The Chef with a ‘Piss and Tell’ Secret

Under which law do you book a street vendor who sells paani puri filled with his pee?

This was the question that police in Thane, Maharashtra, pondered over the other day when residents of the Naupada neighbourhood handed over to them 59-year-old Rajdev Lakhan Chauhan. Mumbai Mirror reports that the man, who had been serving chaat in the area for four years, had been caught ‘red-handed’ urinating into a tumbler and mixing it with ragda and theeka paani before serving them to customers. The shop was extremely popular among Thane’s lovers of salty snacks, until a teenager shot his secret act with her mobile phone camera and outed his recipe to the world. A good thrashing later, neighbours took him to the police station. Now, there is no doubt this man is a psychopath who likes to see his ‘consumers’ get more than what they bargained for. I am not even surprised that such people exist in this world. Suffice it to say I read a lot about weird people doing weird things. I can immediately recall the Japanese celebrity Issei Sagawa whose only claim to fame is that he ate his wife. And the Hungarian freak Szilveszter Matuska who derived sexual pleasure by derailing trains. But I am really surprised by the policemen’s behaviour.  They (must have) administered a few friendly thappads (slaps) on the person of Mr. Chauhan but beyond that didn’t know what to do. In particular, they couldn’t get a fix on the specific legal provision that identifies urinating into food that you sell as a crime. After much deliberation, they fined him Rs. 1,200 under the Bombay Police Act for urinating in a public place. He walked free the next morning. Now, don’t get me started on whether a tumbler is a public place or not. My point is quite different — that the police displayed an extraordinary lack of legal knowledge and failed even to ring up a prosecutor and ask. Plus, the police obviously don’t understand psychopathy. So they didn’t appreciate the need for restraining this man and keeping the public safe from his liquid assaults. In fact, Inspector Hemant Sawant said the man urinated into the tumbler because the neighbourhood was a clean place and he had nowhere else to relieve himself! And one of his seniors, Deputy Commissioner (Hawkers) B.G. Pawar claimed this is a case to be handled by the health department. I couldn’t accept that explanation. So I rang up a lawyer and asked him about laws that can put such a fiend behind bars. And it turns out, contrary to what the police claimed, that there is a simple and straightforward section in the Prevention of Food Adulteration Act to imprison him. Mumbai-based lawyer Sam Burjorji Jijina, who specialises inter alia in matters relating to environment, safety and consumer protection, told me this is a clear case of food adulteration with a threat to public safety. And that this man belongs in the jail. Now the Food Adulteration Act has three different provisions. One pertains to the less serious type of adulteration that is not injurious to health. Here, the offender can be imprisoned for anywhere between six months and three years. The second relates to serious adulteration that is injurious to health. The relevant punishment is imprisonment of one to six years. And then, there is the toxic adulteration. This is the type that can cause serious injury or even death. The penalty here is a minimum imprisonment of three years that can extend to life. Which of the three provisions should we apply to our pee-ni puri vendor? Science tells us that urine is not toxic. It may irritate the skin and eyes but will not kill. In fact, urine is used in therapy. Late Prime Minister Morarji Desai attributed his good health and long life to his habit of drinking his own urine (though not with paani puris). Given all these facts, a defense lawyer may argue that urine is not toxic and is just a non-serious adulterant. That doesn’t mean it was perfectly healthy for evening snack eaters of Thane to drop by Chauhan’s outlet? What about any disease he may have had? What about the disgust and humiliation he has caused to innocent people? So I think the police should have used the second provision in the Act to get him imprisoned for up to six years with an assurance that he will be sent for mental rehabilitation and not allowed ever to sell food after his release. But in a country where once a deputy prime minister (Devilal) sprayed a roadside wall with the contents of his bladder, a tumbler is just another relief measure. Or so the police must have thought!