9 reasons why we won't be playing with the new PlayBook!

Ankit Vengurlekar & Suresh Venkat

Remember that fateful day when Steve Jobs, the Big Shaman at Apple, said that netbooks were good for nothing, they weren’t very good at being computers and they weren’t very good at being anything else either? Shortly after that he announced Apple’s version of the portable computing device called the iPad, thereby prompting a series of jokes about similarly named feminine hygiene products. Well, 13 million sales later, he laughed all the way to the bank, then came back with the same device, this time with a camera, a second camera (gasp!), a faster processor, a thinner body and the coolest folding cover ever made. Now he’s on his way to the bank again, guffawing.

Meanwhile, the rest of the tech world gnashed their teeth in complete and utter frustration. How on earth was Jobs pulling this trick off over and over again? iPod, iPhone and iPad. And so they announced a slew of “catch up” gadgets. HP promised us a Slate, HTC promised us a Flyer, Samsung delivered the Galaxy and a curiously quirky Indian company called Notion Ink kept promising to release a supposedly path-breaking device called the “Adam” but never quite showed us their gadget. Perhaps Adam was too naked and there was a fig leaf shortage? Who knows…

Now Research in Motion, or RIM, is a brilliantly innovative Canadian company (yes, they do have companies in Canada), makers of the ubiquitous BlackBerry devices, watched silently as Jobs talked about the iPad. Then when the iPhone 4 was discovered to have antenna problems, RIM hit back at Apple and viciously. Those of us who revelled in vicarious delight during the days of the Cola wars were thrilled. We finally had a war on our hands. Or did we now?

A few weeks ago RIM (the BlackBerry Boys) announced that they would finally release their version of a tablet computer called the Playbook. For those of us who are not American (or Canadian presumably) a “Playbook” is used by coaches of American football teams to draw out different “plays” or game strategies. For the remaining 5.6 billion people who live outside of America, it sounds more or less like a silly word. Why not call it the BlackBook, for instance?

Those of us who own a BlackBerry are pretty happy with it. It has fantastic email, it has great security that organisations and enterprises love; it has BlackBerry Messenger Service (or BBM), a free SMS like chat service that you can spend all day pinging your friends and annoying strangers with. It has a reasonable media player, a reasonable camera, a nice responsive physical keypad and a very crappy App Store. But BlackBerry boys and girls are thrilled to bits with their berries. So it would be reasonable to expect that BlackBerry would launch a tablet that would build on their strengths and give the iPad some serious reasons to consider getting professional help.

But… the good people at RIM, in their (very finite) wisdom, decided to load a shotgun, take very careful aim and shoot themselves nicely and neatly in the foot. Here are the reasons why we think they did that:

Reason 1 - The PlayBook’s too small!

The Playbook is a 7-inch tablet, that’s barely a couple of inches more than my smartphone! Superphones (HTC Incredible S, iPhone 4, Sony Ericsson Experia Arc) these days tout 4-inch plus displays and dual core processors. In such a scenario the 7-inch tablet simply just doesn’t cut it. Sure, it’s extremely portable and can fit into those hip hugging jeans’ back pockets, but we think that for a rich, engaging tablet experience, 10-inch should be a prerequisite.

Reason 2 - No email on a “BlackBerry” Tablet PC!

Don’t rub your eyes, you are reading correctly! This is not a joke. There is NO native (“native” = inbuilt) email client for the PlayBook. Which means you cannot read, compose or reply to emails unless you pair your tablet to a Blackberry phone. This secure connection has to be done using Bluetooth and goes by a not-so-assuring name, BlackBerry Bridge! Seriously, Mr Co-CEOs of RIM, do you know what year it is? 2011. It’s the year where Rs 3,000 phones give you push email out of the box. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is an excuse for excluding email from a tablet, especially coming from a company that has come so far, thanks to its email services!

Reason 3 - Hey RIM, heard of Apps?

Smartphones have made one thing clear, it is not just the hardware that matters, but the depth of your Applications. Apple has seen a meteoric rise in the adoption of its gadgets, thanks to its humongous App store. Android has repeated that success story by slowly and diligently, increasing the depth of the Android Marketplace. RIM’s AppWorld for BlackBerry phones is skeletal. The range and variety of apps one finds for Apple and Android devices is lacking for Blackberry devices. And unfortunately, there are very few apps that will help you use that beautiful 7 inch Playbook screen.

Reason 4 - No 3G connectivity

Once again, lift that jaw from the floor and reattach to the upper half of your head. Yes, the Playbook only sports WiFi and Bluetooth for connectivity. So your access to internet is limited to the limited number of WiFi hotspots in a country like India. There is no provision for a 3G SIM card slot, but RIM promises to bring additional connectivity options in upcoming models. Also, to access internet on the go, you have the option of pairing your Playbook to a Blackberry smartphone via Bluetooth. But this means, if you don’t have a Blackberry smartphone, you CANNOT access the internet on the go!

Reason 5 - We don’t like half-boiled eggs, RIM

A paucity of apps, lack of 3G connectivity and complete and utter absence of email on the tablet. It feels like RIM wanted to get the Playbook out in the market as soon as possible, without pausing to think about what its customers might actually use the device for. So much for market research and all those books on innovation and customer centricity.

Reason 6 - Terrible Name

‘PLAYBOOK’? Really? And you call this a true enterprise-ready tablet? Of all the names in the world, you choose Playbook? A book to play with? Wasn’t Blackbook staring you in the face? What happened? The RIM office in Canada had an attack or “Emperor’s New Clothes-itis?”

Reason 7 - No BBM!

So you love pinging your friends on BBM? That incredibly popular free service from BlackBerry that allows you to send SMS-like messages, absolutely free of cost? You also love your joke-a-day group on BBM, don’t you? Well, suffer, you ungrateful customer you, for there is no BBM on the Playbook. Unless, of course, you connect your Blackberry to the Playbook. But if you already have your Blackberry, why not just use BBM on that? Tsk, tsk, now.

Reason 8 - No Maps (Yet)!

Here’s a simple rule of thumb to all CEOs of major world corporations attempting to launch products in India, i.e. one of the fastest-growing mobile phone markets in the world. First get your product ready, then get the software ready, then get your Apps ready. All done? Now launch the damn thing. For instance a tablet without a Maps application is just like launching a car without rear seats and telling your customers that it will soon be available. Just plain silly. BlackBerry Maps doesn’t work in India yet, so forget about using your PlayBook to navigate India’s treacherous roads. Apparently Bing maps will be incorporated soon… We hate “soon”! We love NOW!

Reason 9 - Poor Battery Life

Tablet PCs are road warriors. You need a battery life of at least 8-10 hours and a standby time of at least 3 days. The Playbook falls short on both counts. Somewhere between three-five hours of battery life is the best it can do.

So, in conclusion, we’d like to say this to Jim and Mike (Co-CEOs of RIM). Gentlemen, we are in no doubt of your genius-like abilities in creating and building upon the Blackberry handheld family of products. We’re also always rooting for somebody to take that supercilious brat Steve Jobs down a notch or six. We love the underdog. We love email. We love, love, love BBM. We love Apps. We love the Blackberry’s trackpad. We love getting email from our offices pushed into our pockets. We love companies that listen to their customers and build a product that is just right for them. We hate the PlayBook. Capish?

Ankit Vengurlekar and Suresh Venkat are the co-anchors of the award winning technology show, Tech Toyz on CNBC-TV18 & CNN-IBN. Mostly they spend their time arguing over who’s going to pay for lunch.