Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara review: Stunning visuals, drag of a plot

There’s good news about Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, but not for the viewer. This 135-minute long informercial for Spanish tourism is sure to inspire a stampede of Indian visitors with moolah to burn to the debt ridden Euro nation. A little easing of the debt crisis might not be so difficult for the beautiful country thanks to ZNMD. The thinly veiled excuse for this Viva Espana celebration goes something like this. On the eve of his marriage to Natasha (Kalki Koechlin), Kabir (Abhay Deol) takes the compulsory bachelor road trip to Spain with his buddies, Imran (Farhan Akhtar), a wannabe comedian and Arjun (Hrithik Roshan), a money minting investment banker. The road trip pact has an additional adventure sports clause, which is basically this: Each of the boys gets to pick an adventure sport and the other two have to participate. A very convenient clause, I must add, because it allows director Zoya Akhtar to devote great parts of her movie to eye-popping adventure sports sequences. In the midst of all this male-bonding, they meet Laila (Katrina Kaif), a gorgeous instructor who instructs Arjun in scuba diving, life, and love. Farhan Akhtar fails to convince as the cool comic in the group of ‘three musketeers’ — yes that’s what they were called as kids — he is more likely to make you cry because of his penchant for poetry. His jokes were the old and not the funny. Hrithik is fine as the cold dude transformed by love, but watching his lame buddies try to help him along is such a drag. And Abhay Deol is just there to make up the numbers – a buddy flick needs at least three buddies, right? [caption id=“attachment_42548” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“Katrina Kaif’s role is to do what is required: look pretty, fall in love with Hrithik Roshan, and marry him at the end. Amit Dave/Reuters”]  [/caption] Zoya has stuck to the tried-and-tested formula of the boy-bonding genre. The staple bar fight, typical male pranks, bitching about controlling girlfriends – there’s very little that is new here. The movie is content to play down to the worst Bollywood cliches of male friendship, with Hrithik mouthing dialogues like “dost dost ki madad nahi karega to kaun karega” helping Abhay Deol try and come to terms with how controlling his girlfriend is. The women are reduced to eye candy. Katrina is a 21st century free-living girl who does ultra hip things like being a part time scuba diving instructor and drive around in a bike ensuring that she looks all perfect at all times. Kudos to good make-up. That’s what every girl on the road wants. Her role is to do what is required: look pretty, fall in love with Hrithik, and marry him at the end. She is the feminine foil to Kalki Koechlin who plays the rich, possessive chudail. A typical female stereotype who can’t understand why her fiancé needs to spend time with his buddies, and plans to give up her career the moment she gets hitched. But kudos to Zoya Akhtar’s direction and Carlos Catalan’s cinematography for creating a film that kept the audience exclaiming in wonder. ZNMD is clearly dedicated to all things beautiful: Hrithik’s six-pack abs; Katrina’s supertight red corset; the Spanish countryside. But all that beauty can’t save a plot that drags on and on forever. My advice: stay home and tune in to the Travel and Living channel.