My uncle, Dev Anand: An intimate remembrance

Editor’s Note: No one knows a man better than the women in his life. Be it his mother, wife, daughter or friend, they offer a unique and intimate perspective on men with larger-than-life media personalities. In this new series titled ‘In Her Eyes,’ we ask these women to offer their frank, unedited, and always affectionate view of the men they love dearly. Their responses are honest, revealing, and unexpectedly familiar.  Sohaila Kapur, journalist, theatre actor, director and Dev Anand’s niece talks about her favourite uncle — a man who needs no introduction. [caption id=“attachment_149829” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“My father used to joke that the husbands counted for nothing when Dev was around. Reuters”]  [/caption] What was it like being in a family with a star in its midst? All the women in the family were crazy about him. It was Dev, Dev, Dev among his sisters. They saw all his films, my mom saw each and every one of his films, never missing a single one. And he so easily overshadowed my father and my aunts’ husbands. My father used to joke that the husbands counted for nothing when Dev was around. But it was all in good spirit. He always made sure he gave them his attention too. He had a terrific ability to find something to admire in almost everybody. How was your early relationship with him? He was very affectionate. Not just to me, of course, to all children. He would take me on his knee and talk to me. I grew up in awe of him, and had a huge crush on him. From the time I was 9 till I turned 14, nobody could match up to him, even the boys I fancied were constantly compared to him by me. Then around 15 or so, I think Rajesh Khanna took over, which is when Dev Uncle became just an uncle. But he was special, always. How was he at work? Ever seen him on the sets? I visited him on the sets of Johnny Mera Naam. Goldie Uncle was directing it. And I remember how he would ask his younger brother at every point, “Ye theekh hai?” They would speak in Hindi, Punjabi and English, and he would let Goldie guide him. It was obvious that on this set, Goldie, though 10 years younger, was the boss. What was it like at family get-togethers? He attended most of them. And though everyone would fuss over him, he made sure he never played favourites. He would ensure he spoke to everyone. But I could sense that he did keep a certain distance. Maybe he had a paranoia, maybe it came from being constantly hounded, maybe he developed the idea that everyone in the family wanted something from him. I don’t know if anyone asked for favours, but he was close yet somewhat aloof. He never could really express his fondness for his family. And the brothers? They were all competitors with each other. The world knew they had tiffs, and that they parted ways. But off the professional scene, they were there for one another, at family celebrations and events. They were close. The heroines? We were at the premiere of Ishq Ishq Ishq. Zeenat was with him in Delhi. My brother Shekhar was also in the film. And being closer in age to Zeenat than Dev uncle, there was some fondness between them, maybe even a flirtation. They wanted to go dancing, and uncle said, “Go, go, you are young people, go enjoy yourselves,” and off they went. Later I heard he was quite upset, especially since it was his own nephew. But he never let on. Would you call him a dandy? His sense of dress was amazing. It used to make me wonder how he looked the way he did. I used to play a lot at his house with Suneil, my cousin, his son. I always wanted to look into the bathroom, and it was strictly out of bounds for all, especially children. During one game, I slipped in. What a luxurious room! There was a full length mirror covering an entire wall, and running along it was a ledge, like a mantelpiece. Full of perfumes, and hair products! It was awesome! I think he still had a puff those days, which explains all those hair products. I went there again three years ago, sneaked in once again. I wish I had not. It was old and faded like sepia. It hurt me to see it! What was his marriage like? There are so many conjectures… We always thought of Mona aunty as a very private person. She rules the home, the house is her private fortress. We were not allowed as children to roam through the rooms, only some rooms and the garden were allowed for us to play in. I always thought her very beautiful and strict. Very distant. They entertained a lot, and there was enough evidence to know they enjoyed that. He was always calling out to her: Mona this and Mona that. But I never really found them being affectionate with each other. Even as a child, I found they were distant from each other. It was a working relationship. What was your recent interaction with him like? He was still the same, the perfect gentleman. I was trying to get bytes for my channel at some high-level party that he was at in Delhi. Everyone was there. I remember approaching a senior cabinet minister, he looked at me, raised his eyebrows and said, ‘NO!’ Dev Uncle gladly obliged. Not because I was his niece. He would have been even more gracious had I been a stranger. He told the organisers to ensure the camera crew were looked after. He was always like that. He never made you feel small, would pick you out if you were looking uncomfortable and ensure you were made to feel comfortable, regardless of who you were!