Arjun Patiala movie review: Logic is far and few between in this Diljit Dosanjh, Kriti Sanon film

A director pleads with a film producer to listen to a narration of the script he’s written over three years. The producer is already satisfied since the script fulfills his requirements of five songs, five villains, a romance and an item number (featuring Sunny Leone). But there’s more to it, insists the writer, thereby persuading the producer to settle down for a detailed narration. Thus, the curtains rise on 90 more minutes of nonsense. Enter the ‘hero’ Arjun Patiala, played by Diljit Dosanjh. He is a local judo champion and his podium-finish earns him a spot in the local police. As the newly appointed chief of Ferozpur cop station, Patiala decides to bypass the legal system and settles cases himself. Patiala also likes a good party and his patiala pegs (of course). On one of his tours of the locality, he meets local reporter Ritu Randhawa (Kriti Sanon) and falls instantly in love with her. She takes a little more persuasion before reciprocating. [caption id=“attachment_6975401” align=“alignnone” width=“825”]  Still from Arjun Patiala’s new song. YouTube screengrab[/caption] Back at the office, Patiala’s boss (Ronit Roy) instructs him to rid the district of crime. Along with his side-hero Onidda (Varun Sharma), Patiala uses unconventional methods to do so, pitting one villain against another. But Ritu’s conscience cannot accept that her lover-boy is employing unethical methods to meet his target. Remember I said there are five villains? So once the first three are bumped off you can guess the remaining two. But wait, the fifth is a red herring. So there are only four. But logic and calculation are wasted on director Rohit Jugraj’s film that is, after all, a spoof. Oof! And in case the audience didn’t figure that out, Jugraj takes Ritesh Shah and Sandeep Leyzell’s puerile script and underlines the humour with millennial motifs — emojis, cartoon script fonts and video game graphics. Supporting actors Seema Pahwa, Ronit Roy and Mohammed Zeeshan Ayyub are miscast as local corrupt politician, police officer and small time goon. The only tolerable scenes are the ones between the screenwriter (Abhishek Banerjee) and the producer (Pankaj Tripathi). I would rather see a film on this dynamic than a spoof of 80s/90s formula films. Varun Sharma repeats his buffoon act and Kriti Sanon reprises her pretty small-town girl role. Both deliver been-there-seen-that performances. Diljit Dosanjh is left holding this foolishness together. To his credit, he doesn’t amplify his performance as the affable local law-enforcer but let’s the jokes find their way out. Sorry, did I say jokes? I wasn’t amused one bit.