Sayani Gupta writes a letter in memory of Irrfan Khan: You will continue to be the benchmark of excellence

(A day after seasoned actor Irrfan Khan passed away on 29 April, actress Sayani Gupta pens a letter in his memory and expresses her gratitude for everything he has left behind, from the memories to a vast body of unparalleled work.)

**

Dear Irrfan,

I am writing this letter today, sadly when you are not here to read it. But I will still write it to give some solace to my breaking heart.

My father used to say ‘A true artist is always looked up-to by people in awe, and is remembered through the work he leaves behind. An artist never dies.’ It never rang as true as it rings today.

You came into this world with a wondrous quest for expression, empathy and exploration. You lived your life in the pursuit of your craft and flourished with your vigour and perseverance. You fought and fought but came out even more marvellous. You are someone who will always be remembered by the innumerable times you have made art into an evocative yet tactile, responsive reality. You have changed how we perceive the craft of acting today and have broadened its transformative possibilities. You will live on, as the greatest of our generation.

From Chandrakanta, Salaam Bombay, The Namesake, Haider, Maqbool and every single part you embodied, you have only expanded the possibilities of the craft of acting. You did the intense as good as the funny… all ever so delicately. You said, ‘Art is alive’, almost, as if it was a living organism… and for times innumerable, you have given this art, its life.

Today, when we mourn and grieve inconsolably, I am wondering if you knew the impact you’ve had on people. Did you know how much you are loved?

It’s almost like we feel you are ours. I feel that a part of my heart has chipped forever and it will never heal.

I have always looked at death with positivity but today, all those philosophies fall short because I have not had my heart’s fill of you, Irrfan. I am sad not only because you have passed on so early, aware that you fought, with your family alongside you and did not deserve to suffer anymore, but I feel your journey was snapped short, your desire to create and explore wasn’t satiated and your purpose in this world wasn’t fulfilled to its potential.

There are countless today, just like me, who regret so deeply, for not having gotten a chance to collaborate with you, to come in the light of your aura and to tread a few steps alongside you and envious of those, who did.

There will be no one like you Irrfan. Your knowledge, your wisdom of simple or larger things, your worldview, your openness, your honesty, your integrity are things that I hope we can all borrow from. You spoke about how we are so fortunate to be born in the land of Buddha, Mahavir, Hazrat Nizamuddin and Gandhi and it’s their thought and belief that we should always remember. I hope in these divisive dark times, we can remember the truth you spoke about and preserve our beautiful unique diversity.

I will cherish the times I have had the good fortune of attending your masterclasses, the time I got to spend with you, conversing, listening, laughing and witnessing the whole room be in awe of your striking intelligence, crackling sense of humour and scintillating smile. I thank you for engaging with the people around you and always leaving a part of your wisdom and perspective with us. Our love for you is unbound and as you leave behind a huge dent in our souls and hole in our hearts, we will continue to love you and you will continue to be the benchmark of excellence.

My deepest regards for Sutapa, for always standing by you so gracefully, patiently & lovingly.. and your fellow directors and colleagues for co-creating some of the best moments of cinema.

I hope your restless, hungry soul, which was always looking for more, be in art or love, soars high and free, like you always wanted.

Thank you for bursting into our consciousness like a supernova and filling our hearts with your light. You and your art will live on till we breathe our last. I promise you that.

Adios, you great genius. The glint in your eyes will shine bright in our hearts. I hope you are reunited with your ammijaan.

Love forever, A deep admirer

(As told to Devansh Sharma)