Scrap the all India elections. Let's just play Bigg Boss in Varanasi

Why bother with 543 Lok Sabha constituencies when we have Varanasi?

Narendra Modi versus Arvind Kejriwal in the holy city is being billed as the prize fight of this election season, manna from heaven for our television networks. We already had both Sagarika Ghose and Barkha Dutt floating down the Ganga talking to excited Kashi-vasis about the grand battle to come in their backyard.

One has to hand one thing to Kejriwal. He is no respecter for anything like the political version of the Marquis of Queensberry rules. He happily lives up to his iconoclastic image by breaking all the unwritten rules of political niceties.

One of those rules was the party bosses do not take each other on in a face-to-face fight. Sure, a Sushma Swaraj did once take on a Sonia Gandhi. But in general, party bosses usually prefer to have proxies, non-entities or the occasional celebrity go up against other big name leaders.

Rahul, for example, would not imagine going up against Narendra Modi. Modi too, for all his jibes at the shehzada, did not venture to unseat him from his pocket borough of Amethi. Kejriwal’s high-stakes gamble against Sheila Dikshit paid off. Now he’s only upped the stakes by pitching himself against Modi, the frontrunner for the Lok Sabha election. It has definitely changed the rules of the game.

The Congress is threatening to unleash a “formidable” candidate against Modi in Varanasi but unable to name one as of yet. Sanjay K. Jha in The Telegraph writes that Congress leaders are torn between two options. One, only someone like Priyanka Gandhi Vadra or Sachin Tendulkar can defeat Modi; and two, Arvind Kejriwal can become a genuine threat to Modi in Varanasi if all the secular parties back his candidature. Whatever they choose to do, the fact that a Priyanka’s name is even surfacing as a possible opponent to Modi is itself a sign of how much Kejriwal’s gambit has changed the playing field.

The election is entirely becoming about personalities rather than the parties. Given that Varanasi does not go to the polls until 12 May, the pot will just keep boiling at full steam until then. Even though Varanasi is only one seat in 543, thanks to our hyper-excited media it’s going to become the only seat that counts.

In fact, Sanjay Singh of Aam Aadmi Party pretty much made that clear when he commented “Would have been interesting to see Rahul Gandhi, Modi, Arvind ji, Mayawati & Mulayam Singh to contest from same place.”

And let’s just throw Mamata and Nitish and Jayalalithaa into the mix from there as well. Then Varanasi could become our modern-day Kurukshetra as the great political families, the dynasties and the mavericks, duke it out for the crown.

Of course, given our political scenario and the way the media spices up the horse race it’s more likely to become a reality show like Bigg Boss.

Modi, Kejriwal, Rahul, Mulayam, Jaya, Mamata and co. all locked up in a mansion on the ghats of Varanasi while we vote them in and out from the comfort of our homes until we are finally left with the Pradhan Mantri.

Now that sounds like an idea whose time has come — it’s cheaper, more comfortable and bound to be much more entertaining. But who should be the host? Arnab Goswami, of course, because the nation wants to know who will be the Biggest Boss of all.