The six worst Bollywood fashion horrors of all time

Bollywood has many claims to global fame, but the most dubious is its fashion sense. Wardrobe horrors were once staples on the screen, and can make you cringe even today when they flash across the television set. Here’s a quick list of some looks that should never have been, and some that still endure! Man in the white shoes: Not dainty, strappy stilettos. these were size ten shoes with laces worn by men. Raaj Kumar favoured them, so did Ajit the villain of ‘Mona darling’ fame and Jumping Jack Jeetendra who matched them with all-white ensembles. Raaj Kumar was a consummate actor on screen, but well known for his eccentricities off screen. And his shoes were one give away of his love for the off beat. Raaj Kumar first donned white shoes in Waqt, B R Chopra’s lost and found saga. He never stepped out without them after that film, and it kind became his signature style. The directors more often than not used the white shoes as a distinguishing factor in his wardrobe, focusing on them, as in Hamraaz, to show him as the man to suspect of his wife’s murder. Ajit on the other hand wore many kinds of shoes,besides the whites, which were usually shown to advantage,as he liked putting his legs on the table. Sometimes one shoe was very obviously bigger than the other…. just to make things easier for the police. Yet be it Ajith, Raaj Kumar or Jeetendra, all their on-screen style couldn’t save those white shoes from looking just plain tacky. Beware the bow-tie: Nothing but nothing can quite match the garishness of Amitabh in his array of suits, pointed toe shoes with platform soles in Don. A bow tie ensured the yecch factor! Bow ties were supposed to signify high fashion to the audience…. a visual cue that our hero was a suave, man of the world. But the results usually suggested the opposite. Vinod Khanna agreed sported a large, really large orange self printed jacquard bow tie in Maha Badmash (maybe Maha had something to do with the tie’s size), Shammi Kapoor wore one in Teesri Manzil, (pardonable perhaps because he was a stage performer) and of course in Amar, Akhbar Anthony, Big B was rarely seen without one round his neck, especially when he presented himself formally as Anthony Gonsalves. [caption id=“attachment_77462” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“Nothing but nothing can quite match the garishness of Amitabh in his array of suits, pointed toe shoes with platform soles in Don. A bow tie ensured the yecch factor!  Image still from movie Don.”]  [/caption] More recently a ‘simple man’ Akshay Kumar wore a black and white checked jacket and a red bow tie to signal his ‘simplicity’ in Houseful. SRK more unforgivably committed his fashion blunder in real life, wearing a blue and white bow tie at a stage show in Guyana. Somebody please tell Bollywood that the bow tie is best worn black, and when accompanied by a formal tuxedo suit. Any other kind is best left in your drawer. And if you really need to splash of style around your neck, take a hint from the evergreen Dev Anand: Wear a scarf! The gaon ki gori choli: Many things have changed in Bollywood, but not the gaon ki gori: the swinging plait, tied as a pony tail for extra swing; false eyelashes, painted nails; and to top it all, a choli that hugs the curves and some. The conical shaped garment, cut so it leaves nothing for the seeti bajao types to imagine, is the must-have ‘cheap thrill’ factor even as the damsel played demure on screen. Every heroine from Mumtaz to Nanda to Hema Malini has worn one of these horrendously stitched cholis, and in all colours of the rainbow. And it gained celluloid immortality when Neena Gupta paired up with Ila Arun for choli ke peechey kya hai in Khalnayak. The choli has even inspired the likes of Madonna, but as the tackiest Indian piece of clothing on screen, it is hard to beat. Continues on the next page Behold the wig: Please tell me why wigs need to look like wigs? In Hindi cinema, wigs often loom larger on screen than the person wearing them. Advertising their presence loud and clear, they let us know that its wearer is fake fake fake. So we have Saira Banu in a blonde wig in Purabh aur Paschim… she is fake because not quite Hindustani, at least not till she gets her comeuppance for being blonde and fair and vilayati. Wigs are usual de rigeur for actors pretending to be old, be it Shammi Kapoor or Mehmood or Dilip Kumar in Kohinoor. Helen allegedly had her own collection of wigs and wore them along with fish net stockings, lacy near nothings and false lashes in her dance sequences. Her favourite was a blond wig too. In Yaadon ki Baarat, Mr Mukerjee obviously got them cheaper by the dozen! So, we have all the men in wigs. Ajit wears one, so does Ranjit and, inexplicably, Dharmendra. Badly cut at the back, and horribly slicked down in front. Even more bewildering is the monstrosity on our favourite sidekick, bad man Shetty, a man best-known for his bald pate. Why! We ask, why! Gentlemen prefer flowers: Yeow! From Rajesh Khanna to Shashi Kapoor to Asrani, they all wore printed shirts to show they were young, debonair, and fancy free. In Ajnabee , Asrani even teams his with a houndstooth jacket! Amitabh wears flower prints in garish colours in Buddha Hoga Tera Baap, to relive his youthful elan! Vijay Arora, Randhir Kapoor, Rishi… have all sported entire gardens on their backs. [caption id=“attachment_77419” align=“alignright” width=“380” caption=“Amitabh Bachchan in Buddha Hoga Tera Baap. Image still from movie”]  [/caption] Today the flowers have morphed into printed messages and cartoon figures. Ranbhir’s printed tees in Wake up Sid got a record number of ‘where can i get one’ queries on the net, and ended up being auctioned! Hey, if you must waste your money, better a T-shirt than the dreaded bouquet gone wild. The shirtless wonder: When Salman took off his shirt in the first few films and showed the hall that he was making his gym membership pay, one sighed and said: ok baba, he has a nice body, let him show it. If girls can flaunt their curves, six packs shouldn’t be left behind. But today the tribe has grown, with unlikely members joining in. Saif, Amir, Shah Rukh, Ranbhir, Imran, they all drop their shirts before you can even say hello. Even chocolate boy Shahid Kapur has grown muscles just so he can join the club. But when it comes to nudity, partial or otherwise, no can beat John Abraham, who went the extra mile and flashed his butt too. The ceaseless parade of pecs and abs reminds us that we can indeed get too much of a good thing. Now when Salman Khan drops his shirt in Ready and asks, “Mazaa aya?’, we want to say: not so much. We may have a come a long way since those Jeetendra days, but bad fashion in Hindi films will never be free of fashion horrors. Besides, in fashion, what goes away comes right back again. So the next time you settle into the plush recesses of a multiplex seat, watch out for that eyesore wig, big floppy tuxedo or white shoes. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger, they will be baaack!