ManU on honeymoon, but EPL excitement is still on

In domestic terms, Manchester United are away on their honeymoon. I don’t think it would be polite of us to speculate on what they might be up to. I would instead suggest something to really clear the mind, like bungee jumping. Winning the league title is like getting married. Thrilling no doubt, but only in as much as it is the culmination of a lot of effort, and represents the recording of history. In most cases, it’s not a helter skelter maddening rush of adrenaline, even if it feels like that for a few seconds. It seems a little more solemn than that. I’ve never tried it (winning a league or getting married) but I’ve seen people who have, and they rarely emerge from the experience looking like someone who has just gone bungee jumping. Try jumping off a cable car, and being pulled back inches from your doom by a tiny rubber band. It really kick-starts your day. Staring around wide-eyed, overjoyed to have a little more time on the Earth. It reminds you why it’s great to be alive. It’s a real thrill. It’s a lot like surviving a relegation battle. I don’t know whether the good folks at Venky’s would agree with me right now if I said that they were lucky to have a club that was one point away from the Premier League’s relegation zone with one game to go. I wouldn’t blame them if they were tempted to throw me, as well as their ownership deeds, into the chicken liquidiser (the chiquidiser?). They may feel differently by Saturday evening. [caption id=“attachment_12843” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“Blackburn Rovers are going bungee jumping, along with five other teams. The bad news is that two of the cords attached to those six teams will snap. Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images”] [/caption] Blackburn Rovers are going bungee jumping, along with five other teams. The bad news is that two of the cords attached to those six teams will snap. The good news is that Blackburn’s cord is the strongest, if only by an elastic band or two. It is rare that the team standing 15th on the final morning of the season are still in sight of the drop. That Blackburn very much are is a consequence of a league whose lower echelons have been riveting all season. Still, they would have to see three of the teams currently below them register better results than they manage before they go down. The trouble is that one of those teams, Wolverhampton Wanderers, are Blackburn’s hosts on Saturday. Wolves are favourites to win; mostly because they have won their last two games and only need another to secure their own survival. So where does that leave Rovers? It leaves them still with Birmingham City, Blackpool and Wigan beneath them. Wigan’s trip to Stoke City is difficult to call. Stoke have been excellent at home all year, but the summer has started for them now. Birmingham are going to White Hart Lane, with Spurs desperate for points to protect their place in the Europa league. So Blackburn can hope for some help from that quarter of North London. So, it’s just Blackpool to consider. Alright, I can’t help it. Let’s do some tabloid-style speculation. Sir Alex is laying back, post-title, wondering what to do next. Does he put out a full strength team against Blackpool, risking injury to his stars before the titanic clash with Barcelona at Wembley? And there ends the speculation. Just be sure to be watching as all the games are played simultaneously. They’re all hurtling downwards, hoping their cords will jerk them back up before they hit the ground. It will be intense, it will be bad for the hearts of all concerned, but it will be a day no one concerned will ever forget. It will remind the players, fans and owners that they are alive. Unless they don’t make it.