Budget 2013: Why those 42000 crorepatis don't love Chidu anymore

I was sipping a mojito and puffing on a cigar listening to Chidambaram delivering that Budget speech when I dozed off. Boring guy he is. No poems even.

Until I was awakened by a shriek from my girlfriend.  Turns out that Chidambaram doesn’t like me after all. Last time I met him in Delhi he shook my hand so warmly…?!

“There is an affluent class in India that consumes imported luxury goods such as high end motor vehicles, motorcycles, yachts and similar vessels. I am sure they will not mind paying a little more,” he said with a smile. Believe me, the glass almost fell out of my hand, so I gulped the drink in one go.

More income tax ( a ten percent surcharge it seems) just because I make more than one crore per year. What rubbish I say. Just because I make more money than the average person why should I pay more tax? I already had a road named after me, what will Chidambaram do with all this tax?

Trying to make me feel better by saying that I will have to pay more income tax only for one year didn’t make me feel any better.

Then came the real hit. I was planing on getting myself that new Maserati but Chidambaram announced that I would have to pay 100 percent customs duty on an imported car as compared to 75 percent.

So now I actually have to pay two times the price of the car. I think I’ll stick with my Aston Martin for now.

I also wanted to buy my girlfriend a new SUV, the old one has to go. That Finance Minister raised the excise duty on that too by three percent. What he has against me I’ll never know.

My son, who has been bugging me for a new Harley Davidson motorcycle will also have to wait. That is going to be become costlier by 15 percent and I’m going to be damned if I am going to spend that much on him.

That Chidambaram, has also raised taxes on the yachts from 10 to 25 percent. I have told my girlfriend to stop dreaming about sunning herself on that yacht I planned to get, and instead start using the verandah a little more.

And then came the ultimate blow. The Finance Minister raised taxed on my beloved Cuban cigars by 18 percent! I don’t know how much that works out to, I’ll have to ask the guy I get them from, but it sounds like a lot.

He even raised excise duty on mobile phones to 6 percent. Only mobile phones less than Rs 2,000 were spared. Who uses those cheapass phones anyway? Some farmers I am sure, but they don’t have mobile network anyway.

Well one thing’s for sure,  I’m not going for that lunch where this Finance Minister’s supposed to turn up. And if I do go, it will be with two eggs in my pocket to throw at Chidambaram. We 42,000 people who earn more than one crore a year don’t really love you right now. And that Azim Premji, I’ll have to deal with him too.