So Sanath, you think you can dance?

So it wasn’t enough torture to our flimsy egos to sit through three months of an eight left-footed Bhaichung Bhutia limping his way to 50 lakh rupees for dancing. Who won, possibly because, in some strange universe inhabited by SMS voters, judges and TV daily soap economics, he is hailed as cute - of the stammering, tripping kind. It is the reason why, we will spend the coming weeks watching Talat Aziz trying to do the tango. While some of us are borderline curious about how he will breathe outside his embroidered ten-kilo sherwanis, the rest are just dreading the high-tea worthy backslapping that judges Madhuri Dixit and Karan Johar will indulge in with the ghazal singer. [caption id=“attachment_333155” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“Sanath Jayasuriya is said to be participating in the fifth season of Jhalak Dikhla Jaa.”]  [/caption] No, this is no Dancing With The Stars. Oh come on, the last time Madhuri Dixit told someone he/she sucked was in Koyla – Amrish Puri in a white wig, after all, was tailor-made for the stuff. Once-a-child Anandi and now-divorced Anandi will say the same lines to KJo, Ravi Kissen will say he’s on the show to just see Dixit smile from a metre away and for all you know, Sanath Jayasuriya will win. Only if now 16-year-old Darsheel Safary fails to sell his buck-toothed smile once more, that is. Isha Sharvani shouldn’t have been here. She is too text-book a dancer. Not the first dancer women with flab and without sporty boyfriends will vote for. The ones, who secretly feast on Indian TV but wouldn’t be caught dead admitting it for reasons related to coolness, will probably go ‘aww’ and wish they had her skin or her sense of rhythm. There’ll be echoes, repeats in colour, black and white and sepia of the shot of a contestant weeping, fainting or rolling his/her eyes. There will be nothing that we don’t know already. But we’ll still watch it. Because our dinners are never over without a little borrowed drama.