Despite Shahid Kapoor, the only thing reloaded in Jhalak Dikhla Jaa is boredom

The new and improved Jhalak Dikhla Jaa is here. And it’s the “Reloaded” version – which means…? Author Amish Tripathi is a judge on it. No, I lie. That’s just me trying to make the show more interesting than it is. This ‘Reloaded’ Indian version of Dancing With The Stars is in Season 8 and as usual, I’m amazed the producers have yet again managed to find people to participate in the show.

So what qualities does this season of Jhalak Dikhla Jaa have? There’s the usual retinue of television stars – heroes and TV bahus, one outspoken slightly bawdy actress, one imported dancer from phoren shores. Usually, this ensemble includes a has-been actor or someone well past their prime and not known for their dancing chops – like chef Sanjeev Kapoor, or that taut-faced appreciator of fine young things, Shekhar Suman.

Instead, this season we get an actress (I use the word extremely loosely), who is nowhere to be seen on celluloid. Shilpa Shetty’s sister, Shamita Shetty is a participant in Jhalak Dikhla Jaa Reloaded. Maybe this is Jhalak’s way of casting a wider net for contestants. Open up the show to the unsuccessful sibling-whom-cinema-forgot, and Jhalak has at least five seasons of contestants primed and ready, starting with Tanishaa Mukerji, Rinke Khanna, Uday Chopra, Sohail Khan, Amrita Arora. The possibilities are endless.

Another change in the show is that this season some judges are more equal than others. The judges have now been split up into two panels of two. It’s a lot like the Downstairs-Upstairs divide of Downton Abbey, only the panels are labelled “Judges” and “Dance Gurus”. Unlike other dance reality shows, Jhalak believes in having judges who are related to the world of dancing, which is why we haven’t had the pleasure of Ira Trivedi or Amish Tripathi commenting on the finer points of dancing to us, (hat tip: Nach Baliye). More’s the pity.

In the past, we’ve seen Karan Johar playing majordomo, while Madhuri Dixit and choreographer Remo Fernandes were his co- judges. In the reloaded Jhalak, Dixit has been replaced by peppy and pipey Shahid Kapoor, and Remo has been replaced by choreographer Ganesh Hegde. However, Hegde isn’t allowed at judge’s table, so Lauren Gottlieb — Season 6’s runner-up — has been brought on board to keep him company. Gottlieb and Hegde are on the Star Gurus table.

From the comments that were passed after each performance, I didn’t notice anything qualitatively different in what was being said by the judges and the dance gurus, other than Hegde who obviously has some clear inputs and observations to share. Gottlieb told pretty much each contestant that “you need to work on your technique”. I am leaning towards the perception that Gottlieb may have been hired to complete the requirement of the women’s quota on Jhalak Dikhla Jaa Reloaded.

It turns out Shahid Kapoor is quite funny. Of course the drainpipe pants and the sneakers with trousers look is a little avoidable, but maybe Kapoor knows something we don’t. What is impressive and should be applauded is how Jhalak Dikhla Jaa gives a platform to choreographers to have their much-deserved moment in the sun. Finally, we see the people who make our Bollywood stars dance the way they do.

Jhalak also proves that television is no longer a step-down for film folk. Whether it be film actors and actresses doing their turn on TV, or directors and choreographers playing TV hosts and judge – suddenly television is the new “it” place for them all. Current stars and has-beens rub shoulders as they clutch at this new lease of life. Hurrah for the idiot box!

But is there anything to hurrah about in Jhalak Dikhla Jaa Reloaded? After four hours of watching the show over two days, watching the same hackneyed dance numbers, and hearing the same gay jokes and double entendres that the judges spout season after season – I have to say with a heavy heart, the answer is a resounding no.