull the rug out from under us and turn them into the ultimate villain? And about her being cray-cray? Try this one: Insanity famously runs in the Targaryens’s blood. In the
words of GRRM
: “Madness and greatness are two sides of the same coin. Every time a new Targaryen is born, the gods toss the coin in the air and the world holds its breath to see how it will land.” Look no further than Dany’s own sire, the Mad King. But hey, it’s just a theory.
A film theory.
2. The White Walker are the “good” guys
(Arya) strikes a dramatic pose, and slices the flame off the room’s lone candle with a flourish that would make Syrio Forel proud. The room goes black.
Just so, as her former dancing master would say. And then we move to the House of Black and White. Which is when things get weird. The conversation goes thus: Arya: You told her to kill me Jaqen: Yes. But there she is. And there you are. Finally, a girl is no one. Wait. What? How is Arya no one? She did exactly what Jaqen told her not to do. She refused to give up Needle (her last remaining piece of identity), couldn’t bring herself to kill Lady Crane, and went on the run from the Faceless Men. And that makes her no one? Then Arya says: A girl is Arya Stark of Winterfell. And I’m going home. And Jaqen seems… perfectly content. He even gives her a half-smile and a nod. Which makes absolutely no sense. Unless… he isn’t talking to Arya Stark. He’s talking to the waif, who’s given up her face and is now Arya Stark. Remember, these are the Faceless Men we’re dealing with. Cold-blooded contract killers. It’s like the mafia. If you’re in, you’re in. Till death do you part. As the Wired article rightly points out:
That little smile that Jaqen gives “Arya” when she says she’s going home sealed it for me. Having a reliable member of the Faceless Men masquerading as Arya Stark would be worth a great deal to the Many-Faced God. Just think of how many targets she can take out before anybody catches on.
Well, damn. 4. Jorah Mormont is Azor Ahai Azor Ahai. The Prince that was Promised. A legendary hero with a tragic tale (is there any better kind of legendary hero?) This one is for book readers, so bear with me. From the lips of Sir Davos (everyone’s favourite smuggler):
Do you know the tale of the forging of Lightbringer? I shall tell it to you. It was a time when darkness lay heavy on the world. To oppose it, the hero must have a hero’s blade, oh, like none that had ever been. And so for thirty days and thirty nights Azor Ahai laboured sleepless in the temple, forging a blade in the sacred fires. Heat and hammer and fold, heat and hammer and fold, oh, yes, until the sword was done. Yet when he plunged it into water to temper the steel it burst asunder. “Being a hero, it was not for him to shrug and go in search of excellent grapes such as these, so again he began. The second time it took him fifty days and fifty nights, and this sword seemed even finer than the first. Azor Ahai captured a lion, to temper the blade by plunging it through the beast’s red heart, but once more the steel shattered and split. Great was his woe and great was his sorrow then, for he knew what he must do. “A hundred days and a hundred nights he laboured on the third blade, and as it glowed white-hot in the sacred fires, he summoned his wife. ‘Nissa Nissa’ he said to her, for that was her name, ‘bare your breast, and know that I love you best of all that is in this world.’ She did this thing, why I cannot say, and Azor Ahai thrust the smoking sword through her living heart. It is said that her cry of anguish and ecstasy left a crack across the face of the moon, but her blood and her soul and her strength and her courage all went into the steel. Such is the tale of the forging of Lightbringer, the Red Sword of Heroes.”
