Did Freida, Nargis turn KJo into the first closet heterosexual?

It was touted to be an episode so risqué that _Koffee With Kar_an would be telecast not at the regular 9pm, but at the late night slot of 11pm. Actresses Freida Pinto and Nargis Fakhri, on Karan Johar’s couch, would supposedly make the most scandalous statements ever. Trying to still my beating heart, I sat down to watch what I thought would be a mix of Game Of Thrones and Family Guy presided over by our answer to Hugh Hefner. Instead, here’s what Koffee With Karan gave me. [caption id=“attachment_1419833” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  Screengrab from YouTube[/caption] Fakhri and Pinto definitely don’t have the airs that their Bollywood contemporaries do. So there was no minding of Ps and Qs. Instead we learnt that Fakhri gets sweaty armpits when she is nervous; Pinto revealed she’d been told to get a boob job by a Bollywood producer; and Fakhri confirmed what we’ve all suspected: there’s such rampant use of falsies in Bollywood, that the day’s not far when you’ll hear someone say at a party, “Oops, somebody’s boob fell down.” And yes, actors and producers did sms Fakhri, hoping to hook up with her, only to be rebuffed. Johar’s giggles, however, were a little disproportionate to the humourous quotient of what was being said. If you’re not in Bollywood, you don’t care about pretending to be 22 years old or that you have a younger boyfriend. Imagine Aishwarya Rai saying on national TV that Abhishek is younger than her. Juhu would freeze over before that happened or before any of our younger batch of actresses admitting to being in a relationship. Pinto happily announced she’s 29 and she has been in relationship with Dev Patel, who is 6 years younger than her for the past four and a half years. Fakhri said that as a child she’d wanted to be a stripper. Imagine that? I could almost hear the Patron Goddess of Good Bollywood Actresses keel over as Fakhri said this, cheerfully I might add. KJo might just be the only closet heterosexual we know. This entire series he’s made it a point to blush every time the male actors flirt with him and make innuendoes about his sexuality. He’s clearly stated – even in this episode – that he’s not interested in the actresses and they’re absolutely safe with him. So why was Johar so flummoxed by Pinto in a dress that was more cut out and less ‘dress’, and Fakhri wearing a Monisha Jaising creation that was such a close fit, it could be her second skin? He called Pinto, “Freida Punto”. Said they’ll go to a “boob” instead of a break. Stammered, stuttered and looked like a boy who’d seen his first Playmate. What gives, KJo? While KJo’s closet residency status may be up for debate, his determination to not ask difficult questions this season is very obvious. No matter how cool and chilled out his guests may seem, Johar will not put them in the spot. For instance, what people want to know about Pinto is not whom she would like to kill, bed or marry, but where on earth Pinto picked up her accent. No one from Malad, Mumbai, speaks like that. But KJo was so busy playing the bashful schoolboy, we got no real answers from Fakhri and Pinto. This is a shame because these two ladies, when they and Johar weren’t giggling inanely as though they’d inhaled laughing gas before the shoot, were candid and fun. That’s more than can be said of any of Johar’s other guests this season.