Sania Mirza controversy: India's 'ladki toh paraya dhan' ideology is to blame

A few weeks back, it was Maria Sharapova. This time, it is Sania Mirza. Both tennis stars seem to have managed to rub a few Indians the wrong way. While Maria’s sin was ignorance of our God (read Sachin Tendulkar), Sania’s sin is that she chose to “step over to the dark side” and marry the “enemy.” [caption id=“attachment_1635887” align=“alignleft” width=“380”] Sania Mirza in a tennis match. Reuters[/caption] Maria was labeled ignorant and pompous, Sania has been labeled anti-national. If there is a hierarchy of sins then being anti-national probably occupies the highest spot. This is one comparison (and possibly the only) in which Sania beats Maria. Sania finds herself in the eye of the storm because of a statement made by K Laxman, a BJP legislator from Telangana. He questioned the Telangana government’s move to make Sania the brand ambassador for the state, stating (and emphasising) the fact that “she is married to Pakistani cricketer Shoaib Malik and is not local enough.” While on the surface Mr Laxman’s argument seems to be about the suitability of Sania as a brand ambassador for Telangana however the core issue is really about a woman and her identity. By repeatedly bringing up the identity of her spouse, Mr Laxman is implying that a woman losses her own identity post-marriage. How can Sania be Indian when her husband is Pakistani? The fact that she has spent 27 years of her life in India or that she is represented India at international sporting events seem to hold no significance post her marriage. All that matters is the identity of her husband. And how can one blame Mr Laxman for subscribing to this idea. After all does’nt every second Bollywood movie have the clichéd dialogue “Beti ek paraya dhan hoti hai.” Six magical words to make every daughter feel loved. It is like society is telling a woman - a daughter is a commodity who is under the control of her father only to be subsequently transferred and “held” by her husband. She must do everything to transition from an ideal daughter to an ideal daughter in law. A woman growing up in India is taught how to be a good daughter, daughter-in-law and wife however in the eyes of her parents she seems to have no real identity, dreams and aspirations of her own. After all she is “paraya dhan.” For Mr Laxman and his supporters the argument is pretty simple. Sania now belongs to her husband. Her husband belongs to Pakistan. Therefore, Sania is Pakistani. Hence Proved. So what if Sania feels otherwise. Her husband’s identity supersedes all other affiliations. After all, we are also the land of “pati devo bhava.” It is extremely fascinating that there is a disproportionately high amount of pressure on the woman, both from within her family and outside, to not create a separate identity for herself. We would rather address her as a Mrs so and so than by her first name. Infact most married women are also very comfortable introducing themselves as Mrs so and so. Her new surname becomes the most significant aspect of her identity. Finally the “paraya dhan” has reached it’s destination. Mission accomplished. And there is no discrimination – you could be the girl next door, a supermodel, a CEO or a Tennis star. You are paraya dhan. Just ask Ashiwarya Rai BACHCHAN or Mallika Arora KHAN or Indra Krishnamurthy NOOYI. Sorry Sania but now that you have left your daddy’s home and arrived at your real home, you now officially belong to your husband. Life would have been different if you were a man. Better luck in the next life.