Rhaegar believed her was Azor Ahai reborn. For a time. Then he thought it was his son. The internet suggests other names: Jamie Fookin’ Lannister, Jon Snow, Daenerys Targaryen , Brienne of Tarth, even Tommen’s kitten
Ser Pounce
(even we don’t believe that one). However, according to this clever, clever
Reddit
user, a close look at the evidence suggests only one candidate: Jorah Mormont. Dany’s ever faithful servant. Her Bear. Don’t dismiss it just yet. The evidence is overwhelming. Remember that thing about GRRM loving to subvert stereotypes? Why have the handsome Jon Snow as the hero of the series or the impossibly beautiful Daenerys Targaryen when you can have the balding, overweight Lord Friendzone step in and save the day. To quote directly from his
Reddit
post: What’s the fastest route from Slaver’s Bay to Westeros? The Smoking Sea. What’s in the Smoking Sea? Smoke and salt, of course. What else is in the Smoking Sea? Brightroar, a super badass Valyrian sword that was plunged into the water. Why hasn’t it been recovered? Most sailors fear the Smoking Sea and avoid it. Who are the bravest sailors in the world? The Ironborn. Where are they? On their way to pick up Dany and take her back to Westeros. Would Victarion want to prove that he’s Euron’s equal by sailing the Smoking Sea? You bet. Will Dany be keen to take a shortcut to get there faster when she hears that a fake Targaryen is stealing her birthright? Absolutely. Who did Dany promise to give a super badass Valyrian sword to as soon as she has one? Jorah. Who captured a lion (Tyrion Lannister)? Jorah. Who loves a woman more deeply and passionately than anyone else in the series? Jorah. Who’s going mad and may have to be killed by someone in her inner circle? Daenerys. What character could be killed to give a sword maximum power against the Others? Daenerys. What’s the worst thing GRRM could do to Jorah? Make him kill Daenerys. What is now branded into Jorah’s face? A demon mask. Brightroar is done being tempered in the water. It will be pulled from the smoke and salt and presented to Demon Jorah. He will kill Daenerys in the most powerful act of blood magic possible. When he removes the sword, it will be covered in fire and blood. He will take the black, as was his father’s dying wish. He will be the 1000th Lord Commander. He will drive back the darkness. Demon Jorah is Azor Ahai reborn. He even quotes Dany: Ser Jorah Mormont … one day you shall have from my hands a longsword like none the world has ever seen. Mic. Drop. Now that’s a tale of woe if I’ve ever heard one. And you know GRRM is just dying to do it. After all, this is the same man who once famously said: Every time someone asks me when a book is done I kill another Stark. Well, actually he didn’t. But it sounds like something he’d say. Right? And for all those saying: Man, that would be so damn unfair to Jorah, let me quote Tyrion: If you want justice, you’ve come to the wrong place. And speaking of the Lord imp… 5. Tyrion is a secret Targaryen
Tyrion’s appearance may also provide some hints that he’s actually a Targaryen. The Targaryens are famed for their silver hair and purple eyes. In the books, Tyrion’s hair color is described as a mixture of pale blond hair that’s almost white (it’s more dirty blonde on the show). His eyes are also mismatched: one green and the other black. Tyrion’s appearance contrasts with that of Jaime and Cersei, who have classic Lannister looks: green eyes and golden blonde hair. Siblings obviously don’t always look alike, but Joanna and Tywin were first cousins, so how did Tyrion end up with a black eye and whitish hair?
It also helps to know the history of the realm. According to rumours, Dany’s father Aerys, was
infatuated
with Tyrion’s mother Joanna. In fact, after Tywin and Joanna married, Aerys took ‘unwonted liberties’ during the bedding ritual. Soon after the incident, Aerys’ wife sent Joanna away from the court. Joanna eventually returned to attend the 10th year celebrations of Aerys’ reign. Tyrion was born the very next year. And there’s more. Tyrion is fascinated by fire (much like Danaerys and Aerys). He confesses to staring into the fire at Casterly Rock, imagining Tywin or Cersei in the flames. Who else loved to watch his enemies burn? The Mad King. Also, Tyrion loves dragons. Always has. He even has dragon dreams, which are basically premonitions. All coincidence, right? Except for the fact that the TV show seems to be throwing breadcrumbs our way, During Tyrion and Jon’s first meet, the little man that casts a large shadow has this piece of advice for the Bastard of Winterfell: Tyrion: Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you. Jon: What the hell do you know about being a bastard? Tyrion: All dwarfs are bastards in their father’s eyes. Now, admittedly that doesn’t seem like much. Just some friendly advice from one outcast to another. But this is George RR Martin we’re talking about. While the rest of us are playing checkers, he’s playing 3D chess. We think that a man with of noble lineage (Tyrion) is talking to a man of low status as bastards are regarded (Jon). But really, it’s Jon that has royal blood in his veins (R+L=J) and Tyrion, the one who could very well be a bastard. And Tywin hates Tyrion. Pathologically. He repeatedly places his “son” in harm’s way, lobs insults at him and blames him for murdering his mother. That doesn’t make much sense. And it’s not very fatherly. Especially, compared with how he treats Jamie and Cersei. From Tywin’s lips to Tyrion’s ears: Men’s laws give you the right to bear my name and display my colours, since I cannot prove that you are not mine. To teach my humility, the gods have condemned me to watch you waddle about wearing that proud lion that was my father’s sigil and his father’s before him. But neither gods nor men shall compel me to turn Casterly Rock into your whorehouse. Ouch. And when Tyrion confronts Tywin on the privy? After he shoots Tywin in the stomach, Tywin says:
“You’re no son of mine.”
Those were the final words of Tywin Lannister. A dying man. With nothing to lose. Perhaps, the truth, at last? And speaking of secret Targaeryns… 6. Jamie Lannister will murder Cersei
Deven Kanal kicked off his media career at Reader's Digest after graduating from The Times School of Journalism. With more than 13 years of work experience in the media, he has written on a variety of subjects — from human interest stories to sports, politics and pop culture