Chunkzz movie review: Boyzz will be boyzz and sickozz will be sickozz

(Our software does not permit us to show less than 1 star in the rating graphic above. Please note that our critic has refused to rate this film.)

There were once four boyzz from Kerala

Who pretended ee life-il oru care illa

But deep down inside

They all wanted a bride

And they mourned because, y’know, penn illa.

Now these boyzz treated women like shit

As sub-humans on whom men should spit

They leered at their teacher

They were that kind of creature

I swear I can’t stand them one bit.

So these boyzz lolled about ogling girlzz

Then along came a gay girl with curlzz

She ignored all the boyzz

Did not fall for their ployzz

Or so it seems as this story unfurlzz.

(L to R) Balu Varghese, Dharmajan Bolgatty, Ganapathi S. Poduvel and Vishak Nair.

One day she and the boyzz climb a wall

To scale which she seeks help, that is all

One boy pushes up her bum

He is that kind of scum

’Tis behaviour that made my skin crawl.

The hero is a chap called Romario

Who behaves like he’s some sort of Lothario

But he’zz playing a part

To mask a desperate heart

All Romario wantzz is to marry-o.

On a Goa trip with Riya from college

He peepzz into her loo without her knowledge

He leerzz at the lady

I tell ya he’s shady

’Tis a fact we had better acknowledge.

He tellzz us he wants to see Riya’s “kuntham”

Yes, the creep will not even say “vaginum”

He first triezz to bed her

Then he getzz to wed her

Next we learn it was all a sick stratagem.

Now remember that gay girl called Sherin?

The one I mentioned right at the beginnin’?

Sherin’s part of his plot

But I don’t care a dot

Cos this film clearly looks down on women.

These fellowzz treat women like dirt

Meant for three things: marry, screw or flirt

Yet they so badly want

A pretty wife to flaunt

But respecting that wife, I guess, would hurt.

It is clear here that women are objects of hate

Why do these boyzz long to wed women or date?

As property to claim?

As scapegoats to blame?

Ask questions, dear viewers, it’s still not too late.

Now you may say: “Who cares for this critic?’

“She’s just too much of a bloody damned cynic”

Well don’t care for me

That’s not the point, you see

We must shame starzz like Perumanna, Lal and Siddique.

Dear leads Varghese, Nair, Bolgatty and Poduvel

Can you tell us when better sense will prevail?

You are good with comedy

But you pick this travesty

How much further will you lower your level?

Honey and Mareena, where goes your self-respect?

Is this not a film any thinking woman ought to reject?

You are artistes, not meat

Not a hungry man’s treat

You okayed this script, knowing what to expect?

This film Chunkzz thinks it is oh so cool

In the way it showzz how these men drool

At those thingies called women

That they don’t see as human

Chunkzz is not even worth our ridicule.

What this film deserves is our utter contempt

From our judgement, it should not be exempt

When we tolerate these blokezz

And laugh at their jokezz

We give such men in the real world consent.

If Chunkzz mocked religious folk instead of women

Netas would wail, cops would put Omar in prison

That is not my demand

I, a viewer, reprimand

Ugly humour that treats women as sub-human.