Bhad mein gaya no 1,2,3: Salman's lessons for Twitter trolls, Aamir and SRK

Dear world, now snatch the ‘best best-friend ever’ title  - from Amit Shah, Karan Johar, high-speed wi-fi, WhatsApp or whoever else owns it now - and hand it over to Salman Khan. He just defended his friends from the industry and lashed out at his fans for being abusive trolls. He not only scolded his fans on Twitter - and mind you, they are no ordinary, harmless creatures - but also threatened to quit Twitter if they don’t mend their ways. Now, lets face it, Salman’s fans are not one-of-a-kind, at least, if their Twitter behaviour is anything to go by. They are only as good, or bad, as fans of Shah Rukh Khan, or Aamir Khan, or our Prime Minister or Sachin Tendulkar on Twitter. While most others give a damn about how their fans choose to behave on Twitter, Khan decided he’s had enough. And then did something that could offer his fellow celebrities ideas about disciplining their own fans. So Salman put out the following tweet yesterday:

Sharukh n amir hate it oo. N for my fans don't let me dwn. Srk n amir khan r my friend toh buss. Bhad mein gaya No 1,2,3. Samjhe kya?

— Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) June 9, 2015

And that’s just one tweet. He put out at least twenty tweets, scolding trolls on the social media site for being what they are - people with fake identities, absurd twitter handles and abusive moods. He didn’t stop at that, more than once, he threatened to quit Twitter if people didn’t stop abusing his ‘friends’ from the industry.

Have come here so v can grow together b happy n if me n my colleges r creating a darrar between fans then it's not wort it.

— Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) June 9, 2015

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I vil not b on this social net work any more. Bus khallas, khatam, wanna follow me n want me to b here to Pyar mohobbat se raho. Or I am out

— Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) June 9, 2015

Continue it n I vil b off twitter. Came here to spread love, share sm thoughts hv fun vit fans not for them to insult my fraternity. Hut

— Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) June 9, 2015

Messed up fighting over yr hero's vit each other. make this journey beautiful, dint sign up fr this ugly twitter war n not a part of it .

— Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) June 9, 2015

Fan who is on a false identity using it to put another actor,friend colleague down ,is no fan of mine,don't like. simple funda hai.

— Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) June 8, 2015

Now observe a minute’s silence for all those brave men and women on Twitter who have tirelessly, enthusiastically, with countless wrong spellings have fought for the right of Kick to be called as a film, and not two-hour-long torture. Given that Salman has taken the first step to make bad manners redundant on Twitter and has threatened to never to treat us to his tweets that also doubled up as jumbled word puzzles, here’s what his peers and some others with similar fan legacies can do to do their bit. [caption id=“attachment_2288518” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  Salman Khan. AFP.[/caption] The first in that list should be Shah Rukh Khan. What can he do to make his fans behave and not come up with the idea of another alternative form of sexuality that our vigilant, legal system and Baba Ramdev don’t have a ‘cure’ for. How can he threaten his fans to not accuse people of being ‘Bhaisexuals’? Should he say that he will stop selling Fair and Handsome? Now what could scare a man more than getting busted in a loo while slathering Fair and Lovely instead of it’s ‘manly’ fairness cream?  Oh no, we actually know what he should do. He just needs to fish out his Kuch Kuch Hota Hai top and threaten to play a college student again! Then comes yet another of Salman’s ‘friends’ - Aamir Khan. This one’s easy. Aamir’s virulent Twitter fans will be the easiest to fix. He needs to threatens to not weep on Satyamev Jayate. Or declare that he will never remove his body hair again. And then there’s Sachin Tendulkar, whose fans were just short of outlawing Maria Sharapova from the Milky Way. If he really wants his fans to behave, he just has to go and favourite a Maria Sharapova tweet. And finally, there is the most complicated one, PM Narendra Modi. Now, what can he do to ask some of his fans to behave? Threaten to start wearing jeans? Scrap the Statue of Unity project? Threaten that he will now announce a National Zumba Day? Not really. He just needs to follow @OfficeOfRG. Imagine the horror of his fans, when they wake up one morning and sees this on their timelines: @narendramodi followed @OfficeOfRG. Between apocalypse and good behaviour, we’re sure, some badly-behaved NaMo fans will choose the latter.